The Laws of Unity: A Blighted Beginning
by JaneSwan
Summary: AU. Lillian was just a normal girl from our world. A dying normal girl with a love of video games. When offered a chance to experience life, she finds herself in Thedas as Rosalind Cousland, the would-be Hero of Ferelden. But this just the very beginning of a very long tale. [Alistair/F!Cousland]
1. Prologue

Prologue

I was just a normal girl. At least I was supposed to be. I'd planned out my life since I was eleven. I would escape my family as soon as I turned eighteen, get on a bus and never look back. I would travel out to California where I could make my dreams come true.

Getting a job there was easier than I thought. I always looked older than I really was and living with my family had forced me to grow up faster than anyone my age. The bar was hectic, but I found that I was extremely good at bartending. I finally saved up enough to go to a graphic design school. I was going to make video games that allowed a person to literally step into them through virtual reality. Give other kids an escape like I had.

And then I fell. Bones shattered, brittle when they should have been strong.

Machines beeped around me, keeping track of my breathing, of my heart beat. A needle in my arm, my leg pointlessly in a cast.

I was dying. With no one else to explain my condition to, no family or kin, the doctor was forced to explain my options to me.

So I laid in this bed, wasting away and waiting for death to claim me. My last thoughts were of the games I'd played- more family to me than my own had been. The stories that had kept me going through my life.

It was late one night when I received a visitor- the first and last, I knew. She was beautiful, long hair and dressed in an elaborate dress. She moved to my bedside as if she were floating, eyes gentle as they took in my condition.

She looked like an angel. Was she here to take me to heaven?

A deep chuckle left the woman- I had said it out loud.

"No.. Not to heaven."

I blinked repeatedly at the deep voice, brows furrowing. A cross-dresser? I stared up at the person, picking out the masculine features. It was like he was from the clergy- he was wearing robes. It wasn't like I was in a position to judge, though.

"Make a wish foundation?"

He smiled kindly down at me, head tilting. It seemed to suddenly dawn on me that he had vibrant blue hair. "Something like that." He looked around the room, lips turning down as he saw how empty it was. "Your family?"

I forced a smile. "Disowned."

"Friends?"

My nose twitched at the questions. He was intent to make me see just how alone I was in my final hours, days. "Does it look like I have any?"

He grimaced, realizing he'd upset me. His fingers brushed over the skin where my IV was wrapped to ensure it wouldn't fall out before sliding into my hand. It was a strange sensation, but I decided it was because I'd not been touched more than what was strictly necessary and professional. He squeezed the digits lightly, his voice calming and soft. "Lillian.. You weren't meant for this life."

I had always felt that way but didn't know that someone else acknowledging it would make me so emotional. I took a deep breath, struggling to control my emotions. "Obviously. I am dying, aren't I?"

"What if I could promise you more time?"

"Are you hiding a cure under those robes?" I joked halfheartedly.

"Perhaps."

His answer caught me by surprise. Was I just supposed to accept what he said by face value? Or was he just getting my hopes up- trying to steal insurance money that I didn't have?

He continued, "It wouldn't be anything like this life. You wouldn't be going to school, working for a living. It would be hard. Difficult. You could die if you do not use your head."

Tears stung my eyes, my nose burnt. "I.. I don't want to die. Not like this, on this bed, waiting for it."

His long fingers brushed over my forehead, sliding down the arch of my nose before pressing on the lids of my eyes as he shushed me. A sense of calm drifted over me as his fingers rested over where my heart would be.

"Your life in this world is now over."

I sucked in a breath, my last one, as I felt my life draining from me. It wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be, dying. It was peaceful, still.

"Your life elsewhere... Will be wrought with trials and foes. You will live several lives over before you are prepared. It will be a gift and a curse to you."

Even though I knew I was dead, I could still hear his voice as I drifted. I felt a warmth through me as if I was being held gently, being carried.

"Just remember to never give up. Strive to see the ending every time. You will never be truly alone for you have an ally in me."

.


	2. I: Escape from Highever

Chapter One

I was warm. It was a feeling I'd nearly forgotten about being in such a cold hospital room with thin blankets and a thinner hospital gown. I rolled over, finding a warm body next to me. I snuggled into it before it forced me to awake. I had never slept next to anything. I tumbled out of the bed, laying on the ground tangled in blankets as I stared at the room in shock. Where was I? Memories slowly pulled back to me and I quickly looked down at my leg, fingers wrapping around it. The bone was whole, not a single mark.

..That man had given me a life different than the one I had lived. I looked up at the bed, a large hound staring down at me like I was an idiot for falling out of the bed. He grumbled low in his chest before laying back down on the bed. I pulled myself up slowly, eyeing the dog curiously. He looked.. Just like a mabari hound from Dragon Age.

"..Titan?"

He lifted his head, tiny tail wagging so he ended up just wagging his entire butt. That was always the name I chose for him- I was surprised that he'd answer to it.

I looked around the room, eyes wide. If he was on a bed.. And I was in the Cousland castle.. I quickly pulled myself out of the blankets with a sense of urgency, going to the wardrobe to pull out a set of leather armor. It took me a moment longer than I liked to figure out all the buckles and latches, but I quickly armed myself to the teeth with knives, a quiver of arrows and a bow. I looked behind me to the warhound, jerking my head. He sensed my worry and quickly moved to my side before I heard what I had been dreading. He growled, the noise rumbling in his chest.

It had begun.

I quickly pulled my door open, glad that no one had yet entered where our rooms were. I could save little Oren and his mother.

I crossed the courtyard quickly to Fergus's room. "Titan, guard the archway. Stay out of sight, but don't let anyone through yet."

I hadn't known if he would actually do it, but he did, lowering himself to pounce on the first person to come into the courtyard of the Teyrn's family.

I pushed open the door to Fergus's room without any knocking, eyes darting around the room. I let out a sigh as I saw Oriana pull herself up from her large bed, eyes wide as she stares up at me. "Sister! What are you doing?"

I quickly shook my head, moving into the room. "No time to explain. We're under attack. I need you to prepare what you can to escape with Oren."

Fear settled on her face, but it was better than seeing that fear permanently burned into her face. I wasn't going to have that staining my memories.

As she hurried around the room, I barred the door with a chair. The weight on my hips caused me to look down, the daggers situated in their scabbards. Would I know how to use them? Would I be able to kill another person?

I looked back, Oriana carefully explaining to Oren that they were going on a surprise trip.

"Are we gonna go see Papa, Ma?" His voice was so sweet, words slurred more than usual with sleepiness as he rubbed his eye.

"Yes, my darling. We'll go stay with a few friends before going to see your papa."

"Yay!"

She quickly shushed him, but I feared that it might have called attention to the room. She looked up at me, showing me those terrified eyes. She was the daughter of an Antivan trader, my mind suddenly informed me. She didn't know how to fight, despite desperately holding an ornamental dagger Fergus had no doubt given her.

"Quietly now, Oren," I said with a small smile that I forced for him. "You must be very quiet. We have to sneak around so no one knows we're leaving, or you'll ruin the surprise for your father!"

He looked at me with his eyes wide, quickly clapping his hands over his mouth. The things he would see this night.. The poor child.

"I am going to go see if the coast is clear."

I quickly pull the chair from the door, eyeing Oriana. "Put this back after I'm gone. Don't open the door to anyone." She quickly nodded her head repeatedly, clutching Oren to her side.

Exiting their room, I took a deep breath. Before Titan, there were already two men dead. He looked up at him, butt shaking as he wagged his tail. "Good boy," I told him, proud just a little. I jogged to where I knew the Teyrn's room to be, my.. mother and father's.

I tried the door, but it was barred. "M-" It was such a hard thing for me to say. "Mother!" I called with a little more force, hoping she can hear me from out here. I heard movement, furniture scrapping from behind the door before a woman with gray hair and the fiercest green eyes appeared before me.

"Oh, my darling!" she said, pulling me into her arms. It was such a different experience, having a mother hold me. I could feel the love she felt for this person I was now, as if I really was her daughter. Looking at her, tears threatening to fall from my eyes, I wished I was. "Rosalind, I heard noises and I thought it was just your hound again, but men screaming? I barred the door."

"Mother, we're under attack. Howe's betrayed us." I didn't know how the words came so easily, so calmly. Perhaps I wasn't positive this was real yet. Just a strange dream.

"Rendon Howe betrayed us? That can't be!"

I shook my head, pointing behind me at the carnage Titan had caused. Her eyes grew wide. "Have you seen your father? He never came to bed!"

"I just woke up, Mother. I knew something was wrong so I ran to Fergus's room."

"Fergus's- Oriana and Oren!" She pulls from me, moving towards their room.

"I got there before anyone else did, Mother. They are safe, but we will need to get them to the servant's entrance in the kitchen's larder."

She turned back to me, quickly hugging me before kissing my cheek. "My smart child." She pulled back, eyes casting to a room I hadn't noticed. "What about your brother?"

I blinked, looking over at the door. Did I have another brother? Eleanor saw my expression, quickly moving to the door. She threw it open. It was a bedroom much like my own, decorated for a man. It was empty, however.

"Where is Adrien?" she asked desperately, looking back at me.

I shook my head, confused. I hadn't known I had another brother. I prayed we wouldn't find him dead somewhere.. I had ensured I wouldn't find any family member's bodies here, but not knowing I had another sibling...

Panic clung to my chest and I immediately knew what my other brother looked like. I needed to find him, needed to protect him.

"I-I don't know, Mother."

"Maybe he stayed out late with the soldiers like he usually does.." I could hear the hope in her voice. It was the same hope I was desperately clinging to. The feelings I felt for these people were different from the ones I had felt when I played this game. It was so much more real. There was a sense of urgency and fear for them. We needed to move, now.

We moved to Oriana's room, knocking on it. "Oriana, are you ready to go? We need to move." Movement punctuated my sentence, quickly moving what she'd used to cover the door before she poked her head out. She looked a little more relieved seeing her mother-in-law in armor. She pulled Oren from the room with a tight hold on his hand, a bag thrown over her shoulder. I let out a whistle and Titan quickly lumbered over, turning just a bit as if he knew what I planned. I quickly gathered Oren into my arms before placing the small child onto Titan's back. Oren had obviously rode the huge beast before, fingers wrapping around his collar and knees pressing into his sides to keep himself on like he was a small pony instead of a hound. I lowered myself down, eye level with the massive dog, his eyes amber and intelligent.

"Oren and Oriana are now your charges. Protect them well, Titan." He let out a soft rumble, acknowledging my order. "Good boy."

I pet his head before pulling myself up and drawing my bow. I felt more confident with it than I did with my knives. I had taken archery long ago- and was good at it.

Not meant for that life, indeed.

My quiver was easy to reach, hanging at the small of my back. I quickly strung an arrow before I moved first, my mother flanking me and keeping close to her grandchild and daughter-in-law.

We didn't get far before the sounds of battle erupted. I glanced over at my mother. "I am going to scout ahead."

Her lips pursed like she wanted to challenge my order, but it seemed that this person I was now, Rosalind, had some skill. She nodded, though her moist eyes told me not to get hurt. Just as I had always imagined a mother acting.

I nodded, before I quickly crept forward.

When I lived with my family, I had always snuck around in the early hours of the night. I knew every creaking floorboard, how to step just so that I wouldn't make a sound. I had always prided myself on that. I had never thought that would come in handy now. It was practically stealthing- it probably was- the way I moved in the shadows, shooting Howe's men down.

I realized very quickly that yes- I could hurt someone else. Thinking of that poor little boy that could have died tonight because of these men.. Yes. I could kill them all and not feel a thing.

I strung my bow, holding it up, three fingers drawing back the string brushing against my cheek. I had to withhold my attack, however, as a man cut down my target. I recognized him instantly, his features similar to Eleanor and Oren's. A man behind him lifted his axe to cut him down and I quickly loosened my grip on the arrow, letting it fly without a second thought. There was a very narrow opening me to hit his attacker, as if I was shooting at an apple on the man's shoulder. It soared true, however, hitting Howe's man in the heart. The man groaned, going down. The man I had saved looked behind him with a raised brow before finding me in the darkness.

"Thanks, little sister!" he called happily before he went back to bludgeoning a man with his large hammer.

Adrien's fighting style was as confident as he was, making me roll my eyes as I fought back tears. He was alive. My brother was alive. I quickly threw my bow over my shoulder, the string over my chest as I drew the daggers at my waist and darted towards the man. It was a strange feeling, the sibling rivalry that tugged at me needily. I couldn't let him have all the fun.

I twirled around him, suddenly fighting as if I had trained for this my entire life, more of a dance than a battle. Adrien and I moved together like two halves of a coin, easily moving under his large swings to slash at enemies aiming for his back.

"Kept me waiting like always, little sister."

"By four minutes!" I spit out involuntarily.

"What were you doing, powdering your nose?" he taunted me just as any normal brother would.

"Yes, and gathering Mother, Oriana and Oren."

He let out a sigh of relief as he bashed a soldier's head in. "Good. We only need to worry about finding Father and Alistair then."

I stilled for a moment, a soldier slowly sliding off my blade. "Alistair?"

Adrien covered for me, pulling me back as he sidestepped and one-handedly slammed his hammer into a man's package. He went down in a sobbing heap. "Don't tell me you forgot about your dream-boat fiance in all this carnage?"

I sputtered, Alistair flashing in my mind's eye, tall and powerful and very much a dream boat. But he was supposed to be at Ostagar by this time?

Adrien makes an understanding noise- strange that I knew what his sounds meant. "You're mad that he stayed up late talking to Duncan. I'll tell you right now, he's not going to join the Wardens without you. And if he does, you know I'll just drag him back kicking and screaming."

I started pulling myself together, getting back in step with Adrien as we took down more men than we should have together.

"As your older brother, it's my duty to avenge my little sister's honor and virtue, after all!"

I snorted at him, shaking my head. Once we had downed all the men that were in the area, I started to pull on his plated arm, dragging him behind me. "Yes, yes, dearest brother. Let's get back to Mother. We need to smuggle Fergus's wife and child out of the castle."

He followed behind me, allowing me to take my hand off him to sheathe my blades. I then pulled out my bow once more, stringing it. I watched his back, walking backwards as he strove forward, up the corridor to where I'd left our family. They were there, my mother giving me a look.

"I don't believe you know the meaning of 'scout ahead', daughter." She was looking pointedly at the blood on my armor.

I looked at her innocently. "What? None of it is mine."

"Maker's tender mercies."

Adrien let out a soft laugh, our mother shooting her with a look. "Don't think you're above reproach, instigating son."

He sobered, "Yes, Mother."

"We need to keep moving," I state, lips pursing. "Time is of the essence. Father is sure to be in the larder, waiting for us."

Adrien looked like he might challenge me, but I shook my head. Eleanor quickly nodded, "Yes, let us move forward."

I looked over at Oriana, frowning apologetically. "You might need to cover Oren's eyes." She nodded quickly, covering them while he rode Titan. He, of course, complained.

I took point, leading them with my strung bow, ready to lose an arrow. Adrien took my flank, frowning. "Alistair is sure to be with Duncan. We can assume he's safe. It's Father I'm afraid for."

I must have let something show on my face- I knew Bryce would be in the larder.. Dying. Adrien was probably more observant than I had realized.

"What is it, Rosie?"

"..I have a bad feeling about Father."

"Me too."

We moved over the dead, Mother, the battle maiden she was, didn't make a comment on how many looked crushed or had arrows sticking out of them.

The sounds of fighting reached us, and I turned back, eyeing my Mother. She nodded- she had total faith in Adrien and I. And so did I, after how well we moved together. I felt in control when next to him, no worries, no fear. We were two souls, hearts beating the same beat. Was this what it meant to be a twin?

Mother directed Oren on Titan and Oriana into a small room, securing the door behind them. They would be safer there then out in the corridor with enemies coming from two sides.

I looked up at Adrien. "Ready to take on an army?"

"You and me against the world, Rosie."

The phrase pulled at something in my heart and I smiled up at him. "Always."

He seemed pleased with my response, moving in front of me- my shield. The sight was so.. familiar, yet it wasn't. He was my protector.

We moved into the great hall where Father had welcomed both Duncan and Arl Howe the day before. I could almost remember the day as if I had been standing there myself. Respectfully asking after the Arl's family. Memories that were mine, but weren't.

It was a massacre. Mages in the back, protected by Howe's men as they fired from a distance. Two knights issuing orders and fighting against our enemies.

My arrow slipped from my fingers, shooting a mage in the chest before another screamed at me. Electricity was fired at me, my bow clattering to the ground as my hands raised up on their own. I caught the magic, fingers shaking at the weight of it. Adrien looked back at me, eyes wide and knowing. It said to get rid of the magic. I threw it back at the mage, fingers twitching as my hands fell to my sides. I could feel the magic in the air, could feel it in my veins. It crackled under my skin with the need to expel it. Something was thinning as I felt all this power at my finger tips. It was foreign, unreal. Magic wasn't real in my world- I didn't know how to control it, how to stop feeling it.

It wasn't necessarily bad.. It was seductive. Tempting. The sight of abominations flashed in my mind's eye, reminding me of what could happen to me if I lose control, if I take too much of it.

It was like a bucket of water was dropped on me, allowing me to get the feelings, the greed for power, under control. I quickly leaned down, lifting up my bow and taking in the room. I quickly caught Adrien's eye as I strung my bow, the look of relief on his face. He nodded to me, going back to bashing men with his hammer. A heavily armored man was suddenly at my side, hands wrapping around my arms. I was about to scream, to get away, but I looked up and caught sight of the man's amber eyes.

Fear and panic that had gripped me when he'd grabbed me suddenly left me, letting out a breath of relief.

"Rose," he murmured before quickly pulling me into his arms.

"Alistair, could you pick worse timing!?" Adrien called as he fought off our enemies.

"Adrien, I need this!" he yelled from over my head. Somehow, I could feel the vibrations of his voice through the plate armor he wore, gauntleted fingers smoothing into my hair for a moment before he quickly pulled away, pushing me behind him as he rose a shield to a man that charged. The sight quickly had me entirely under control, as if a chill was settling into my boiling blood.

"Barricade the doors, men! For the Couslands!"

"For the Couslands!" the men responded to Alistair's order, moving as one body.

Ser Gilmore suddenly appeared, pushing Adrien and Alistair out. "Both of you escape! I will lead the defense here."

Adrien tried to contradict him, but he quickly shut him down. "You must survive, Adrien! Survive and tell others of what has happened here!" His eyes quickly turn to Alistair, looking conflicted. "Protect Lady Rosalind."

It seemed to be the best way to drive his point home to both of them, Adrien putting his hand on Gilmore's shoulder. "I will avenge you, my friend."

He nodded, looking over to me as Alistair started pulling me away. His eyes were painful to stare at but I knew I couldn't look away, even as Alistair herded me out. Somehow, I knew that look. He loved me, or rather, loved Rosalind.

He looked away then, towards the men and Howe's army banging at the large door. "For Lady Rosalind!"

It was a cry I could hear every soldier in the room take up, all defending me. "FOR LADY ROSALIND!"

It was a cry I would never be able to forget.

Adrien and I quickly retrieved our mother, nephew and sister-in-law, Alistair taking point with his large shield, Adrien flanking his left and me flanking his right. Titan, Oren, and Oriana right behind us with our mother taking up the rear.

I crept into the shadows like it was second nature, eyes constantly darting around us for an enemy waiting to attack us. As soon as they showed themselves, they were taken down my the volley of my arrows.

It wasn't long before we fought our way to the pantry, walking over the bodies of Nan and the elven cooks. But what truly broke my heart was Bryce, my father, laying in a pile of his own blood, bleeding out his lifeblood.

"Ah.. There.. you all are," he said weakly as he looked up at us. My mother let out a strangled cry as she quickly moved to his side, Oriana keeping Titan and Oren outside so the small child wouldn't see his grandfather die before his eyes.

Adrien was staring blankly at our father, in shock as if he couldn't believe what was happening before his eyes, as was Alistair. I gently tugged on my brother's arm, pulling him closer to our father.

"..Papa," I gasped out as I neared him. If only I'd woken up early enough to find him, to save him. But I knew I couldn't. I had saved Oriana and Oren- I wouldn't be allowed to save anyone else.

Our mother pressed her hands to his face as she looked at his wound with fear and worry. "Bryce, what's happened?! You're bleeding!"

"Howe's men.. found me first. Almost.. did me in right there," he gasped out through the pain.

Adrien, finally getting control of himself, kneeled at his side. "How did you get here? You can hardly move!"

"Duncan.. found me. Brought me.. here."

"And he left you lying in your own blood?!" Mother was furious. And terrified. "We must get you out of here!"

"I don't think.. I'd survive the standing."

My heart was breaking. I had tried to prepare myself for this sight, thought maybe if Oren and Oriana were safe, maybe he was too. It had been wishful thinking, however.

"Then we will stay and defend you," I vowed, even though I knew I would never be allowed to do such a thing.

Mother was quick to shake her head. "Once Howe's men break through the gate, they will find us. We must go!"

"Someone-" Father had to pause, cough up the blood that had settled in his lungs. "Must reach Fergus.. Tell him what has happened."

I was shaking my head, "You can tell him yourself, Papa."

The man dying before me smiled sadly before he groaned from the pain. "I... wish I could."

"Bryce, no!" Mother said, denying it. "The servants' passage is right here! We can flee together, find you healing magic!"

"The castle is surrounded... I cannot make it."

The door opened, Duncan quickly ushering in Oren, Oriana, and my hound. She held her son to her chest, shielding his eyes despite his demands at seeing Grandpop.

"I'm afraid the Teyrn is correct. Howe's men have not yet discovered this exit, but they surround the castle. Getting past will be difficult." He looked over at the young boy, considering. "Especially with a child."

"You are.. Duncan, then? The Grey Warden?" Eleanor asked, looking from her husband for only a moment.

"Yes, your Ladyship. The teyrn and I tried to reach you sooner."

She looked over at me and then Adrien. "My children helped me get here, Maker be praised."

"I am not surprised." Duncan gave us a look as he kneeled before Bryce as well. I felt a hand on both of my shoulders, glancing up to see both Alistair and Adrien. Alistair offered me support and Adrien leaned against me for support. The two helped me to be strong, helped me to get through this.

"Thank you for saving my father," Adrien offered quietly.

"I fear your thanks are premature. I doubt I have saved him."

"Whatever is to be done now, it must be quick!" Eleanor cried. "They are coming!"

"Duncan... I beg you.. take my wife and children to safety!" Bryce pleaded, looking up at him.

"I will, your Lordship. But.. I fear I must ask for something in return."

He needed his recruit. Glancing up at Alistair, seeing these memories that were mine but also weren't, I knew he wasn't one as he had been in the game. Maric had sent him here rather than to Redcliffe.. A decision I couldn't help but think was a better idea in the end.

"What is happening here pales in comparison to the evil now loose in this world," Duncan continued. "I came to your castle seeking a recruit. The darkspawn threat demands that I leave with one."

My father's eyes rested on mine before sliding to my brother's. "I... I understand."

"What if something has happened to Fergus?" Adrien asks, brows furrowing.

"The king will see justice is done. The Grey Wardens, however, must face the darkspawn above all else."

"He is... right, pup." The endearment had tears silently running down my face. I didn't want to leave these people who were more parent to me in the last hour than my own had been in twenty years. I let out a shuddering sound as I tried to breath, shaking my head. My father's bloody hand reaches up to catch my tear, eyes just as sad as mine. I grasp his hand, eyes closing as I try to remember this feeling of holding my father's hand.

"I will take them to Ostagar, to tell Fergus and the king what has happened. Then, one of your children joins the Grey Wardens."

"So long as justice comes to Howe... I agree."

"Howe thinks he'll use the chaos to.. advance himself." He looks at me, thumb smoothing over my cheekbone. "Make him wrong, pup. See that justice is done. Our family.. always does our duty first. The darkspawn must be defeated. You must go. For you own sake, and for Ferelden's."

"I will, Father. For you," I sobbed.

"Bryce, are you.. sure?"

"Our children will not die of Howe's treachery. They will live and make their mark on the world."

His hand slipped from my face, no doubt leaving the mark of his blood that was watered down by my tears. He stares up at his wife and the love I felt for these people surprised me. Our mother looked up at Adrien and I, her own eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"My darlings, go with Duncan. You have a better chance to escape without me." It didn't matter how much I had prepared myself for this, I knew. She reached out for Adrien, her hand on his face like our father had done to me. She then looks back to her husband, eyes fierce. "Bryce, I will kill every bastard that comes through that door to buy them time. But I won't abandon you."

"Mother.." Adrien began but it didn't matter. We both knew what that look on her face meant.

"I love you both.. So much." Words I had never spoken to another soul and it felt like I was ripping out my own heart to admit the feelings I had formed for these people. I felt like I was truly their daughter. And even if the memories did not belong to me, I could see every conversation I had had with them, every fight, every hug and kind word. How Bryce had called Adrien and I pups since the time we'd been born.

"I love you, Mother, Father," Adrien said, tears falling down his eyes as well.

"Thank you, your Lordship, your Ladyship, for the kindness you have shown me," Alistair said from my side.

"Take care of my daughter," Bryce said, staring at Alistair as he nodded.

"Live, my darlings. Do what is right."

"I'm... so sorry it's come to this, my love..."

Eleanor clung to Bryce. "We had a good life and did all we could. It's up to our children, now."

"Go.. pups. Warn your older brother. And know that we love you both. You do us proud."

"They've broken the gates. We must go now," Duncan said as Titan growled, taking point as Duncan opened the servants' passage. He ushered Oriana and Oren through before taking Adrien's arm and dragging him away. Alistair wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me up and against his body as my legs decided they couldn't carry my weight.

I looked back at my parents, wishing there could have been another way but knowing there wasn't. I would have had to been here the day before to do anything.

"Goodbye, my darling Rose," my mother called after me.


	3. II: Decisions and Honesty

Chapter Two

"Alistair and I will become Grey Wardens. I'm your older brother and that's final." Adrien had tried to place himself in the roll of bossing me around when we reached Ostagar and were away from Duncan's watchful eye. I needed to find a way to speak to Duncan about the coming battle, tell him that it was going to be a disaster. If there was any possible way, he needed to ensure both himself and Cailan survived. I glanced over at Alistair, letting Adrien's words about why it was much to dangerous for me to fight in the war flow through one ear and out the other.

If King Cailan managed to live, Alistair wouldn't feel trapped, forced to take the throne. He could continue to be a Grey Warden, doing good while still feeling like he was free. Until the Inquisition began, that is.

I was also still trying to understand how I was to act around him. I'd managed to call on several memories while I slept of our childhood together. It had always been the three of us against the world. We'd ban together to take down the evil Fergus, Lord of Evil (yes, that was what we called him) and usually end up in tons of trouble with Nan. Alistair trained with Adrien.. And they both helped trained me in meditation after we realized just.. what I was.

I'd also made sense of that time when the mage had thrown the electricity at me and I'd managed to catch it. Why Adrien had given me such a look and why Alistair was so quick to come to my side, to ensure I didn't lose control. Because if I did, I'd be taken away to the Circle, never to see my family again.

"And that's why I'm in charge, little sister," Adrien was saying, giving me a look that demanded my respect.

My brow arched over my eye, head tilting in a typical 'oh really' fashion. "..I wasn't paying attention, but I assure you, you're not in charge."

He groaned, hand sliding over his face. "Rosie-"

"Adrien," I cut him off quickly before he could go back into his monologue. "Allow me to shed some light on this situation. Howe is going to declare himself Teyrn of Highever. He is going to have the power and soldiers under his command to search for us. He will know from the bodies in our castle that we are not among them. Us being alive is the largest threat to his 'rule'," I held my fingers up to quote the word. "He is going to send people to kill both of us. Fergus, he will no doubt hope will die at war. Oren and Oriana have boarded a ship to return to Antiva to stay with her father and his very wealthy family. Where exactly where you wishing to send me, oh brother dearest? And remember, Alistair wishes to join the Grey Wardens as well, leaving me all by myself, defenseless and weak." I rolled my eyes. It felt nice monologuing, especially since it left my brother dumbstruck as he realized the truth to my words.

"..Fine, you can stay with us, but you won't become a Grey Warden."

"Wrong again, brother."

He growled, making me snort a little at the strange noise. Who growls? Seriously? I sobered, remembering what was needed to end a Blight. The soul of a Grey Warden. I let out a breath before striding up to my brother, taking his face between my hands and forcing him to see eye to eye with me. He was at least six feet and four inches and somehow.. I think I was shorter than I once was. It made it difficult.

"Believe me when I say that Ferelden is going to need ever Grey Warden they can get."

A arm wrapped around me from behind, forcing me against my older brother's chest. "I hate it when you're right. About anything."

"Because it usually means you're wrong."

"And you're really not humble about it."

"Isn't it my job as the baby sister?"

"Something you do a little _too_ well it seems," he said with a sigh, letting me go. "I'll go tell Duncan the good news." Sarcasm punctuated his sentence, head shaking as Alistair chuckled.

"You act as if her getting her way is something new." My fellow ginger ruffles my hair and I squeal, moving away to smooth it.

"Let me go tell him, I had a question for him as well," I said quickly, finding my chance.

Adrien raised his brows at me. "You just want to be praised."

I quickly stuck my tongue out at him. "So what?"

"Brat."

"Jerk."

"Children," Alistair said, trying to be the peacekeeper. Just like always. He nudges me along, winking an amber eye down at me. "I'll hold him off."

I bounced up onto my toes, pecking him on the cheek. I giggled when he promptly flushed, spinning on my heel as Adrien gagged. "Thank you, Alistair!"

I quickly moved to the bonfire at the middle of the Grey Warden's camp, looking around for Duncan. Ostagar was different from the game. It was larger- after all, the entire army was stationed here. Tents were pitched everywhere, soldiers sitting around fires, cooking things caught in the woods and polishing their armor. There were more Grey Wardens than I recalled, unfamiliar faces staring up at me curiously. As if they could sense my potential. I found Duncan sitting before the bonfire, staring into the flames. I stood behind him for a moment before he acknowledged my presence.

"My Lady, what brings you to the camp? Have you and your brother made your decision?" He didn't bother looking back at me.

"Yes, sir.. I had hoped I might have a word with you, in private."

He did turn at that, brow raising inquisitively. He must have saw something in my face that made him nod to me, pulling himself up from the log, ushering me into his tent. It was where they made their plans, a table covered in a map and markers. Black for the darkspawn, blue for Grey Wardens, and yellow for Cailan's army I was sure. I moved to the map, frowning down at it.

"What was it that you wished to discuss, my Lady?"

I looked over my shoulder at him as he came to stand at my side and look down at the map as well. "Adrien and I will both be offering our services to the Grey Wardens."

He blinked at me, as if he wasn't sure if he'd heard me right. "And Alistair?"

"Him as well. I hope you will accept us in your ranks." I looked down at the map. "If we are to defeat the darkspawn, you will need every Grey Warden you need."

He nodded his head, eyeing me carefully as if he could see through me. Not a good feeling when I had as many secrets as I did. Like the fact that deep down I'm not actually Rosalind Cousland. "I can't image this was something you could not say before others?"

"It is not," I nodded, eyes still eyeing the map carefully. "This battle you will go into, leaving the recruits behind- to light the signal in the tower should we require reinforcements- will be your last, Duncan. Should you not go into it knowing what awaits you, you and the king and all of his men.. Will die."

I turn to face him, seeing how he will take the news of his death or if he will even believe me.

He furrowed his brows but looked reasonably open to my words. "And how can you back up your words? How can you prove this?"

"What I am about to tell you, I wish to keep strictly between us. I would not inform you of this secret if I did not feel this was strictly necessary."

His lips twisted, but I figured that was as much of an answer I was going to get.

"There are things I know that it makes no sense that I know, nor would it be possible whatsoever for me to have access to the secrets I possess. Such as the ritual you will soon prepare us for. We go into the Wilds to kill darkspawn, gathering vials of blood you will put into a chalice.." I looked up at him through my lashes, brows slanting over my eyes. "Filled with preserved blood of an Archdemon."

He took in a deep breath as he stared at me. I felt as if I had grown three heads.

I nod, turning to the map. I lift up the largest block colored black, placing it on the darkspawn horde they will march into. "This is a true Blight, one that will threaten all of Thedas if we do not stop it now. The reinforcements you summoned from Orlais will be turned from the border should they not steal across in small groups of no more than three. If they do not, you will have to use what you have here. The battle you face with have orges, large massive things. Cailan, ever wishing to be the hero like his ancestor, will die in the fist of one." I looked over at him. "You will die at their hand as well."

I turned from the map, leaning against the table and folding my arms. "You leave three recruits that have no idea what will befall them, what responsibility will rest on their shoulders. I know you wish to slay it yourself as your Calling is coming- you can feel it, hear the singing. You know it will be upon you soon and what better way than to offer your soul to kill the Archdemon?"

I pause, frowning as I turn my eyes to look up at him. "Why call it that when it looks like a dragon?"

He seemed to be having difficulty taking in my words, his answer wooden. "Archdemons possess an intelligence far beyond the average dragon and are purely evil creatures. It is the mind, the leader of the darkspawn. A Blight begins when the darkspawn find and taint an Old God—"

"Which means it's already started. Have you any dreams of the Archdemon, Duncan?"

Again, my knowledge of Grey Wardens surprises him, looking down at me like I was something he couldn't figure out.

"How..?"

I shook my head. "For now, just know that I know what events will unfold in the future. It is why I must become a Grey Warden. I will end this Blight so that my brothers can live in a Blight free world."

His hand rests on my shoulder, taking a deep breath as he takes everything in. "..I know you speak truth. It is much to absorb, but I know.." He shakes his head as if he can't believe he's saying it. "I know you are telling the truth. And you know far too much for me to doubt."

I let out a breath, shaking my head before I stare up at him, my eyes pinning him in place. "You will tell Alistair of his mother before you leave for the battle. He deserves to know of Fiona."

He lets out a breath. "Is there anything you don't know?"

I think about that for a moment. "..Yes," I said with a nod.

He waited for me to respond, hand still on my shoulder like a welcome weight. My eyes drop to the ground, letting out a breath.

"Where I will go after I die."

He squeezed my shoulder. "Another adventure, I am sure."

The truth I knew to be in his words both worried me and excited me.


	4. III: Clash of the Sloth

Chapter Three

I stood with Alistair, Adrien, Jory, and Daveth as Duncan explained to us our task. He introduced us to a quiet man who was a junior member of the Order who would watch over us as we went about our tasks. It was strange. The role was supposed to belong to Alistair, yet he stood at my side, just as new as I was. (Though, honestly, Duncan could have probably sent me as the junior member. I knew enough and could probably find my way to Morrigan and the chest the scrolls were supposed to be housed.)

I looked over the man who replaced Alistair. It was hard to follow Alistair in an act. It didn't help that he was staring at me like I belonged in a kitchen. We were going to clash.

"I am Lotherine. I expect you to keep up- we won't be taking any breaks in the Wilds." He was looking at me pointedly.

We would clash, severely.

"Try not to slow me down, Slotherine. Everyone grab your gear and meet at the gate. I want to get this field trip done quickly."

He shoots me a cold glare for taking his place as leader, but I really couldn't help it. He was pissing me off. Duncan gave me a pointed look but otherwise ignored my insubordination.

I thought it was interesting that my fellow recruits did as I asked, though I'm sure Adrien and Alistair had given Dory and Dave a look that said not to cross me.

Sometimes I wondered if I really wasn't Rosalind.

The others left and Lotherine quickly stopped me, trying to intimidate me as he towered over me. "I am the superior officer on this mission. I would like you to remember your place."

"My place? And where is that, hmm?"

"Under me, my Lady." He said my title with enough sarcasm to fill the Nile with water.

"Allow me to enlighten you, Loth- can I call you Loth? If you have to pull rank to get your way, it means you aren't truly a leader. You're there to watch us and to guide us to the chest that holds the scrolls- which I could probably find on my own." I smiled at him sweetly. "Don't play with fire." I left the threat hanging in the air as I turned on my heeling, hoping my slightly long hair would smack him in the face as I left. I gathered up my pack as I walked to the gates, leaving him behind me.

Adrien was quick to catch up with me, dropping his heavy arm over my shoulder. "You know, you'd probably make the best Teyrna Ferelden has ever seen." He dropped his voice and his torso to speak in my ear conspiratorially. "You could probably usurp the King if you really wanted."

I elbowed him in the side- he didn't know how right he was in that statement. "Too bad I'm going to be a Grey Warden. You'll never become a Commander now, Adrien. Do you want to borrow my shoulder?"

He quickly ruffles my hair, laughing. "Oh, sister, your confidence is sure to smother the rest of us!"

"Anyone else would be hurt by that, but I know when you're really trying to compliment someone. It's too bad Mother..." My good humor was suddenly lost with the sudden memory of leaving our parents to die. It felt like I was dying—and I knew what it felt like to die.

Adrien's arm tightens around my shoulders, pulling me flush into his side. His head rests on top of mine, shushing me quietly as a tear slips out the corner of my eye. "I know, little sister. I know."

My arm went around his waist weakly, fingers wrapping into the leather of his tunic. "It's okay. I'll make the most out of the opportunity they gave us," I whispered, a sad smile pulling at my lips. "I'll keep you alive, brother."

Adrien let out a breath, shaking his head. "Don't steal my lines. That's rude."

Alistair was waiting at the gate for us, brows raising. "What's rude?"

Adrien detached himself from me, being over dramatic as he put his hand over his heart as if I'd mortally wounded him. "My dearest sister is acting as if she is older, trying to console me and use the lines reserved for me!"

Alistair looked at me with his brows raised. "This is where you hail him as the Queen of Drama," I informed him. He frowned his eyes before nodding at Adrien.

"Yes, stealing someone's lines is very upsetting. I understand your heartbreak."

I imagined my face resembled grumpy cat as I frowned deeply at both of them before we all started laughing quietly.

Dave walked up, looking like he wanted to know why we were laughing, wanted to be apart of the fun. I shrugged, looking away from everyone as I focused on pushing down the anguish I still felt. I felt someone hesitantly grasp my hand and looked up at Alistair, clad in armor of a Cousland knight. It brought me a bit of ease, almost regretting he would soon trade it for Grey Warden plate.

I raised a brow up at him, blinking just a bit at him.

"After.. After the ritual, there's something I want to talk to you about."

I grip his fingers lightly, head tilting as I looked him over. He seemed uncomfortable about whatever he wanted to talk about before it dawned on me. He was my betrothed—my parents had set up the match, my mind supplied. He would ask to be released from it, no doubt.

I forced a smile—even if he wouldn't be my fiance, he would still be my friend. He wouldn't leave Adrien and I... Right?

I recalled the one time I had made the wrong decision in the game, how he had turned from me, left because he couldn't accept the choice I'd made to let Loghain Mac Tir live to become a Grey Warden. He hadn't seen that I had made the choice because I wished Loghain to plunge his sword into the Archdemon, to repay his debt to Ferelden by saving it.

So that Alistair wouldn't have to make the sacrifice of going to Morrigan's room or killing the monster himself.

Alistair had gone off to become a drunk in the Free Marches. Left me before the battle to die.

I took a deep breath, looking up at Alistair. This one was not that one. He was raised by my family and because of that, we'd never mistreated him. He had never had to live in a barn, was never sent to the Chantry against his wishes. I had to hope that this small change made him stronger, less likely to desert me.

I nodded. If he didn't want to be romantically linked to me, I wouldn't stop him. I wasn't the same girl he knew, after all. "Yes, of course, Alistair. No getting stabbed then."

He had stared at me as I let my mind run rampant, following the changes in expression I undoubtedly made. He poked my chin, forcing me to stop chewing on my lip. "You really have to stop that habit, Rose." He smiled down at me kindly before dropping a kiss to the crown of my head, moving back over to Alistair as I'm left to lift my gloved hand to my head. Adrien caught me looking and quickly flashed me a knowing look that I stuck my tongue out at.

Soon we were joined by the Sloth, who shoot me a glare, and set out into the Wilds.


	5. IV: Swooping Is Bad

Chapter Four

I could feel his breath on the back of my neck as I used my blade to harvest the darkspawn's blood. Jory was currently emptying his stomach in a ditch while Alistair glared daggers at Lotherine's back.

Who was standing over me like an annoying teacher just waiting for me to make a mistake so he could rub it in my face.

But I wasn't making a mistake and he was breathing loudly into my ear to make up for it.

"I swear to God, if you don't move away from me, I'm stabbing you in your _fucking_ lips just so that I have an excuse to stitch them closed," I growled down from over my dead darkspawn—one of the bigger ones that I had single handedly downed in close range. Two daggers to the eyes helped with ensure the rest of him didn't bleed out all of his lifeblood, giving me more to drain into my vial.

Adrien took my threat as an indication that he needed to ensure Lotherine moved away from me, going as far as to shove him away. "I'd do what she says and step away from her."

He did eye me, however, for my strange use of words. I forgot I shouldn't say 'God' here. It was Maker. That was their God here.

I pulled myself up, carefully corking my vial and putting it away in my pack. The way that Adrien was now looking over me was like I was a time bomb, and with my magic just waiting under my fingers for me to grasp, I supposed I was. My relations with Lotherine just continued to spiral downwards and I felt he was just waiting for me to attack him so he could report me to Duncan.

I had more self control than that, though.

I hoped.

We quickly gathered the vials of blood we needed for the ritual before we quickly moved in the direction of the old fort that should house the scrolls.

How nice was it that the broken stone chest was just right there before us. I hung back, waiting for Morrigan to appear as Adrien inspected the broken chest, hoping the scrolls might be inside.

I took a breath, practically sensing the woman that clung to magic, holding it at her fingertips as she moved towards us, making her entrance.

"Well, well.. What have we here?" She had spoken purely to alert us to her presence, gain our attention. Lotherine quickly drew his weapon, and I quickly glared at him, holding my arm out to stay them. "Are you vultures, I wonder? A scavenger, poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned?" She moved slowly in her scandalous clothing, no doubt dumbfounding the men.

I quickly moved to the front of the group, knowing I would have to be polite so that she would not be insulted by them and lose the scrolls. Deep down, I knew Morrigan wanted to help us. She seeked an escape from a mother whom had abused her her entire life. In a way, I knew I could relate to her. The scars our parents can leave on us can affect our entire lives, make it harder to form relationships and friendships with others when you cannot even trust someone who was supposed to always care for you.

"Or merely an intruder," she continued. "Come into these darkspawn-filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey?" She stopped before me, golden eyes staring me down. "What say you, hmm? Scavenger or intruder?"

Lotherine moved to speak, Morrigan's eyes flashing to him but something about her made him close his mouth, as if those bright eyes unnerved him.

My lips curled with an easy smile, head tilting, the movement drawing her eyes back to me. "You did not allow us a third option. We are neither, Grey Wardens sent to retrieve articles in this tower that was once owned by the Grey Wardens." I eye her carefully, choosing my words carefully. "You know what I seek, and you know it is not here, isn't that right?"

"As this is not a tower any longer, the Wilds claiming this desiccated corpse." She moved around us, eyeing Lotherine carefully as he moved away. He had no doubt heard the tales of the witches in the Wilds. Morrigan ignored my question, continuing on. I couldn't blame her, she hadn't spoken to another person in ages, I imagined. "I have watched your progress for some time. 'Where do they go', I wondered, 'why are they here?' And now you disturb ashes none have touched in so long.. For something that is likely gone."

"We shouldn't answer her," Alistair said quietly. "She looks Chasind, and that means others may be nearby."

"Ooo!" Morrigan says as she raises her hands. She heard Alistair, obviously. "You fear barbarians will swoop down upon you?"

"Yes, swooping is bad," Alistair quickly replied, brows furrowing at the thought.

I couldn't help but laugh quietly, no doubt making everyone fear I didn't understand the situation.

Morrigan, however, gave me a small smile, probably thinking she'd made me laugh herself.

"She's a Witch of the Wilds," Daveth quickly said, "She'll turn us into toads!"

"Witch of the Wilds? Such idle fancies, those legends. Have you no minds of your own?" Her eyes turn back to me. "You there. Women do not frighten like little boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine."

I took a breath, remembering the name I am to have here.

"I am Rosalind. I am pleased to meet you."

"Now that is a proper, civil greeting! Even here in the Wilds. You may call me Morrigan." She paused, before she continued. "The articles you seek are here no longer as you said."

"'Here no longer'," Alistair repeated, looking just a little red in the face. "You stole them, didn't you? You're.. some kind of... sneaky.. witch thief!"

"Alistair," I quietly chastised. The look he gave me said his behavior was her fault.

"How very eloquent. How does one steal from dead men?"

"Quite easily, it seems. Those documents are Grey Warden property, and I suggest you return them," Alistair all but demanded. I shook my head, sighing.

"Morrigan, you know where they are located, don't you?"

She slowly nodded her head. "Indeed, I do, however invoke a name that means nothing here any longer if you wish; I am not threatened."

I bow my head to that. "I apologize for my companions' rash behavior. You have us much at a disadvantage, suddenly appearing the way you did. It would be most appreciated if you could tell us what you know about the documents for they are extremely important to our cause against this Blight."

She raised a brow at me, unfolding her arms as she took on a slightly less defensive pose. "'Twas my mother who removed the documents."

I nodded. "Can you take us to her?"

"There is a sensible request. I like you."

Morrigan was simple, even if she didn't understand how to form relationships with others. If you are polite to her, she will be polite to you. To the best of her abilities, that is.

"I'd be careful," Alistair warned. "First it's, 'I like you..' but then 'Zap!' Frog time."

I took a deep breath before I stepped on his foot, hoping it might shut him up.

"She'll put us all in a pot, she will! Just you watch."

"If the pot's warmer than this forest, it will be a welcome change," Jory replied, saying the first thing since he'd puked after our first encounter with the darkspawn.

I groaned, turning around to level Daveth with a glare. "There will be no pots, Daveth. Please shut up with your superstitions. Be like Adrien," I looked over at my brother, patting him on the back. "All quiet and.." Totally smitten. Shit. Well, this was no good. I was going to have to watch them closely—otherwise Morrigan will have a Old God son by using Adrien.. Though I'm not positive she could really use someone..

"Follow me, then, if it pleases you," Morrigan said, pointedly ignoring the rabble as she turned into the shrubs. She pushed them aside, waiting just long enough for me before she continued on, leading us deeper into the forest as Alistair muttered something under his breath. Sometimes I couldn't tell if the two of them antagonized each other because they were fighting back a mutual attraction or because they truly did hate each other deep down.

.

 **Author's Note:** Thank you so much for reading thus far. This is a very large project I have decided to undertake merely due to me playing the game once more... And Alistair. I hope you all find some amusement and entertainment from my rendition of Dragon Age Origins. Be aware that we will be going off-roading in later chapters. (So keep reading!~)

Jane


	6. V: The Death Joining

Chapter Five

Morrigan was kind enough to show us almost all the way to our encampment, though her farewell left much to be desired. She had said it was as far as she could take us and then slipped into the night.

Maybe she sensed the templars were near.

The camp looked much different in the cold night air. Everything had a darker tinge to it, like we'd gone from the original to a Tim Burton version of Ostagar. It made me move closer to the fires, giving me a brief reprieve from the chill. My arms wrapped around myself. Maybe I was subconsciously afraid about surviving the taint. My eyes cast over to my brother and Alistair, knowing it wasn't me I worried for. If I died, it was likely I wouldn't actually die.. That man that had sent me here.. Surely there were other things he intended me to do. He had said I would 'live several lives'.

I had probably made a deal with the devil, I realized. I was equally surprised to realize I wasn't worried about it. The man was giving me a chance to live a story I love. I could only imagine what else he would allow me to experience. I was grateful to the devil I'd probably sold my soul to.

We moved with purpose through the camp to the Grey Warden bonfire, Duncan still standing before it. He turned at the sound of our approach, eyeing us carefully. "So you have returned from the Wilds. Have you been successful?" His eyes fell to me as he asked, rather than his Grey Warden subordinate.

I nodded, "Yes, we have."

"Good. I've had the Circle mages preparing. With the blood you've retrieved, we can begin the Joining immediately."

I nod before remembering what the witch, Flemeth, had said. It wasn't much different from what I had told Duncan myself but I figured I should tell him what occurred anyways. "Perhaps we should tell you first about Morrigan and her mother."

Duncan looked confused, Adrien quickly filling in the gapes. "There was a woman at the tower. Her mother had the scrolls."

"They were both.. very odd," Alistair added.

"Where they wilder folk?"

"I don't think so," Alistair replied, looking thoughtful. "They might be apostates: mages hiding from the Chantry."

"The old woman wanted to inform you that the magnitude of the Blight is being underestimated," I told him, lips twisting as I give him a meaningful look.

Duncan nods, sending me a small nod though he outwardly showed disinterest.

"Chantry business is not ours. We have the scrolls; let us focus the Joining."

"What if we.. Have second thoughts?" It was a small voice and I would have been surprised to hear it from Jory if I had not been expecting it. He was a man of honor and duty. It should have been out of his character to ask such a question. He was not without his flaws.

Duncan's eyes seemed to cut through the man. "Let me be very clear on that point. You are not volunteers. Whether you were conscripted or recruited, you were chosen because you are needed. There is no turning back now. You must gather your courage for what comes next."

"Courage?" Daveth questions. "How much danger are we in?"

"I will not lie; we Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to become what we are. Fate may decree that you pay your price now rather than later."

I look back at my brother and Alistair, both of them wearing their brave faces. I took a deep breath and put on mine as well. "We have come this far. Let us see this through."

Duncan nodded to me, glad to see that I accepted it.

"Let's go then. I'm anxious to see this Joining now," Dave said, following our lead.

"I agree. Let's have it done," Dory agreed.

"Then let us begin." Duncan was extremely mysterious as he stared at us. "Lotherine, take them to the old temple."

The grumpy warden led the others, but I stayed back, shooting a look at Alistair and Adrien to go without me. I looked over at Duncan, speaking before he can shoo me away.

"If I die in the Joining, there are things I need to tell you," I said quietly, hoping no one else would overhear my words. Duncan nodded, guiding me to the mages' encampment.

I spoke quickly and quietly, Duncan leaning down just a little to listen to me as I spoke.

"Without my involvement of informing you, the battle will be a slaughter as I mentioned before. Loghain will turn his men away, abandoning the king and all of us to the darkspawn. He will return to Denerim and proclaim that Grey Wardens betrayed the king, making it impossible for reinforcements to make it across the border. Should Cailan fall, the three of us, Alistair, Adrien and myself, will travel all of Ferelden, building an army to end the darkspawn using the treaties. While Anora is the true ruler of Ferelden rather than Cailan, she is just as manipulative as her father and will try to make herself Queen. The only sound decision is Alistair, but trust me when I say that he is miserable on the throne with so much responsibility. He would be a better king than his brother, but he would hate every moment of it."

I took a deep breath, shaking my head. "What I mean is, do not allow Cailan to die. The best place for him to hide would be in Redcliffe but after the battle, you will find that Arl Eamon's castle and the village below is set upon by.. I don't recall if they are the undead or darkspawn. You need mages from the Circle to fix their problems with the Arl's son, Connor. And the Circle is having issues of their own with blood mages..."

"It seems we will have our work cut out for ourselves," Duncan said as I paused in thought, trying to remember everything. We entered the Magi encampment, Duncan quickly retrieving the chalice that was full of black liquid. I tried not to breathe near it—I had harvested most of the blood, I knew it would not smell nice.

As we moved to the old temple, Duncan spoke once more. "I sent a missive after sending you into the Wilds. Grey Wardens should arrive in groups of twos and threes. You will not be alone in the end, even if I do not live to see it."

I stared at him, glaring. "You are to rescue Cailan and survive, Duncan."

He raised his brow, looking at me from the corner of his eye. "Spoken like a true leader, young Rosalind. I have no fears in leaving them to you if need be."

I grumbled under my breath. "We'll see if I survive first. If I don't, you sure has hell aren't allowed to die and leave Alistair and Adrien without a leader. If you leave them with Sloth, I'll find your spirit in the Fade and torment you!"

He grinned at me before sobering, walking slowing up the steps, the black liquid hardly moving with the movement. "Prepare yourself, Rosalind."

"I've been preparing myself for this moment since I woke and realized where I was in Highever."

He looked down at me curiously, but I refused to go more into detail. For anyone.

 **.**

Dave and Dory were gone. Dave succumbed to the taint and Dory tried to fight his way out- both met their ends.

Adrien closed his eyes and took a long breath through his nose. For a moment, I believed in twin telepathy. I could practically see him call up the image of our father and mother. "Do what's right." "You do us proud."

He reaches over and squeezes my hand, giving me a long look as if he was trying to say goodbye if it came to that. And then he steps forward, letting go of me and taking the chalice in Duncan's hands.

"Bottoms up," he muttered before tipping the goblet back and drinking the taint.

He handed it back after a few moments, forcibly swallowing it. It only took a few seconds for the taint in the blood to take hold, hands going to his head as he held it in pain, crying out.

I was there to catch him as he fell backwards, his eyes open but the only thing visible were the whites of his eyes. I held his head in my lap, pressing my slim and leather covered wrist into his mouth so he wouldn't bite his tongue off on accident. It only muffled his screams, but luckily they didn't last much longer.

Soon enough, his green eyes were blinking up at me and then down to his mouth were he was biting on my wrist. He quickly spat it out and I helped to ease him up and onto his feet, smoothing my hands over his arms. The relief I felt that he had made it through almost covered my worry I felt for Alistair. I met Duncan's eyes as he welcomed Adrien as a brother, tilting my head just a bit towards Alistair. I would drink last.. After I knew they had both made it through.

He honored my wish, offering Alistair the chalice next.

I left Adrien's side quickly as he reached for the chalice, drinking deeply before handing it back. I hovered, not sure if I should grab him now or wait for him to fall like I knew he would. I just wanted to ease his pain, anyway I could. If I could take the pain of the Joining away, keep it for myself, I would. His scream would mark every nightmare I would ever see, the whites of his eyes terrifying me. It made my insides go cold—not like when I was fighting and needed to keep my cool, but as if I would literally cease to exist if he died.

A reality that was suddenly very real to me.

He swayed, about to fall over when I quickly grabbed him, forcing him to fall onto me. I managed to stop myself from taking too much damage from the fall, fingers sliding into his hair as I looked up at my brother. He gripped my shoulder as he crouched next to me, trying to support me as we watched over our childhood friend.

My fellow ginger slowly opened his eyes, no longer white, but amber, staring straight up at me. A large tear fell onto his cheek before I quickly wiped at my eyes, stilling when I felt his hand reach up into my hair. "Rose," he breathed, lips curling at the edges.

Adrien rolled his eyes, grasping Alistair's arm as he pulled him up and away from me. "The Joining is not yet complete, lover boy."

I stayed on the ground as I looked up at Duncan. A calm settled into my mind as I stared up at him. I reached for the chalice, preferring to drink from the ground. Probably unheard of, but I doubted I could stand.

I looked down into the liquid, pausing before I drank, looking up at Duncan. He was staring at me pointedly, as if silently demanding I drink.

"Should I die, you will inform them of what I told you."

He slowly nodded, "You have my word."

I nodded back to him as if I were curtsying to a noble, rather than sitting on a dirty floor. I lifted the chalice to my lips, somehow not put off by the smell. I only took a small sip before the goblet was falling out of my limp fingers, my body falling back. I could hear them cry out for me as I stared upwards, unseeing. Voices twisted around me, the Archdemon screaming at me. The large creature was the most disgusting dragon I had ever seen, tainted yet intelligent. I could feel myself shake, spasming as the beast spoke to me, promised to destroy everything and take Thedas for it's own twisted wants.

I did not speak, I did not scream. I felt that if I had done so, it would know of my location, come to find me. It was calling me..

" _My queen..."_

I could feel it lusting after me, wanting me. To taint me just as it was tainted.

" _I will free you from your cage..."_

To use me for its own wicked reasons.

" _I will come for you,"_ it promised.

My skin crackled with power at the promise, as if on a physically level I was rejecting it.

It felt like a door had been slammed closed on its face and suddenly the connection was severed, my eyes blinking up at the men who stared down at me worriedly. A hand rested on my cheek, forcing my eyes to the one that held me, suddenly feeling relief as I looked up at Alistair.

I lived. I survived the joining.

"What did you see?" Duncan asked, eyes worried. "You were.. You took longer than most. I had almost thought you were lost to us."

"..The Archdemon." I swallowed loudly. "I understood him."

"What did it say?" Adrien asked, fingers gripping my hand.

I shook my head, shivering, unable to say. That was something I had never experienced, never knew would occur. My eyes found Duncan's, seeing my own worry and fear reflected in his dark depths.

"It is finished," he said, as if that ended that conversation, dismissing it. "Welcome, sister."

 **.**

 **Author's Note:** Two chapters in one this time! My typical chapter is about 1200-1500 words. Feel free to leave me any comments or feedback! Your words propel me to post faster and give you more than usual! (And I have at least 30k words already written for this.. I have a problem. Hehe.)


	7. VI: You Are You

With a promise that we, the new recruits, would accompany Duncan to the meeting with the King at the first break of dawn, Duncan dismissed us to find our dinners and bedrolls for the evening.

I was still in shock, my brother and Alistair pulling me away as Duncan went to strategize for the coming battle. We found dinner, Adrien and Alistair taking turns reminding me to eat. After they'd both done it twice each, I finally decided I needed to get a hold of myself. I could think on what I saw later when I had a moment to myself where I wouldn't be worrying someone else.

Adrien and Alistair seemed pleased I was eating my now cold food without the need to be prodded, quickly finishing it when I found myself to be famished. Once finished, I saw Alistair and Adrien share a nod before my brother lumbered off in search of his bedroll. I was about to follow him, but Alistair's gentle hand on my wrist caused me to pause.

He looked up at me, lips thinning as he tried to pick his words carefully. "It's after the ritual."

I suddenly remembered—he had something to say to me as soon as it was over. And it was. "And we are both alive."

I slowly lower myself to the log beside him, his hand sliding from my wrist to my hand, carefully tracing the lines on my palm. It felt so strange to be touched on my hand—it was just the hand, yet the way the tip of his finger brushed against my skin made it feel so intimate. It didn't help that I had next to no romantic experience... Besides romancing characters in games like him.

Even though he wasn't.. the same. I could see that. Being raised in Highever had changed him, for the better. He was more confident and I knew that if he absolutely had to lose Duncan it wouldn't kill him inside like it had done to game-Alistair. Which was horrible to think about, I inwardly groaned at myself. Feeling pain over a loved one passing away was not a weakness. I just.. Alistair is stronger now. He grew up with love, respect, friends.

"Maker be praised," he sighed softly.

For a moment I thought he had heard my thoughts—but no. He was thanking the fact we were both alive. "Alistair.." I said quietly, looking up at him through my lashes. I had to make a conscious effort to stop myself from stumbling over my words. "What was it you," I swallowed suddenly forgetting how to breath for a moment as I looked into his amber eyes. "..wanted to talk about?"

He took a breath before he nodded, eyes casting down to his hand on mine.

I took a deep breath as well, mentally preparing myself for what I assumed would be the break up talk. Not that we were really together from what I understood. Just an engagement that had been decided years ago. He had never even kissed Rosalind.. me yet.

"Ever since.. The attack." His eyes slid up my arm to my face, instantly pulling heat to my face as if his gaze was burning me. "I just wanted to say that I was so... Impressed."

My head tilted as my brows furrowed, confused. "Impressed?"

He nodded slowly. "You've been... Inspirational. You adapted, took charge. You saved your nephew and sister-in-law, made sure they got out alive. You willingly faced the taint, kept your head. Adrien wouldn't tell you to your face, but the only reason he's keeping everything together is because you are so strong."

It was so odd seeing the usually humorous Alistair compliment me. I wasn't prepared for it, that was to be sure. I was glad it was so dark and that the fire threw an odd light over my face. He wouldn't be able to see just how red I truly was.

He reached over with his free arm, cupping my cheek in his hand. "I have never.. Felt so drawn to you, Rosalind."

I blinked, the name pulling me out of my Alistair-induced trance. I wasn't Rosalind, I was reminded. My name was Lillian. Not Rose, or Rosie, or Rosa, or Rosalind. The pain that resided in my heart from that realization _hurt_. I couldn't let this go on, couldn't entertain the urge to reach for him, someone I wasn't meant to have. I was meant to enjoy the story, live a life I had never dreamed possible. Romance and love.. would be tempting fate. I took a deep breath before I tried to force a laugh. Humor was how you get out of situations like this, I decided.

"I thought you were going to ask to break off the engagement that my parents forced you into."

His eyes widened like he couldn't believe I had thought of that. "No—well I mean..."

I forced a smile, but I was sure it looked sadder than anything else as I pulled away from him, bouncing up onto my feet to put some space between us. "You don't have to worry. We will always be friends. Besides, it's not like I ever kidded myself into believing you loved me. Goodnight, Alistair."

I quickly turned and power walked to where Adrien was hunkered down in his bedroll, moving mine next to his and quickly sliding into it. I rolled onto my side just in case Alistair decided to put his next to mine—I didn't think I'd be able to handle accidentally looking at him right now. I peeked open one eye, blinking both of them open when I realized my older brother was tiredly staring me down with one of his eyes. All it took was one look at my face before he groaned, sliding a hand out of his bedroll to rub my arm.

"What happened now?" he questioned quietly, a brotherly grumble about sisters muttered under his breath.

"Nothing," I sniffed, letting my eyes close as I enjoyed the affection he showed me.

"Bull shit."

I rolled into him, smacking him with my head at his curse. His arm just draped over me like a heavy blanket, keeping me close. It felt so natural to be near my twin, to press my head against his as a few tears leaked.

"You know, you're a little different since the attack."

That just made me shake more.

"That's not a bad thing, Rosie. You're.. You're different, but still the same."

"But.. I'm not," I said quietly.

"You're my twin. If I say you are, you are."

I shook my head against him. "If you knew—if you _really_ knew—you wouldn't like me."

"Again, little sister. Bull shit. When I said you're different.. It's like you finally woke up."

My brows furrow, sniffling quietly as I moved my head back to look into his one open eye.

"Woke up?"

"You were.. Like this. When you were really young. Bossy, loud, and passionate. A crybaby, too," he said, pulling on my hair lightly. "I don't think you even remember it well. That's because it was before the accident. There was a visiting dignitary. Tall man with weird hair."

"..Weird hair?"

"Mm. It was blue. Anyways. You decided to jump from a window into a stack of hay."

I was stuck on the blue hair for a moment before paying attention to him once more. Jumping into a pile of hay... Seemed like something I would personally want to do.

"Something went wrong. Everyone.. Said you were dead. But that dignitary was a doctor of sorts. You came back to us... But you were never the same. Quieter, more prone to hide behind Mother's skirts and let Alistair and I do whatever we wanted as you followed along quietly."

It was as if.. I _was_ Rosalind. It was almost too good to be true, to be this character and not some strange girl from a different world.

"Adrien.." I murmured quietly, tugging on his arm as it had been a bit since he had spoken. He made a sound, letting me know he was awake. "What if.. My soul had been somewhere else? But was returned here when we were attacked?"

"I would say that we were very lucky you came back when we needed you the most." Both of his green eyes opened and it felt like they pinned me in place with their intensity. "If you had not returned to us, I don't think things would have worked out the way they did. The Rosalind I knew before.. Was a pacifist. I was amazed when you shot that man right over my shoulder. More so when you and I fought together like it was something we'd always done."

My brows furrowed. "..We had never.. fought like that together before?" It had seemed as simple as breathing to me. I knew where he would move, knew how I needed to move to avoid getting hit with his huge hammer.

"Never."

My eyes watered once more—he had known I wasn't.. Rosalind since the very beginning. I remembered how Alistair had looked at me, so worried, when he'd grabbed my shoulders in the great hall. I had thought it was because of my magic... But it was because they knew I wasn't.. her.

"..Where have you been little sister?"

I sobbed quietly into his chest. "Living a nightmare."

He soothed me, rubbing my back gently. "You don't answer to Rosalind, sister."

"It isn't—wasn't my name."

"And what is your name?"

"Lillian."

He took a deep breath, nodding against the top of my head as he let out his breath. "Lily."

.

Despite the relief that surged through me, the feeling of warmth and comfort as I was smushed between two bodies of heat (Adrien to the left and Alistair on my right) wrapped around me like a comfortable blanket, I knew I couldn't sleep. There was something I had to do, a task I knew would nag me if I didn't complete it now.

And I don't intend to live with any regret.

I waited until my brother's in arms were sound asleep and breathing deeply before I carefully slid from my bedroll and quickly pulled on my boots. I was always so amazed how quietly my body seemed to move of its own accord—I was a ninja, obviously.

Clad in my new Grey Warden armor that I knew I wouldn't soon want to take off despite the coming threats to the Wardens, I slinked through the camp, quickly navigating to the King's army's camp grounds. It was easy to find—just follow the sound

of drunken merriment.

I weaved around campfires, eyes darting about for a familiar face. I didn't know if Hawke was a man or a woman, but the one thing I did know for a fact was that Carver was bound to be near Hawke. It was his face—black hair, clear blue eyes, and a chiseled jaw—that I searched for. I grew more and more agitated as my search seemed fruitless, sneering at soldiers that tried to call out to me and keeping my hand on the pommel of one of my short swords on my belt.

I was getting close to giving up until tomorrow when there was more light, but I knew I wouldn't likely have another chance like this to find Hawke. Not without someone asking more questions than I had answers for.

Just as I was ready to turn back.. I saw him. Sitting before a roaring fire, a staff with a blade on the end—a naginata I remembered—was Garret Hawke. He was one of the few men I could accept with facial hair and his hair seemed to swoop over his forehead in a way that looked like he was about to drop the hottest mixtape in Thedas. My heart totally skipped a beat but I worked to keep my face cleared of any emotion or excitement meeting him caused in me. He was, after all, one of my favorite characters of the Dragon Age universe after Alistair. And that naginata told me he was a mage. Sarcastic mage Hawke is best Hawke.

I crossed my fingers behind my back. "You're Hawke, aren't you?" Somehow I managed to sound uninterested. I sounded so cool.

I wasn't freaking out on the inside, noo.

Hawke looked up at me blankly, eyes inspecting my form carefully and a single brow arching as he answered. "Depends on who is asking, I suppose."

A slightly diplomatic response, but there was something in his eyes that got my hopes up.

"My name is Rosalind Cousland."

I watched his brows raise as recognition flared in his blue eyes.

"I wish to have a word with you. If you would join me?"

He stood and my mouth suddenly went dry when I realized just how tall and broad he was. I would have to crane my neck just to look at him! It didn't hurt that his muscles were quite impressive for a mage.

His lips quirked with a smirk—he knew I was impressed. "Lead on, my lady."

.

 **Author Note:** A slightly longer chapter this time as well! I just want to start shoving all my chapters out.. Heheh. Hope you enjoyed! (I've basically decided I don't care if people don't review anymore. I just want to post my crap.)

Jane


	8. VII: The Foolishly Brave King

Chapter Eight

"Loghain, my decision is final. I will stand by the Grey Wardens in this assault."

"You risk too much, Cailan! The darkspawn horde is too dangerous for you to be playing hero on the front lines."

"If that's the case, perhaps we should wait for the Orlesian forces to join us, after all."

Duncan, Alistair, Adrien and I took our places behind the table and I cringed at his words. 'Orlesian' was probably not the best word to be saying before the war veteran. He had the largest bone to pick with anything carrying an Orlesian label.

"I must repeat my protest to your fool notion that we need the Orlesians to defend ourselves!"

Yep. Very much against Orlesian. Too soon. If I had to chose the exact moment Loghain thought to betray his king, it was now.

"It is not a 'fool notion'. Our arguments with the Orlesians are a thing of the past... and you will remember who is king."

My mind thought of Lotherine, how I had to remind him that if you pull rank, you are certainly not what you call yourself. You are not respected and know it, even if its only subconsciously.

"How fortunate Maric did not live to see his son ready to hand Ferelden over to those who enslaved us for a century!"

"Then our current forces will have to suffice, won't they? Duncan, are your men ready for battle?" Cailan turned back to Duncan.

"They are, your Majesty."

Cailan's eyes slid over to me, eyeing my form before glancing over Alistair and my brother. "And these are the ones from Highever that I met yesterday? I understand congratulations are in order."

I bowed my head, speaking for my brother and Alistair. "Thank you, your Majesty."

"Every Grey Warden is needed now. You should be honored to join their ranks." He offered me a kind smile, while Loghain scowled at him.

"Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan. We must attend to reality," Loghain snapped.

"Fine," Cailan snapped like the child I suspected he was. "Speak your strategy. The Grey Wardens and I draw the darkspawn into charging our lines and then..?" Cailan leaned against the map on the table, looking over it.

"You will alert the tower to light the beacon, signaling my men to charge from cover."

"To flank the darkspawn," Cailan quickly added, cutting him off. "I remember. This is the Tower of Ishal in the ruins, yes? Who shall light this beacon?"

"I have a few men stationed there. It's not a dangerous task, but it is vital," Loghain said, looking rather sure of himself. I scowl, knowing just how dangerous it would be. We will nearly die, hoping Flemeth comes to rescue us as a dragon as an ogre awaits us at the top of the tower.

"Then we should send our best," Cailan decides, looking up at the three of us. "Send the new Grey Wardens to make sure it's done."

I took a deep breath before replying, feeling like my brother and Alistair wished me to be our voice. "We thank you for the honor, your majesty. We will do our best."

"You rely on these Grey Wardens too much. Is that truly wise?"

I look at the man from under my lashes. He was going to make our lives hell in the coming months, my eyes darting over at Duncan. I would have to put all my faith in this man to ensure the King's survival. I would not destroy Alistair's happiness just to see this kingdom thrive. Alistair deserved to decide his destiny.

"Enough of your conspiracy theories, Loghain. Grey Wardens battle the Blight no matter where they are from."

There couldn't have been a truer phrase than what he'd just said. Under all that childishness was a man that could become a great king yet.

With a lot of world experience, that is.

"Your Majesty," Duncan calls, speaking up for the first time in this meeting. "You should consider the possibility of the Archdemon appearing."

I glanced over at Duncan, shaking my head a little. The Archdemon couldn't possibly appear, even with the things I heard in my head when I subjected myself to the taint.

"There have been no signs of any dragons in the Wilds," Loghain reports.

Cailan looked back at my superior officer. "Isn't that what your men are here for, Duncan?" As if it were as simple as that.

"I.. yes, your Majesty."

A mage steps forward, stating his opinion. "Your Majesty, the tower and it's beacon are unnecessary. We Circle—"

"We will not trust any lives to your spells mage!" The chantry woman quickly cuts him off, glowering at him with her old face. Her wrinkles could probably terrify the darkspawn. We should just put her on the front lines.. "Save them for the darkspawn!"

"Enough!" Loghain demanded, glaring at the two. "This plan will suffice. The Grey Wardens will light the beacon."

"Thank you, Loghain," Cailan smiled. "I cannot wait for that glorious moment! The Grey Wardens battle beside the king of Ferelden to stem the tide of evil!"

He sounded as if he was going to write his own ballad.

Loghain turned away from him.. To hide his glower from Cailan, so that he would not suspect the man of treason before he could fulfill his dark plans. "Yes, Cailan. A glorious moment for us all."

I looked over at Duncan, hoping he can hear the treason in his voice just as I do. He looks at me from the corner of his eyes and grimaces.

.

Duncan takes us back to the warden camp, standing before the bonfire as he gives us our orders. "You heard the plan. The three of you will go to the Tower of Ishal and ensure the beacon is lit."

"What?" Alistair asked, unable to help himself. "I won't be in the battle?"

"As you heard, it was by the king's personal request. If the beacon is not lit, Teyrn Loghain's men will not know when the charge."

I snorted quietly, Duncan giving me a look.

"So he needs three Grey Wardens standing up there holding the torch, just in case, right?"

Duncan verbally smacks Alistair down, causing my mind to drift just a bit. I knew the tower was probably the safest place for us to survive this massacre so I wasn't going to challenge it.

Alistair's voice brought me back to awareness, blinking as I heard his words.

"Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no."

My laughter is sudden and totally uncalled for, hands slapping over my face as I laugh, going so far as to slap my leg. Which Adrien caught.

"Did you just slap your leg?"

I quickly straightened myself out, clearing my throat even as giggles left me. "No," I declared, glancing at Alistair from the corner of my eyes before erupting into laughter once more. He grinned happily at me, pleased he could make me laugh. "I think I'd like to see that," I tell him, watching as he faces me entirely.

"For you, _maybe._ But it has to be a pretty dress."

Duncan lets out a grumble.

.


	9. VIII: The Visit

We were going to die. It was that thought that made my eyes burn as I defended my hound, my brother and my.. Alistair. The three of them, my boys, lay in a heap behind me. My arrows had long ago run out, my blades in the body of the ogre.

I should have never come here to light that torch—I knew what was going to happen. Even if we lit the torch, Loghain would still betray Cailan, and we would tempt fate with killing us.

The darkspawn never stopped. Wave after wave, they attacked me, never truly landing any blow that might be fatal, as if they were testing me.

Raw magic flowed through me, the only weapon I had against them any longer. I had barricaded my boys behind a thick wall of ice—leaving only myself as their opponent.

Magic was an extremely draining substance if you are not used to using it, I found quickly. And the one lyrium vial I had looted from a darkspawn was already drained and the vial shattered; I knew I wouldn't last long.

All I had left in me was one more blast. Fire crackled in my hands, the heat filling the room as I quickly set all the darkspawn blaze, my scream somehow audible over the tortured calls of darkspawn. "FLEMETH, I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!"

I could feel myself crumpling to the floor as my knees hit the ground, more darkspawn moving into the top of the tower, eyeing me with hungry eyes. I could feel the Archdemon watching me through them, knowing they would soon drag me down to the depths of the deep roads to meet my fate, my Maker.

I could see a dragon flying in the distance, relief filling me when I knew it wasn't the Archdemon. I almost didn't feel it when an arrow sank into the muscle between my shoulder and chest, knocking me back. My eyes slowly closed—my boys would be safe. I didn't need to worry about them anymore.

They would survive, even if I didn't.

My eyes slid closed over my tired eyes and I drifted.

.

"Lillian."

I was being called, but somehow it was strange that I wasn't being called 'Rosalind'. I had become so used to the name that it seemed second nature now to answer to it.

"Our time is limited, Lillian."

I took a breath, blinking awake as I realized how easy it was to breath. I slowly pulled myself upright, grimacing at the soreness of my body. I looked around me, staring up at the blue haired man that was sitting on the edge of the bed, his slender fingers carefully pushing my hair back. I took a moment to see my surroundings. I was in Morrigan's room inside the shack they called a home. I could see her in the corner of the room, sitting in a comfortable looking chair as she read a book. I was going to call out to her until I realized she was frozen in place, not taking a single breath.

I looked up at the man, head tilting. "I have paused the flow of time here in order to speak to you." I nodded slowly, looking up at him. "You came very close to capture, or worse, death, Lillian."

I bit my lip. "I knew we would nearly die from the venture into the tower."

He nodded, hand on my head almost lovingly as he pet my hair like I needed to be calmed. "I must tell you how dangerous this world has become to you. If I had known, I would have waited for you to come to this life later in your training."

My head shook lightly, not managing to displace his hand. "This place is violent, but... I know it. The story line, the background, the rules. It doesn't make it dangerous to me."

He looked as if I was a sweet and naive child, smiling sadly down at me, his azure eyes looking at me knowingly. "You received a vision of the 'Archdemon', a tainted Old God. You understood it."

I didn't know how he could know of this, lips thinning.

"It has the potential to to give you a 'true death'. If allowed, it can taint your soul. It will make you unable to move on, to be trapped... Apart of this darkspawn you fight. A queen of the damned."

I paled and he placed his hand on my cheek, warming the suddenly chilled flesh. "The only way you will not be trapped here.. Is if you, yourself, end the Archdemon. It will cause your soul to devour it, purify it... And move on to your next life." He gave me a knowing look. "I know you care for the knight, Lillian. And while those feelings can strengthen you, do not allow it to overshadow your purpose. The only way to ensure his happiness, the happiness of your brother and any friend you make along the way, is to put an end to this Blight personally. Do you understand?"

I let out a shuddering sigh, looking up at him sadly. "Yes."

He offered me an equally sad smile before pulling himself off the bed, looking over at the woman in the corner with a raised brow. He glanced back at me, pushing back his long blue hair. "You changed things, my dear. You should know that, while you will not meet with him for some time, your words helped Duncan save the king from the angel of death."

I slowly smiled up at the man, quietly thanking him for his news.

"Be careful of the dark creatures. You carry with you the light of what they call an Old God here—something they lust after. They seek to taint you. Be thankful you did not take more than the smallest sip to join your Warden brethren." He smiled simply at me before he turned to the door, pausing as he opened it. He looked over his shoulder at me, my angel of death filled with melancholy. "I offer you advice in your endeavors. If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them. If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected."

And with that advice, he slipped through the door and Morrigan turned a page in her book, eyes flicking up quickly to see me sitting up in bed. She jumped as if it had startled her, throwing her book behind her as she moved to my side.

"Ah!" she called, looking me over. "Your eyes finally open. Mother shall be pleased." She looked as if she was trying to act calm but I could see through the carefully constructed facade and the dark circles under her eyes. I had been out for some time, then.

"Morrigan," I sighed, drawing a blanket to cover my underclothes. "Your mother rescued me. My companions.. Did they.. are they—"

"Mother," she cut me off. "Managed to save you and your companions, though 'twas a close call. What is important is that you all live." Despite her blank face, I could see the way her eyes creased at the corners. Deep down, she really was a soft girl, just wanting a friend. And maybe Adrien.

"The man who was supposed to answer your signal quit the field. The darkspawn won your battle. Those he abandoned were massacred. Your friends.. are not taking it well."

I nod slowly. "Yes, as I knew. I knew he would betray us."

Morrigan looked at me closely, as if I was a puzzle she could not figure out. "You knew he would abandon your cause, yet you still fought your way to light the signal?"

I let out a sigh, nodding. "Call me strange, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Even if I know the ending will be the same."

"And how, pray tell, do you know the ending?" She looked extremely interested, head tilting at me.

I felt a bit more free around her—must be because we both had similar childhoods though I was never as trapped as she. "The same way I know that you will be joining me soon and that we shall become friends."

Her brows furrowed at this—and why should she believe me? She had never truly left the Wilds before, always returning to her mother in the end.

I smiled kindly at her, shaking my head. "Do not worry that I am mad. Soon you shall see I speak the truth. Though my knowledge should be kept between you and I, hmm?" I grinned mischievously, "The boys are not prepared to know how much I truly know, y'see. As you said, 'women do not frighten like little boys', yes?"

She slowly nodded her head. "I do not know if you speak truth or tell fanciful stories, but I suppose I will learn soon enough. How do you feel, Rosalind?

I grimaced up at her. "Like I haven't had anything to drink in years."

She nods slowly. "I understand you overexerted yourself before Mother reached you. 'Tis usual for one who has never truly dabbed in the arts to overestimate their own limits. Should I truly travel with you, you will have much to learn to ensure you are not a danger from any creature of the Fade." She nods to herself as if that were now set in stone before looking me over. "Mother wished to see you when you awoke."

"To ask that I take you with me, no doubt."

She purses her lips, looking at me as if she is not sure if she should trust me. "I do not know," she declares. "Mother rarely tells me her plans."

"Thank you for helping me, Morrigan."

"I... You are welcome, though Mother did most of the work. I am no healer."

"Even so," I reply, slowly pulling myself up and donning my surprisingly clean leathers and plate of the Wardens. "I will go see my companions and your mother then."

"I will stay... And make something to eat."

I nodded to her before ducking out of the room and making my way out of the shack. Somehow I knew everyone would be outside.

Opening the door, I saw my brother and Alistair sitting around a fire, both of them looking worse for wear as Flemeth seemed to be grinding up some herbs.

"See?" I blinked over at her as she gained their attention. "Here is your fellow Grey Warden. You worry to much, young men."

"Sister!" Adrien called, quickly moving over to throw his arms around me as Alistair looked on with a relieved sigh.

"Rose," he breathed quietly. "You're alive."

I wrapped an arm around Adrien's back, holding the other out to Alistair. It was strange, me initiating any contact, but I knew he needed a hug. He didn't need convincing, giving Adrien a look before moving over to me. Adrien's arms occupying my neck, Alistair snaked his around my waist, bending to place his head on my shoulder.

"Aw, a touching picture."

Annnd it was ruined. I patted the two of them on the back before pulling back, glancing over at Flemeth. "We were having a moment."

"That you ruined," Alistair grumbled. He looked down at me, fingers on my cheek to get my attention. "I thought you were dead for sure."

Adrien flicked me on the forehead, a scowl on his face. "You're never to worry us like that again, little sister."

I narrowed my eyes at the two of them, lips deeply etched into my countenance as I frown at them. "Who was it that passed out first, leaving me to protect you, hmmmm?"

Adrien quickly pointed at Alistair.

"Who took a hit that was meant for someone else!" Alistair quickly retaliated, glaring at Adrien.

"Oh, I could have handled it!"

I shook my head as they argued like little boys. I reached up and tugged on both of their ears, making them yelp. They stilled when they saw the tears in my eyes, threatening to fall. I really was a crybaby.

"I'm not going to leave either of you alone in this. Okay?"

I realized it wasn't entirely true.. Since my angel of death had decreed it, I would have to be the one to destroy the Archdemon. I couldn't take the chance of being trapped here and become an Archdemon. One of the primary goals of the darkspawn is to find an Old God.. and taint them. If I was to assume I was extremely similar...

I could become the most powerful and the most dangerous threat to all of Thedas.

Adrien looked relieved at my promise, while Alistair let his eyes drop to the ground as if he would be overcome by emotion as well. My hands moved from their ears, smoothing over their cheeks. I forced a smile for them, intent on keeping my darkness to myself. After a moment I grew embarrassed by my show of affection, retracting my hands.

Adrien became serious, lips thinning. "Duncan, the Grey Wardens, the king.. They are all dead," he reported.

I glanced behind me at where Flemeth worked diligently, but also listened to us closely. I wouldn't speak of it here. "I know," I said instead, nodding. "I was told when I awoke."

Alistair let out a breath of air and I could see him letting his worries overwhelm him. "Everyone is dead.. If it weren't for Morrigan's mother, we would all be dead on top of that tower."

"Do not talk about me as if I am not present, lad," Flemeth quickly snipped over her work.

He looked over, a bashful look on his face. "I didn't mean.. But what do we call you? You never told us your name."

"Names are pretty, but useless. The Chasind folk call me Flemeth. I suppose it will do."

I was glad I kept my mouth shut—I didn't need to give her any idea of what I knew, especially since we would be seeing her again to 'kill' her. Freaking Voldemort lady, using horicruxes to keep herself alive.

"The Flemeth? From the legends? Daveth was right—you're the Witch of the Wilds, aren't you?" Alistair asked. A little tactlessly.

"And what does that mean? I know a bit of magic and it served you well, has it not?"

Leave it to me to clean up people's messes! Yay.

"We thank you for your timely rescue and for healing us from the brink of death, Flemeth," I quickly add, giving the boys a look to act respectful and grateful. "We will need to plan where to go from here.. There will be great consequences that follow us from this battle."

Flemeth eyes me carefully as if she's seeing something in me she hadn't noticed for the first time. She looks over at the men, eyeing them carefully. "She speaks truth, Wardens. It would be wise to follow this woman's counsel for the Blight you will undoubtedly face."

Adrien sets a hand on my shoulder, nodding as he looks down at me. "I have long since learned that my little sister got all the brains." He rubs his chin for a moment and I could see that mischievous look in his eyes. "At least I got all the looks."

He got a well placed elbow to the gut before I looked back to Flemeth.

"It has always been the Grey Warden's duty to unite the lands against the Blight. But somehow," her eyes narrow as she stares at me, "I can see that you are fully aware of your duties."

I nodded slowly before glancing behind me. "We will take the treaties and call upon the aid that was promised to us. Build our army to face and end the Blight." I look up at Flemeth, wondering if it right to ask her. "I ask you for your blessing, Flemeth."

She gives me a harsh laugh, suspicion flickering in those eyes. "There is a smart lass, perhaps too smart for your own good."

Morrigan exited their home, moving to her mother's side. "The stew it bubbling, Mother dear. Shall we have three guests for the eve or none?"

She glanced over at me, brow raising as if in challenge of what I had told her earlier.

"The Grey Wardens are leaving shortly, girl. And you will be joining them."

"Such a shame—What?" She looks at her mother like she had just thrown her out to the cold then to me. I tried not to give her a 'I told you so' look. (But if it was on my face, I took no responsibility for it.)

"You heard me, girl! Last I looked, you had ears!" She gives another harsh laugh.

"Thank you for your kindness, Flemeth, but if Morrigan does not wish to come with us.. I would rather not drag her all over Ferelden."

"Her magic will be useful," Flemeth said, ignoring that it should be her daughter's choice. "Even better, she knows the Wilds and how to get past the horde."

"Have I no say in this?" Morrigan questioned.

"You have been itching to get out of the Wilds for years. Here is your chance. As for you, Wardens, consider this repayment for your lives."

I glanced over at my fellow wardens, the drastically different reactions clear as day on their expressions. Alistair was obviously displeased about having the scantily clad woman come with us, while Adrien was extremely pleased over the arrangement.

He quickly spoke up, "Very well! We will take her along as we no other choice in the matter..." He was definitely giving me the 'can we keep her' eyes. I rolled my orbs back at him though I was just a little pleased deep down. Despite having to watch over the two of them, I did find that I enjoyed Morrigan's awkward company.

He glared down Alistair as soon as he opened his mouth to nay-say, effectively shutting him up.

Adrien felt.. very strongly about this.

I let out a soft sigh. Oy vey.

.

 **Author's Note:** 4k in one day! Woo. I decided the short chapter wasn't enough. Please enjoy! (Also, thanks for the review!~)


	10. IX: Ginger Followers and Warden Business

We moved swiftly through the Wilds with Morrigan showing the way, each of us taking extra care to move around the horde without instigating a large battle. I went so far as to make Morrigan swing around them more than she thought necessary—for my sake. I did not know how alluring my soul would be to the darkspawn, or from what distance they would be able to sense me.

I made us rest before we came to the bridge on the imperial highway, staying just out of sight from it behind a cluster of trees. It felt like it had been ages ago since I last fought and couldn't say I was looking forward to doing so. Absently, I wondered how skilled I was in persuading people to see things my way. I supposed I would see soon enough.

I unsheathed and resheathed my blades a few times, testing how quickly I could draw them before finally letting them fall at my sides. Alistair, noticing my odd behavior, pulled himself up from the stump on the ground before strolling to my side and leaning against my tree.

"Rosalind.." he began with a careful tone in his voice. Like he was walking on eggshells around me - something that I found I hated.

"I'm fiiine, Alistair," I said, quickly cutting him off before he can voice his concerns.

He raises a brow. "Are you really? You look as though you're mentally preparing yourself for a fight you don't want to face."

I glanced up at him, just a little uncomfortable he could see right through me. "Maybe I am. Lothering is North of Ostagar. There will most likely be many soldiers there who either escaped with their lives or deserted. Soldiers who will know our faces." I looked towards where I knew the bridge to be. "Also, I'm pretty sure there's highwaymen waiting for us and people like that piss me off."

He put his large hand on my head, ruffling my hair which promptly had me squealing as I tried to smack his hand away. He looked pleased at the reaction he pulled from me, giving me a large grin. "If there are, we'll deal with them. If it wasn't just highwaymen that you were foretelling, I'd say you are starting to sound like you know what's going to happen," he winked. He had meant it to be humorous, but it was a little too close to the mark, making me uncomfortable.

Titan decided at that moment to stand up from where he was laying next to me and press his flank against my leg. As if he was trying to ease the unrest I felt. I smoothed my hand over his coarse fur, a small smile curling my lips.

Adrien looked up from his conversation with Morrigan. "You know, you might be onto something, Alistair. She does seem a little more 'all-knowing' than strictly necessary from a little sister."

Morrigan looked over, eyeing me curiously. Thankfully, however, she didn't say a thing about me telling her she would join us. Damn, I'm not good at pretending I don't know anything.

I looked upwards innocently, pulling on the most innocent look I could muster. "Hmm, I wonder."

Adrien narrowed his eyes at me. "She knows something."

My small smile evolved into a smirk as I lifted a shoulder in a lazy shrug. "I must keep my sources private. You understand." I bit my lip, trying to look mildly perplexed. "But you know, now that you mention it.. I think I dreamed about the highwaymen. Maybe I can see a bit of the future?"

I pulled on my knowledge of the Inquisition, remembering how Leliana had once mentioned something about someone 'charming' people and foretelling the future. It could be possible in the world. Maybe.

"I heard of people who can do that at the Orlesian court, though I think the majority of them are charlatans." They all eyed me suspiciously as I pushed off the tree and bounced on the balls of my feet before setting off down the road. "Let's go see if I'm a charlatan!" I called over my shoulder. Maybe if I acted like this, offhandedly mentioned things and they came true.. They'd see me as a true 'seer'. Even if I was mostly lying. It would help to stop a lot of meaningless stress.

They followed me, allowing me to lead them onto the bridge, highwaymen hanging about, sitting on the edges, eating a meal in small groups and others counting the spoils they had gained from robbing others.

Not a word spoken and yet they were already pissing me off. I glanced behind me, raising my brows at my party and giving them my best 'I told you so' look before turning back to the robbers. One man in particular walked up, meeting me. While he had a certain charm to his face, I could tell as soon as he opened his mouth I would take particular pleasure in shutting him the hell up.

"Wake up, gentlemen! More travelers to attend to. I'd guess the pretty one is the leader." He put his hands on his hips, looking at me like he expected me to fall over myself at his mysteriousness and dreamy eyes. I could have gagged.

"Err.. They don't look much like them others. Uh.. Maybe we should just let these ones pass..." A man said as he moved to his superior's side, obviously the muscle to his brains. He was large and just a bit stupid looking, though he had said the smartest thing yet.

The arrogant one looked at him like he was offended. "Nonsense." He turned his bright smile back to me, winking. "Greetings, travelers!"

"Mistake number one," Adrien muttered from the back.

"Preying on those fleeing the darkspawn," Alistair ground out, his sense of justice just as strong as I recalled.

"They are fools to get in our way. I say teach them a lesson," Morrigan quipped.

"Now is that any way to greet someone? Tsk, tsk. A simple ten silvers and you're free to move on," the highwayman boss said, shaking his head at our lack of manners.

I looked at him unimpressed. "Toll collectors then?"

"Indeed! For the upkeep of the Imperial Highway. It's a bit of a mess, isn't it?"

"A liar and a thief. Probably should have loosed my arrow as soon as we rounded the bend," I sighed, reaching up to pinch my brow. "Titan?" I called as I dropped my hands to my sides. My hound gave a happy bark, awaiting my command. I pointed to the man, voice dripping with disdain. "For opportunist extortion of innocent civilians that are fleeing with what little they can carry.. Disable."

Titan gave a rumbling growl in his chest before he propelled himself through the air as if he were a plane taking off on the runway. Such a majestic dog.

.

I stood before a group of very naked men with only their small clothes. Before us was a pile of leathers, stolen goods, weapons and coin. I didn't want to kill them.. No, just make them feel the same kind of hopelessness their victims might have felt. Alistair and Adrien went about binding their hands behind their backs, every once and awhile looking up at each other to share a look about how evil I was, no doubt.

They couldn't deny this was both justice and mercy while Morrigan's lesson had been taught and looked rather pleased to see the men at such a disadvantage. Who says you can't please everyone?

The lot of them were yelling in indignation of our treatment of them, but I wasn't bothered whatsoever. I was extremely confident in my decision and no amount of them yelling would change that. The damage to their egos and pride would be so great that I doubted they would ever forget my face.

I bent over them, hands settling on my hips. "You will run through Lothering with only the skin on your backs. Time to feel a little bit of humility, hmm?" I glanced over at Morrigan, offering a small smile. "We'll gather up their gear and sell it in the town. After all, it will help to fund the war efforts, yes?"

She nodded, looking rather pleased. "'Tis likely they came upon it from unclean ways besides."

"Indeed."

Adrien and Alistair finishing, we managed to get them to run for their sad lives before gathering up their gear and supplies. Most of the stolen goods would be given to the Chantry—perhaps they could return them to where they belonged before Lothering was to be evacuated.

.

"Ahh, Lothering. Pretty as a painting."

Adrien looked over at Alistair, amused. "Remember when Fergus brought us here a few years ago?"

"And you were propositioned to by a tavern wench.. That wasn't a tavern wench?"

Adrien's face burst into flames, quickly looking over at Morrigan before looking away, entirely embarrassed. He glared darkly at Alistair, "I told you never to speak of that!"

Alistair looked more amused than he had in days, grin widening. "You really can't blame me for the feelings you invoke in those of the same sex."

Adrien's eyes turned devious as he dropped his arm over Alistair's shoulders. "Are you trying to tell me something, Ali? I've never seen you like that, but there's no other man I trust more than you.."

Alistair made loud sputtering and gasping noises as he quickly shoved away from Adrien, wide eyes finding me as I tried to stifle my giggles. "Rose! I am not like that—you know I'm not like that, right?" He looked at me like my opinion was the only thing that mattered. As if me thinking he was gay would kill him inside.

Finally gaining control of my giggles, I gave him a serious look. "I will accept you as my brother, Alistair," I said dryly. My straight face only lasted for a moment before I bounced, resituating my heavy pack and ignoring his scandalized expression. "We should talk about where we plan to go after this," I state, amused smile pulling on my lips as I slid over to Adrien. In the pecking order that was forming, he was my second, and Alistair my third. Though, Adrien and I were really just joint leaders in the end. Especially since I need him to.. Carry on after I was gone.

The thought sobered me quickly, my expression sliding off my face. Luckily, they would think it was because I thought hard on where we would go from here.

I already knew where we were going: the Broken Circle. We would need the mages to free Connor to gain Arl Eamon's support. It would be odd to see him and have no real reason to dislike him. He did not harm Alistair's childhood because of his jealous wife. It did not mean he was not capable of it. I wouldn't let him make a pawn out of the ginger warden I vowed as I glanced over at him, lips curling softly at the sight of him sulking.

.

They had thought I was mad when I informed them Sten would be joining us. Crazier still when I managed to talk the old Chantry woman into giving me the key. He was a murderer—one that would repay his debt to society by battling the Blight. What they didn't realize was that my soul had basically set the difficulty on the hardest setting possible and we were going to need every ounce of help that we could get.

I only prayed, as we moved towards the tavern, that Leliana's having seen me in a vision would help to cement my 'visions' to the group. That they would take my warnings seriously.

We reached the door to the tavern and I paused with my fingers wrapped around the handle. I looked behind me—a large hound with war markings, three armored people in Grey Warden gear (not many had noticed the colors yet, instead calling us knights), a large Qunari who we'd barely gotten plate big enough to fit him, and a scantily clad woman who's shirt's neckline plunged to her navel.

"We're going to cause a scene," I mutter to myself as I shook my head and turn back to the task at hand. "Be alert, friends." It was all the warning I could give them before opening the door.

I, of course, was the one whom Loghain's men called out to.

"Well, look what we have here, men. I think we've just been blessed."

"Uh-oh. Loghain's men," Alistair remarked as Titan whined.

"This won't end well," Adrien sighed.

Loghain's commander turned his head as his second spoke, eyes narrowing at me. "Didn't we spend all morning asking about a woman with this very description? And everyone said they hadn't seen her?"

I took a moment to glance down at myself. I did admit, my long red hair did sent me apart, but I didn't think it would be to this extent. Why didn't they ask about Alistair's features? He was a ginger—we are a dying breed, in and out of video games. Or even Adrien? He was the spitting image of our mother with his dark hair and bright green eyes. But no, they have to pick on the redheaded step child, the one who couldn't stand in the sun for long periods of time. I grumbled under my breath, looking up at the men as I caught a flash of blue eyes and red hair in the corner of the room. Leliana.

I swear, I was going to round up every ginger in all of Thedas.

"It seems we were lied to," the commander stated, looking just a bit more intimidating than before.

Leliana strode across the room with purpose, eyes kind as they looked to me. "Gentlemen, surely there is no need for trouble. These are no doubt simply more poor souls seeking refuge."

"They are more than that!" the soldier insisted, eyes burning as he glared at me. "Now stay out of our way, Sister. You protect these traitors, you'll get same as them," he threatened.

I let out a soft sigh. "Nothing we say can prove our innocence to you. The outcome remains the same, even if Loghain uses his power to shame the only order who can end the Blight."

"Enough talk!" the commander demanded. "Take the Wardens into custody. Kill the sister and anyone else that gets in your way."

The commander's second quickly nods before reaching for me as he pulled out a set of irons, no doubt intending to clap me in them.

"The hell you will!" Adrien roared, yanking me back as Alistair quickly maneuvered in front of me, shield already raised in my defense as he bashed the man away.

Blades drawn, the tavern quickly erupted into screams from both bards and patrons as everyone drew to the walls, away from the weapons and bloodshed. Adrien and Alistair did a quick number on the men before us, the Commander moving to the back to escape most of the fighting—he had a terrified look on his face. After all, we did have three very pissed off males and a Qunari. You'd think he would have thought that one through.

With a soft _twing_ , I quickly drew an arrow back, striking a man on the stairs who was aiming at Alistair. He was our tank, obviously I needed to cover him.

Maybe I was a little pissed as well, my aim just a bit better than usual as the arrow buried itself into his knee.

I gave a sudden bark of laughter, no doubt freaking out our enemies and my companions—I'm sure I sounded crazy as my arrows found their marks in all of the men's knees, each time making me laugh just a little more when they fell to one knee.

Haha, Skyrim jokes.

"Alright!" The commander called, letting his weapon drop to the ground to call a cease fire. "You've won. We surrender."

I slowly replaced my bow over my shoulder, walking deliberately over one of the bodies of his men. "Carry a message to your leader. Tell him the Grey Wardens know the truth." I narrowed my eyes at him, giving him the dirtiest look I could muster. "Tell him he dug his grave the day he crossed the Couslands," I growled.

"I'll tell him! Right away—now. Thank you!"

The man was more pleased about leaving with his life, the last few men that hadn't been killed moving as fast as they could—arrows sticking out of their knees.

I turned to Leliana, who was obviously pleased we'd spared some of them. "I apologize for interfering," she says, looking us over. "I could not just sit by and not help."

I smile kindly to her, bowing just a bit. "Thank you for your assistance sister. I am sorry it had to end in so much bloodshed."

Her eyes drifted just a bit to my brother, causing my brow to raise as I quickly recruited her to our cause.

After all, you couldn't have too many gingers. Especially when she would become a vital part of the Inquisition.

I forced myself not to be distracted by the most emotionally gripping installation of the Dragon Age world. Especially by the thoughts of a certain Egg-Head that I hated as much as I loved. (Part of me wants to make scrambled eggs and the other half just wants to make him love me. And not betray me.)

I tried not to get misty-eyed as I accepted Leliana's help and made sure we had all the supplies from the tavern-keeper as we needed for the journey.

.

I was unrolling my bedroll when Adrien joined me in my corner of the camp, standing over me as I combed the ground for rocks and sticks that always seemed to appear _after_ I laid down. I huffed as I worked, finally getting annoyed with the eyes I felt boring into me. I sat back and craned my neck to look up at him, giving him a dirty look.

" _Yes_? Do you need something, brother dearest?" I might have snapped a little. It had been a long day—and a long walk to where we decided to set up camp and we were still a day and a half away from the Circle's tower.

Adrien looked perfectly amused at my attitude, shaking his head. "You don't realize it, but your bursts of emotion are actually quite amazing to behold, baby sister."

I glower at him for a moment before rational thinking sinks in—he had lived at least half of his life with a sister that had the emotional capacity of a block of wood. I quickly shook the thoughts of Plank from Ed, Edd, and Eddy, cursing the strange cartoons from my childhood.

"Sorry," I murmured quietly, letting my eyes fall from him. I just felt dirty and gross from all the walking. I didn't need to take it out on anyone.

A leather bound tome that I somehow recognized was pushed into my sight, causing me to blink up at my brother as I slowly reached out for it.

It was perhaps the only thing the person I was before.. before I got here, that is, had an attachment to. It was so strong that I could vividly recall long nights lit by candles and the smell of ink as she wrote in this book. I reached out for it hesitantly, eyes wide as I look up at Adrien.

"How..?"

"How did I have your diary when I couldn't have possibly walked back to the family suite to grab it?" Adrien raised his hand, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Well, you see... I had taken it from your room while you were sleeping—before Howe attacked. I had planned to read it, get my dose of seeing my sister's real feelings that she didn't hide from a book." He let out a sigh, shaking his head. "I never read it. I'm sorry I stole it."

I shook my head as I held it to my chest. "I'm not. This might be the only time I'm thankful that you're a sneaky brother." This would be more useful than he knew. Memories were fuzzy and this would help with painting a picture of the Cousland family, one I longed to know more of.

He rolled his eyes. "'Sneaky brother'. I was going more for devilishly handsome, or savior of all things I care for."

My brow arched. "I don't think so."

He shakes his head at me like I'm a lost cause, turning to leave. He pauses, however, slowly turning back to me. He lowered himself on his hunches, pushing my hair away to look at my forehead. He stared intently at it, frowning.

"..Can I help you with something?"

"No, simply curious." He lets my hair fall back before carefully pushing it behind my ear. "I spoke to the tranquil mage, before the battle. He... You acted like that before the attack." His lips thinned in thought, green eyes flickering between the two of mine. His hand dropped onto my shoulder, squeezing it. "We lost our parents that day.. And the pain will stay with me until I die. But I take comfort in the fact that even if I lost my mother and father... My sister was returned to me."

Tears stung my eyes and I tried to blink them away quickly. Adrien smiled sadly, hand moving from my shoulder to my cheek.

"Crybaby and all."

"Shut up, jerk."

"Shhh, I'm glad to see my words have such an effect on you." He wraps his arm around me, pressing my head against his shoulder.

I smacked him with my diary.

"Shhhh."

Alistair paused as he made his way to the river, eyes blinking at our sibling bonding time. I looked over Adrien's shoulder, no doubt giving him a glimpse of my tear streaked face.

"Did he make you cry?"

I sputtered, crying a little more at the love I could feel—these two were my knights.

Adrien quickly shooed Alistair away—the man giving me a look that said he wanted to talk before we left camp. Anxiety filled me just a bit.

Once I was calm again I sat on my bedroll, my fingers stroking the tome that would tell me of the life before I appeared. Adrien settled at my side, sharp eyes watching me carefully.

"Sister."

I looked up at him, blinking.

"What you said today, in the tavern, to Loghain's man. It's been bugging me."

I tilted my head, remembering the words I'd uttered. I'd allowed my emotions to get the better of me when I thought of what Loghain would hear of us. I wanted him to know that I knew what he was doing. To wonder if the wardens were several steps ahead of him. I knew sparing the commander was the right move, knew that now he would know Wardens had survived the battle. What men Loghain could send our way would, not to mention the bounty on our heads, would only rise as the end grew near. The attention he showered upon us would distract him from the border where other wardens would poor into Ferelden. I looked over at my armor that I had carefully taken care of. I wasn't ready to give it up. The cosplayer inside of me screamed at the idea of wearing plain leathers of a mercenary.

Adrien spoke—I'd almost forgotten his presence, so lost in my thoughts. "'Crossed the Couslands', you said. Was that for dramatic effect... Or do you know something, little sister?"

Adrien waited for my answer patiently as I thought of just how much I could tell him and how much I would need to water down into a half truth. I considered for a moment longer than I should have before nodding.

"As the queen's father, Teyrn Mac Tir has named himself Regent. He has awarded Rendon Howe the Arlship of Denerim... And named him Teyrn of Highever."

My brother's eyes narrowed as he let out a curse. "And you know this.. How?"

I breathed out through my nose loudly. "If I told you, you would not believe me."

"Is it the same way you knew about the bandits on the king's highway? About Sten? Hell, I'm pretty sure you knew about Leliana and Morrigan from the easy way you converse with them. Like you know exactly what you need to say. It's like.. you've gained a silver tongue when I wasn't looking." His head tilts as he eyes me. "And yet, you still act somewhat clumsy with me and Alistair."

"Sounds like you put a lot of thought into this, big brother."

"I admit, it has been bothering me."

I smirked up at him, "Wishing you knew what to say to get them to like you?"

He shrugged a single shoulder, his expression saying he obviously wouldn't ignore advice if offered.

"I'll give you a few hints, dearest brother. Morrigan knows nothing of the real world outside of the Wilds. She has been out of it before, but she acts as if usual customs that you and I know as easily as breathing are foreign to her. If you wish to know her on a more intimate level, you will need to tread carefully and slowly." I purse my lips a little as I think of Leliana. "Leliana is like a flower. Pretty and smells nice, but she could be poisonous. Her life has not been simple, but she is one of the sweetest souls I know of. I can tell you she will have a very important part to play in Thedas, even after the Blight is over."

Adrien looked like he was thinking carefully, lips pursing. "Leliana said she had a vision from the Maker. Do you think what you know... Is it similar to that?"

"Then.." My brows furrowed. "You believe me?"

He rolled his eyes. "You don't remember this, but you always did seem to know _everything_. It used to be an infuriating gift.. But it went away when your personality dulled. I've almost.. missed it. And, you have to admit, it certainly comes in handy. You give us warning before we're potentially attacked, know what to say. I'm pretty sure this makes you the best candidate to lead us.. Especially since Alistair and I are only your senior as wardens by a few minutes."

I snort, head shaking. "I suppose that's why you've let me take the lead so often, hmm?"

He shrugs. "Maybe I like smacking my best friend over the head when I catch him looking at my sister's backside."

I gaped at him. He shrugged again nonchalantly. "Ros, you honestly can't say you didn't know."

I sputtered, no doubt closely resembling a fish as my mouth opened and closed.

"You're blushing."

"Shut up!" I used the large leather book to smack his arm.

"Hey! Those are precious memories you're hitting me with!"

I grumbled, lips creasing downwards. He was right though, with all the information I knew about Grey Wardens, I was basically the senior member of the order between the three of us. I let out a breath as I calmed myself before carefully putting my book away into my pack. I held out my hand to Adrien, letting him help me stand as I helped him to stand.

"You reminded me about something. I need to talk to the both of you before we sleep. Give you two some information before we keep moving. Would you grab him? We'll talk a little ways out of camp—Warden secrets and all."

Adrien nodded silently as he turned away from me, over to the fire where Alistair had reappeared, sitting on a stump of a log and looking into the flames. It reminded me of Duncan a few nights before Ostagar went to hell. He'd done the same thing.

Even if he didn't have the same tie to Duncan this time.. I could feel him quietly mourning.

I turned away from him as Adrien clapped him on his shoulder, grabbing my quiver and bow on the off chance I saw any wildlife. I moved quietly out of the camp, somehow knowing without a doubt that no one had even noticed my disappearance.

A sad thought occurred to me that I would have to someday use that skill to leave them.

.

 **Author's Note:** Thanks for your reviews, favoriting, and following! I'm really glad you've enjoyed this thus far. To show my appreciation, a long chapter once more! (Chapter was previously about 1,700 words. Now it's nearly five thousand! Love me.) We're getting somewhere my friends! We have a full party now! (Not that we didn't before, but you know. And it won't really be full until we get Wynne with her heals. Those heals.)

Have a great week! (Yay for daylight savings!)

Jane


	11. X: The Truth of Wardens

**Author's Note:** This chapter is dedicated to _DarkDust27_ who has left me a review on all of the chapters! (I am so happy.)

.

I found a tree a ways from the camp, making sure I could still see the faint light of the fire in the distance. It wouldn't do to get lost out here, though it was a strange feeling being here. If I had been in my old world I would have been too afraid to go off on my own. Now, I felt confident in my abilities. If I absolutely needed to, I knew I could protect myself, knew I could hunt any wildlife that lingered to survive in the wilderness.

I probably should have been a Dalish elf. But I was alright with being a shemlen too. Thinking of elves of course turned my thoughts to Solas, remembering my heartbreak from that love story. Two days, all I could do was watch sad music videos about it and read fan fiction that would ease the pain of knowing that in the end, he would maim me—try to stop me from stopping him—rather than think of a different way.

That love was a lieeeee. I still and always would say that Alistair is the best man to come out of the entire series. I thought Adrien was kind of awesome, too, but he didn't count because he's not there if you decide to be a female.

I slid down the tree's trunk as I tried to clear my mind of Solas, the Inquisitor, Alistair and Adrien. I crossed my legs, resting my bow across my knees as I tried to meditate some before my warden fellows appeared. I needed to remember everything that the game had taught me of the wardens so that I could better explain to them.

I had gotten most of my thoughts gathered when they appeared before me, the crunching of leaves giving them away. I opened one eye, watching their boots as they stopped before me. I slowly opened both of my eyes, nodding my head to the ground as I held out my hand. "Sit. There's a bit we must discuss before sleep is to be had tonight." I yawned as if punctuating my sentence.

Alistair gave me one of his smiles, brows raising as he lowered himself. "Sounds like your body is rejecting that notion."

Adrien sat down as well, the three of us making a triangle. A trifecta. It seemed to symbolize all the different choices we could make. Between the three of us, we would mold Ferelden's future.

And I intended to hear their opinions on the matter. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that conversation yet, however.

"Yes, well, I'm sure it's used to disappointment by this time," I grinned before spear-heading the main issue. "The other Grey Wardens are most likely dead." Even if I knew Duncan to be _probably_ alive, it was something I would wait to disclose. "We said we would build an army, even though we are new Wardens without a senior member among us."

They nodded, following me and perhaps a bit confused why I was stating the obvious.

"We must use all of the resources we have to survive, yes?"

They nodded once more, Adrien looking like he might have just figured out where I am going with this.

"I won't.. keep my knowledge to myself. Because becoming a Warden... It's a terrifying experience. And the sacrifice we have made to save this world—because if we do not stop it in the coming months—it will cover all of Thedas."

.

They were quiet, taking it all in as I explained to them the perils of being a Grey Warden, the Calling, the dreams, the appetite increase.

It was the shortened life span that upset them. They both looked physically ill, Alistair moving to stand if my hand hadn't latched onto his elbow of its own accord. I quickly let go, but the damage had been done and he was staring at me, directing his anger towards me.

Adrien silently fumed though he didn't say anything.

In a quiet voice I repeated words that had once been told to me from a computer monitor. "It's not how you die that's important. It's how you live."

I could feel them calm at my words, Adrien reaching over to take my hand, squeezing it lightly. Alistair almost looked like he was pouting at the display of his brotherly love. I smiled softly, offering my other hand to Alistair. He took it without hesitation, causing my heart to palpitate.

I cleared my throat, eyes directed upwards, spying the starry sky through the branches. With no light pollution here the sky was a sight to behold. I tried to get back on task. "There may be a solution in the coming years to stop the Calling, but that's one of the few things I don't really know."

Alistair's brow raised, eyes flickering over to my brother's. He gave him the smallest nod.

"You two realize.. I know what you're doing, right?"

They both looked at me innocently. I groaned, letting go of their hands. "That you think you two can have a silent conversation over my head is annoying. And rude. Like if you decided to start speaking in Dwarvish or Elven."

They both laughed quietly, eyes softening as they looked at me. I let out a sigh.

"You should both be prepared for the metaphorical and literal bloodbath we're walking into."

It get their attention, laughter dying as they both straightened. "Bloodbath?" Adrien questioned, lips thinning the way they did when he wondered if he would be able to keep me out of it but knowing he couldn't.

He had accepted I was basically the leader. None of that would be allowed.

Alistair had a similar look on his face.

"Every place we go, searching for our allies, will have some kind of issue we will have to solve for them before they decide to pledge any troops to our cause. They all need to be reminded that their ancestors pledged support—which is seriously disappointing. It's a Blight. Everyone needs to work together or we're all going to die." I took a breath, pulling myself out of my rant. "Anyways. I will be making a list for us, on the off chance I forget or you forget or.. something." _If I have to leave._

It was going to get harder as time went on. The Archdemon.. I shivered. I could still feel its lust for me, as if I was its only people. If the darkspawn got me.. Would I be turned into a dragon looking demon as well?

Alistair and Adrien shared another look, pulling me out of my thoughts. Probably wondering if I was going crazy or something. I forced a smile, fingers wrapping around my sides. "It's cold." I pulled myself up and off the ground, putting my bow over my shoulder. "I'll tell you more in the morning before we go what we'll be facing at the Circle's Tower."

I start walking back, knowing they were on my heels. "Try to get some sleep tonight. Long nights are head of us. Nightmares tend to be worse when you join during a Blight, apparently."

I looked back at them, forcing a smile. Tonight.. would be a very long night. The first night since waking up in Flemeth's hut. My dreams would not be kind.

.

My screams woke me. Sleeping in a tent for the first time in my life, my experience had not been kind. I had somehow twisted myself into my bedroll, my arms trapped as I tried desperately to move, to flail my limbs if I had to.

"Rosalind! I bruise easily! Shhhh, _Rose!"_

His desperate calling was like a bucket of water. Clarity filtered into my mind and tent with the tiniest of rays of light as the sun barely rose. My eyes slowly blinked open, finding amber eyes holding me in place carefully. I let out a breath, relief sinking through me as I tried to push the nightmare away from me. Not that I could really call it a nightmare. Nightmares were fiction, your subconscious coming up with scenarios so that you might be mentally prepared should it ever occur.

An Archdemon spending the night trying to learn more about my location, probing my mind as it promises what it will do to me in _detail_ for not doing exactly as it says?

Alistair's arms slowly receded from me as I calmed, arms going limp under his strong hands. He looked as if he were trying to decide whether to ask me now or wait until later, his cheeks flushing as it dawned on him that he was in my tent. Alone. With my bare leg just barely peeking out of my bedroll.

"I, uh," he quickly cleared his throat, uncomfortable, rearranging himself next to me, legs pulled up in an easy position to escape with. His hand rested near me, propping himself up as he pointedly looked away from my form.

I wanted to ease his nervousness, reaching out for him before I realized what I was doing. My fingers wrapped around his wrist, thumb carefully rubbing the delicate skin of the inside of his wrist. "Thank you," I murmured softly.

His smile looked sad. He probably didn't think he'd done much. He glanced over at me, deciding he would wait a moment before escaping. My fear stricken eyes kept him immobile.

"Nightmares?" He questioned, already knowing.

I nodded slowly, moving my blankets to cover all of me before rolling towards him. "You don't have to say anything," I told him. "I just.. want to try to rest for a moment next to someone. I.. Didn't sleep at all. Not really." I closed my eyes as I breathed in his silent strength, hoping I might use it as a crutch.

"Of course, Rose. We can spare a few hours," he said softly and I felt careful fingers sliding into my hair, gently pushing it back as my grip on his wrist tightened.

"Thank you, Alistair," I mumbled, already slipping away into a gentler sleep. This time, I did not encounter the Archdemon as I nestled into the warmth of my bedroll and blankets, a comfortable weight wrapped around me as Alistair slowly played with my hair. The tension left me and I slumbered.


	12. XI: Rejection, Compulsion, Abominations

I didn't want to wake up, I decided even as my body slowly awoke. I had never felt more comfortable, warm, and safe. I let out a soft groan before slowly opening my eyes.. To see Alistair's peacefully sleeping face next to me, his warm breath fanning my face.

Obviously I was still dreaming. Sure, Alistair had been in my tent when I'd managed to get real sleep, but sleeping next to me after I fall asleep is the oldest cliché in the world! And extremely cute.

My dream couldn't be more realistic either as I slowly reached out a hand to gently trace his features with my finger. Maybe this was my subconscious's way of telling me that this would be better than being wrapped up in my bedroll. One of his hands were wrapped around my waist, keeping me secured closely to him, while the other had itself under my head, fingers curled into my hair. I could feel his heat rolling off of him in waves and smell the subtle scent of a rose.

Dream or no, I was going to take advantage of this. I inched closer, nestling my head under his chin as I threw a leg over his hip. His arms tightened around me and I slowly let my eyes close, content to sleep the day away if allowed.

Which wouldn't happen, despite my best attempt.

No, Adrien had to shove his big head into my tent, letting out the loudest gasp I'd ever heard from him at seeing his best friend wrapped around his favorite sister.

Guess it was real.

" _Alistair!"_ he hissed from the opening. Seemed he was going to try to get his attention without waking me.

I made an effort to breathe deeply as if I was still asleep, eyes closed and face pressed against Alistair's very impressive chest. A rumble came from it as he woke and I felt movement as he lifted his head to look over at Adrien. I had expected fumbling, a few muttered curses as he tried to untangle himself from me. I was pleasantly surprised when his arm tightened around me, fingers pressing against my hip in a way that nearly burnt me.

"She's sleeping," he whispered quietly, his voice taking a sharp edge.

" _I can see that! What are_ you _doing next to her!?"_

"Moral support."

I could almost see Adrien's face, turning blue as he opened and closed his mouth repeatedly.

"Her dreams are worse than ours, Adrien."

That seemed to still the tension in my little tent, Adrien's voice still quiet but less shrill. "You don't even like her."

 _Oh._ The pain that hit me almost made me forget my deep breathing, a chill sliding down my back. There was no question in his voice, no hesitation. Adrien _knew_ for a _fact_ that Alistair didn't care for me. There was a hint of confusion, as if he couldn't figure out why he would want to comfort me.

And now, I couldn't either. I had seen the way the two interact, how they work together. I had sometimes wondered who really were siblings—Adrien and I or he and Alistair. That just drove it home. I continued breathing deeply as I tried to roll with the punches. At least... It made everything easier. If I didn't become involved with Alistair, I wouldn't worry about leaving him behind like I would eventually have to.

Rationalizing it didn't lessen the pain as my heart tried to displace my stomach.

I felt Alistair shrug, could feel every movement his body made. The soft tapping of his finger on my hip, the fingers in my hair, the rumble of his chest.

Instead of distilling heat in me like it had a few moments ago, it left me cold.

"Let her sleep a bit more. She looked like she was on death's doorstep earlier."

I could hear as Adrien gripped the flap and then the sound of movement.

"Out, Alistair," he commanded.

A sigh blew my hair back before Alistair slowly detached himself from me. He rolled out from under my leg, quietly creeping out of my tent.

It left me feeling empty.

I felt Adrien's glance on me for a moment longer before he slipped away, no doubt moving around the camp to get everyone to start moving. I slowly pulled myself up after a few moments of hearing the flap of my tent close, arms wrapping around my chilled limbs.

The pain hurt, but I couldn't show it on my face. As soon as I walked out there, I would have to move quickly and with a cheerful look on my face as if I hadn't just been sucker punched in the gut. I couldn't let my bruised ego be shown.

I looked over, seeing my diary laying in the corner. I smoothed my fingers over the familiar leather longingly even though I knew I wasn't going to be able to read any of it yet. I wasn't sure what would await me inside, my memories fuzzy and faint.

Besides, I didn't need to see what I thought might be inside.

Didn't need to see Alistair's disdain for me through cold memories. My hands quickly smoothed over my arms as I tried to combat the goose flesh that had risen there. The warmth I had enjoyed only minutes ago was now gone and I supposed I would need to get over it. Alistair was the only one here with the ability to tempt my heart—it was a blessing in disguise that he wasn't interested.

Again, rationalizing didn't help the pain. But it did help me move to get ready for the day as I reached for my armor.

.

The Tower was a magnificent sight from across the lake. Surrounded with water and the full moon as a backdrop, it was.. pretty as a painting. I scowled, looking over at Alistair. The man had me forget the words my brother said with a glance, made me feel unwelcomed things with a few words and a well placed joke.

I'd explained to them the dangers we were walking into, no one questioning my words. Morrigan had started to train me at my behest, and I moved my tent to her corner of the camp. Morrigan was good for conversation and distraction as she taught me with a patience I hadn't known she possessed. It didn't hurt she kept Alistair away, though he'd started giving me long glances that I wasn't sure if I cared for in the end.

Especially when he had the power to hurt me.

I clapped my hands loudly, pulling myself from my thoughts and startling my companions. "We'll get some rest at the inn before making the trek across the lake," I announced.

Adrien gave me a dubious look. "And how, dearest sister, are we going to afford a stay in an inn?"

I gave him a calculating look. "Do you _really_ want to know?" I waggled my brows at him, forcing the good humor into my eyes.

He seemed to second guess his inquiry, lips twisting. He no doubt thought the worst and paled a little.

"I thought not," I smiled happily, turning on my heel and leaving them outside to settle things with the innkeeper. I patted my boot, feeling the weight of the coin purse pressing against my calf. That morning I'd been greeted by my angel, the robed man sitting next to me elegantly. He'd given me the purse of sovereigns with the instructions to use the money well. He'd explained that I would need all the aid he could offer if I was to survive this world and seemed extremely upset this was my first trial. As if he blamed himself. He offered me one more piece of sage advice as he seemed to slowly fade from sight, his voice quiet and wise.

" _He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign."_

It had given me something to ponder over, remembering the King who had thrown himself into harm's way for glory that would throw all of his country into a civil war. He was indeed foolish. Were as my band of companions and I would ultimately save this country—without any help from the King or King Regent Loghain had proclaimed himself to be.

I quickly paid for a night at the in for two rooms- one for the females and one for the men. I returned outside, offering Adrien his key. "You, Alistair, and Sten will be in this room while the ladies and I take the other. Your descriptions have been given to the innkeeper and dinner has been ordered. Fill your bellies," I gave Adrien and Alistair a long look, "and get as much sleep as you can. The ordeal tomorrow will put you through your paces."

They nodded at me slowly before I quickly gathered up the ladies and made our way inside. Leliana stayed in the tavern entertaining with her lovely voice while Morrigan and I took our meal in our room as I tried to understand everything I could before the battles tomorrow.

"The art of taking on another creature's form requires you to study that creature. Learn how it thinks, how it feels," Morrigan explained around a piece of bread.

I nodded, listening to her lecture as I practiced holding the frost magic in my fingers. She eyed me curiously, brows slanting.

"Your talent is quite raw."

"Thanks," I replied dryly.

"'Tis not an insult. You weave a spell that is steady and powerful. There is a lack of control the larger it becomes, however."

We'd learned that one the hard way when I'd channeled the magic, fed it the energy to enlarge it. It was extremely tiring and had quickly gotten away from me, thrashing under my fingers to escape. I might have ended up with a partially singed eyebrow.

"Indeed, I am rather impressed by how quickly you learn."

"Morrigan, if I didn't know better I'd think you were paying me a compliment." It was harder to multitask—talk to her while I held my magic in a concentrated orb.

"Oh, yes, 'tis quite a surprise. Work to earn my praise, Rosalind."

I laughed quietly, enjoying her humor. She and Alistair were like complete opposites. I was somewhat surprised that they did not attract but seemed to shove the other as far away as possible.

She eyed me carefully, watching my delicate control. "..There is something else I could begin instructing you on."

I looked up at her, brow raising and head tilting as was my fashion to do.

She continued, "'Tis a skill I believe every woman should know the basics of. One would assume you knew of such things unless they spent the time we have with your chatter and prattling on."

I snorted at her, eyes rolling. "Are you saying I mindlessly speak to fill the silence?"

"When it suits you. Or when that fool Alistair comes too close."

I cursed inwardly, damning her golden eyes and they way they saw right through me.

"Allow me to ask you something. As a Grey Warden, do you not believe that to indulge in love is to indulge in delusion?"

I raised a brow at her question. "Why 'as a Grey Warden'? Why label me a such?"

"I merely mean for your duty. Is a Grey Warden's role not about sacrifice?"

I nod slowly, thinking over her words. It did make sense, even though I knew she would most likely change her mind on that point eventually.

"Morrigan, if there was ever a situation where one of us must die in order to end the Blight.. I would not allow an attachment to stop me from doing my duty—if that is what you mean."

She nods, accepting my answer. "I am glad to see you continue to be so practical. 'Tis a fine thing though I find myself full of unease at the thought of you succumbing in order to end the Blight."

She looked as if she was confused by the feeling.

We spent the rest of the evening with her explaining how I was to use my femininely wiles to ensnare a man and to get my way should I need. She had explained that her mother had taught her these things—and the truth of men. After watching me fumble around Alistair and Sten, she'd taken it upon herself to see to my proper education should I ever find myself in a situation I did not have control of.

It was the oddest thing I have ever heard Morrigan utter. _Ever._

And I had heard her, through the game, ask to have sex with my lover. (To save the world, but seriously. Part of me would rather die then let her conceive a child with the man I loved. )

..Not that I currently loved someone that didn't care for me. I was not that desperate.

A thought occurred to me as we were finally getting to bed. I was taking the floor while Morrigan and Leli shared the bed.

"Are you still awake, Morrigan?" I asked softly, waiting. There was a rustling of fabric before her annoyed response sounded.

"It's not as if I could sleep with you asking me pointless questions, yes?"

I took that as a yes. "I just wanted to tell you that I'll try to find it."

A pause. "Find what?"

"That grimoire you want from the Tower."

There was another long pause and I had almost thought she'd fallen asleep when she replied, sounding incredulous, "Rosalind, you are likely more of a witch than I... Thank you."

.

We set out for the Tower early the next morning after ensuring everyone got adequate rest. It was going to take all of us to clear the tower to reach the man at the top—the only one that would be able to end this madness and ensure all of the mages were not executed.

Good thing Anders is somewhere in the basement, just hanging out and away from all the blood mages.

I had half of mind to smack the templar guarding the boat to the tower out of the way and just _take_ it, but I knew that Adrien and Alistair certainly wouldn't approve. Adrien would probably laugh his arse off while Alistair stood there, arms folding with that disappointed look on his face that would just make me.. Sick.

So I was civil.

"Oh, yeah? I have papers that say I'm the queen of Antiva! What do you say to that?"

"Queens are supposed to be women," Alistair helpfully supplied behind me.

"Don't question royalty!" the templar shouted.

I closed my eyes, his voice grating at my nerves. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself before glaring him down from my considerably shorter height.

I strange feeling came over me when I spoke, as if a part of me was seeping out of my skin. "Your superiors will not take kindly to you delaying us, templar."

His eyes grew just a bit wide and glassy before he quickly blinked, nodding his head repeatedly. "My superiors would not take kindly to me delaying you, Grey Warden. A thousand apologies. Come along, then."

It was a complete change in comparison to his earlier behavior, the snarky and pissy-ness nowhere to be seen. Almost like.. I jedi-mind controlled him.

I glanced behind me as I moved towards the boat, eyes finding Morrigan. Her's were narrowed at me, expression pinched. I swallowed before my hand placed itself in someone else's without a thought to who it belonged to. It helped me into the boat, hands steadying me as I knocked into them, out of it at what I thought I just did.

"Easy, Rose."

My body went rigid when I realized I was in Alistair's arms, eyes flickering up to him for the first time since he'd eased my nightmare-induced fears.

There were dark circles under his eyes.

"Sorry," I mumbled, quickly sliding away from him and into a seat as everyone found themselves in the boat as well.

I absently slid my fingers into the top of the water before remembering something about the mages dumping potions into the water's surface. I quickly pulled them out, looking over the tips to ensure nothing had happened to them.

I had worried for nothing, droplets sliding down my fingers innocently.

.

The Tower was more hectic than I thought it would be. Templars ran behind us as the man I recognized as Greagoir issued orders to one of his men. He looked haggard, stressed, as if the abominations had only just began trying to force everyone to join him in his use of blood magic. It was strange that this happened now and not sooner. I supposed it would stick true to the game as well as it could. It only seemed right.

"The door is barred," Alistair noticed, speaking quietly. "Are they keeping people out or in?"

The templar before Greagoir ran to fulfill his duty, the older man's eyes falling on me. "And now we wait," he said looking more defeated than hopeful.

"Ser Greagoir," I greeted him. "I am the Grey Warden Rosalind. I have come to call upon the Circle to honor an ancient treaty to end the Blight that threatens our world." I have to hold up my hand to still the rejection on the tip of his tongue. I supposed it was something about my superiority that had him pausing to listen to me until I was finished. "I am aware of that which ails the Circle." I took a deep breath, allowing myself to feel the darkness that had crept into a place that was meant to be secure, safe. It was almost seductive, the song it sang for me to join the others. "I can feel the power of the blood mages. Open the doors to allow us to cleanse it of the taint as is our right. I will bring First Enchanter Irving to you. Once he is made known to be alive and well, you shall call off the right to annulment you await. Do you accept?"

He looked utterly flabbergasted. I had known everything about the ongoings of the Circle, understood what I was walking into and who I needed to return with that would allow him to feel the tower was once more safe.

"..Yes. May the Maker watch over you.. I hope you know what you are doing."

"May the Maker watch over us all," Adrien responded.

I keep my face expressionless at the mention of a God I don't believe in. "I will gather supplies from your quartermaster before we continue on. It will not be but a few moments."

He nodded at me, eyes still watching me carefully before looking over at my companions as if they could explain what I just did.

"The Maker showed her in a dream."

There was Leliana, making me out to be a herald of the Maker.

"Maker's breath," Greagoir breathed.

I swear they were going to make me out to be some kind of oracle. Which wasn't a bad thing to be called at all... 'Oracle'...

.

Wynne was just as kind as I remembered her being from the one talk I had with her in Ostagar. She had told me of the Black City and I'd just let her keep talking. Somehow, her voice was calming. She'd always been like a mother-figure when I played this game and now... I had the stupidest wish to lay my head on her lap and let her pet my hair like I really was her daughter.

"Greagoir will not invoke the right of annulment so long as we return to him with the First Enchanter," I explained, looking over at the barrier she erected. "You will not allow me to go without you, I know. Come with me so that we can end this quickly and save the Tower, Wynne. Time is not on our side."

She had the same strange look on her face that Greagoir had worn, eyes flickering to my party. "Does she always know exactly what to say?"

I could feel them all nodding behind me.

"She's our spoiled princess," Adrien explained happily, smile firmly intact even as I elbowed him in the gut.

I rolled my eyes. "Come, we must be swift. Please release the barrier, I know it makes you weary. Please stay to the back and focus on healing, if you would."

She pursed her lips at me—obviously a little displeased about me: a young girl giving orders—before she quickly moves to the archway and releases the arcane magic that kept everything out.

I had thought I was prepared, but I was very much fooling myself.

I could feel it. I could feel the energy, the temptation of blood magic, wrapping around me and trying to get under my skin. It was begging me to use it, begging me.

I had to close my eyes and focus on my breathing as I pushed that side of myself away. I could not lose control—I did not know what effects blood magic could leave me with. Thoughts blazed through my mind, seeing the different evil mages I had ever come in contact with in my video game experiences across Thedas. Horrible, ugly things that bulged disgustingly.

It helped me gain control of myself, forcing a smile to Wynne who was watching me closely. "Alistair, take point. Titan—" he barked, "protect Wynne. Leliana, stay to the back with Morrigan and Wynne and provide cover. Adrien, Sten and I will flank. Let us travel into the belly of the beast, shall we?"

"I think we're going to it's brain, actually, sister."

"Adrien."

"Because you said we need to go to the top floor."

"Adrien."

"That would be the brain if the Tower was a creature, is all I'm saying."

I groaned.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Nearly four thousand words! (Love me.) Hope you enjoyed the read! I'll hammer out more soon. Sorry if there are any errors, I'm sure I'll find them later.

JaneSwan.


	13. XII: The Broken Circle

**Author's Note:** Sorry, everyone! I usually wait until the end to talk to everyone, but I just wanted to **warn you** (maybe that will make people pause and read this) that I've taken a bit of creative license- something that is only possible within fanfiction. (Which is why we all love it, right?) So, even if its a little far fetched, stick with me. Because.. It's about to be fantastic. And so! Super long chapter for reading this! Enjoy, my friends!

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I was different. I knew I was already different because I was not truly Rosalind Cousland but Lillian Everett.. But this was something else entirely.

The desire demon I remembered from the game had before been entirely focused on her templar slave. She only wanted him. She didn't need anyone else in her parasite relationship and had wished to be left alone instead of attacked. In the game, it could have only gone one of two ways: let them go to God knows where or kill both of them for it was nearly impossible to kill the demon before the templar died from the area of effect damage.

But this one.. A cold chill had dropped down my spine as she turned those gold and unnatural eyes on me. A part of me knew she knew what I carried, just as the darkspawn sensed it.

She stood before me, trying to charm me with generic ideas that most would have fallen over themselves for. Children, no need to fight, peace. I could feel her exerting all her energy on me, the tempation rolling off of me and onto my companions. They were all charmed from the extent of the desire demon's power, going a little glassy eyed just like the templar slave.

The desire demon was upset. "Is there nothing I could offer you?" There was a desperate tone to her words, as if I was more than just a simple meal to her, a chance to feel mortal. Her words pulled at a memory, words a very old elf had mentioned once—would mention years from now to the herald of Andraste if he or she cared to listen to his lectures. Most were simply spirits in the fade until they were brought to our world, forced with a task by those who summoned them. It made them manifest in a way that was.. entirely different then who they really were.

Humanity—elves, humans, what have you—have the ability to destroy a spirit. Just as Justice became something else when it joined with Anders. Because he—the human—had changed the spirit with his own ideals and beliefs.

Or I could totally be confusing that heart breaker's words. He was worse than Sebastian. ("We'll have a chaste marriage in the eyes of the Maker." Yeaaah, no. Nope. Bioware has never gotten it right since Alistair.)

I don't know what made me hold up a hand, nearing the scantily clad demon. My gaze focused on the demon's golden eyes, feeling my connection to the Fade tingle under my fingertips. "You have been called here against your will, spirit," I murmured quietly. It's eyes widened just a bit and I felt some sort of odd connection between us. I closed my eyes as I felt heat building up in my chest, the warmth traveling to my outstretched arm. I opened my eyes, watching the desire demon's eyes water as its form become transparent. "..I remove from you humanity's bonds and expectations." I sucked in a deep breath as the veil thinned, opening to show the way into the Fade. "Return to your peaceful drifting, spirit."

A tear slipped from its face, dropping to the floor just as the desire demon no longer looked like one. It resembled a human despite its transparent consistency, words soft as it disappeared into the Fade.

" _Ma serannas. Ir tel'him, Uthenera."_

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My brush with the Fade made me hyper aware of everything—I could feel Wynne pulling on her magic to heal Alistair, Morrigan's magic changing her form, the blood mages drawing on the force to attack us. I was heady with the feeling, having to focus on my breathing more often than not. It drew looks from my companions from my lack of speaking as we scaled the tower. It was unlike me, but the heightened senses forced me to withdraw, becoming overly serious. We needed to get through this.. And I needed to ensure I faced the Sloth demon alone.

Once I had ensured the floor was cleared, I slowed my pace until I felt my brother's hand at my back, urging me forward. He peered down at me worriedly.

"What's wrong, Rosa?" His brow quirked upwards at me, and I quickly conveyed in my eyes that I needed to speak with him. "We will pause here for a moment. Rest yourselves," he called.

His voice, so full of authority, showed me just who he could have been had it been different. Teyrn Cousland, a force to be reckoned with. I was grateful that Fergus would survive with his wife and child. He would be the new Teyrn.. And Adrien could very well become Knight-Commander of the Grey Wardens.

As we hung back from our fellows, I eyed his profile. I could see it in his jaw and shoulders. He had the stance of a leader.

"Absolutely not."

And the temperament of a child.

I didn't even have to say anything for him to disagree. I grabbed his collar, yanking him down to my shorter height. "You haven't even allowed me to ask," I hissed into his ear.

"I don't have to," he explained, brow raising at my glare. "I can see it in your eyes you want to do something stupid."

"It's—Adrien. I have explained to you how this place would go, yes? Do you recall the Sloth demon?"

"Hmm.. I faintly recall.."

"This isn't a joking matter, brother. I must face him alone."

"I think not, little sister."

I took a deep breath, letting go of him as I released it with a sigh. "There is a possibility that you will be trapped in the Fade. And I will not. Should I kill him while you are trapped in the Fade.. You might not be able to return."

He looked affronted by the notion, lips twisting with displeasure. He looked over my head for a moment before nodding. I glanced behind me, catching Alistair staring. He looked frustrated, brows furrowing at our huddled figures. I ignored him, turning back to Adrien.

"I hate that you speak as if you know everything."

"..You have to admit that I probably know nearly everything."

His brow seemed to reach his hairline. "I am very pleased you said 'nearly' for there is something I doubt even you know, my little oracle sister."

I glared up at his attempt at a pet name. "Yes, yes, whatever. Do you agree, then?" I didn't have time to try to understand his words. What mattered was that we moved on and that I fought the Sloth alone.

"You are certain you will be unaffected by him? And we will be?"

"The desire demon from earlier.. It could not touch me. I don't understand what that means yet.. But no. It won't hurt me." My eyes darkened. "I will destroy it."

"Tone down the brooding, sister dearest. You'll give Sten a run for his money."

I pouted a little, folding my arms over my chest.

"I'll give you seven minutes. No more, no less."

"Thank you, brother."

"Don't make me regret this," he pouted, looking quite put out. He reached out, putting his large hand on my head and patting it. He ruined my braid, but I didn't care.

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Nothing could have prepared me for the smell. Rotted flesh, as if they had taken a person and thrown them against the wall.. and morphed them into something else. It reminded me of a movie I had once watched in the real world, using a gun to dissolve a person into.. a blob of flesh. It was entirely.. disgusting. Leliana gagged and I was right behind her, holding a brown gloved hand to my nose.

"I believe I will be sick," Morrigan announced. It meant we drew nearer. It wouldn't be long now and I was growing sick of seeing the charred remains of mages and templars.

I paused, fingers reaching for Alistair's pauldron. He stopped immediately when he felt my hand, looking at me from over his shoulder as he lowered himself slightly into a defensive position.

I could feel him.

I looked over at Adrien, nodding. He looked at if he might be sick at the thought of me going against the demon alone.

"We'll take a break here. Rosie will scout ahead." He gave me a hard look, conveying that he didn't approve but knew it was useless.

Alistair seemed fine with our little white lie and I slipped my hand from his shoulder. He patted me on the back as he moved around me, his voice soft. "Be safe."

I looked back at him as he walked towards my brother, murmuring my response, "I will."

I took a deep breath before I easily molded into the shadows, away from sight. I moved with purpose, stowing away my bow across my back as turned the corner and neared the door. The Sloth awaited.

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"Ahhh.."

I supposed stealthing was useless since it would see the opening door. I pulled myself from the shadows, eyeing the disfigured thing carefully as I stepped closer. He had been standing over Niall, no doubt eating his dreams and energy like the tormented thing it was. I could feel just how twisted it was, how lost it had found itself as a demon. It was not the desire demon. There would be no salvation for him but death.

"Oh look, a visitor." He turned to look at me, having no neck movement. His speech was slow, whispers underlying it as I felt his energy reach for me. "I'd entertain you, but too much effort involved."

My head tilted as I considered him, eyes narrowing. "You have become too tainted by the wishes of these mages to recall what you were before." I spoke quietly, the sloth's interest sparked. "I can only offer you a rest."

He looked.. confused, as if my words had hit something. He seemed to shudder, trying to shake off my strange words. "Are you not weary yourself? Do you not wish to join us? Leave everything behind.." His energy wrapped itself around me, searching for a way in and under my skin. He grunted when he found none. "Why do you fight?"

I held out my hand to the being, piercing through the cocoon he was trying to form around me. Words tumbled out of me, unaware of their origin as a connection of sorts was made between us. "In you is spirit and man, man twisting and coercing the weary spirit to do its bidding. I call into the being before me... I release you from your bonds..." I close my eyes, the air becoming cold. The energy that had wrapped around me seemed to freeze, the sound of shattering glass surrounding me. I slowly opened my eyes, finding the sloth demon's only visible eye staring at me vulnerably.

"I.. want to rest," he murmured to me weakly.

I drew in a breath, frost tinged. The pieces of glass rose from the ground, surrounding us. I watched as they turned towards the sloth demon almost as if by themselves.

I had never before been more aware of the power that lie dormant within me, slowly awakening. Absently, I wondered if I was the same as Fen'Harel but quickly dismissed the thought.

I made a small movement with my fingers, "Sleep." The shards of power made tangible all surged forward, piercing him rapidly. I watched as the blood seeped from the numerous wounds, his body slowly slumping over onto the ground near Niall. "Rest your weary head and be free," I whispered as I slowly made a fist. I felt the shards reach his heart, putting the beastly being to rest.

My knees hit the ground, sucking in deep breaths as the sense of calmness left me. The power I wielded shook me to my core, eyes pulled to the shaking hands that had held the strange strength. What was I? Really? Was I simply meant to have such a game changer like this? Was this why.. Was this how I could become a Archdemon?

My arms dropped at my side, suddenly dead weight as my head slowly falls back to stare at the vaulted ceiling. Everything felt.. so much realer to me than it had before. It felt less like a simple game I had to see through to the end.

A hand ghosted over my shoulder, pulling at my attention. I saw blue first—a river of blue hair. He murmured something softly, fingers pushing back my bloodied hair. "Lillian.. You cannot bend under this. This gift.. You have always had it."

He slowly helped me onto my feet, somehow filling me with a sense of ease and calm. The terror over everything that I could do, the possibility of becoming something horrible had overwhelmed me.

"..You truly are watching over me.. Aren't you?"

"I placed you here," was all he said before directing my attention to Niall. He was stirring. Somehow I had saved him by putting down the demon so quickly. A hand caressed my cheek, my eyes turning up to him once more. The blue depths watching me warmly. "I will always be with you, Lillian."

I took a breath—to speak, to thank him—but he was gone, the sense of calm he had brought with him resting over my shoulders. I let out the breath, mind clearing as I turned my attention back to Niall, lowering myself at his side. I reached for him, hands slowly wrapping around his head. I let out a breath as I felt that energy I held connect with him. I could feel him trying to return to his body, causing it to spasm softly. It had been some time since he had been banished to the Fade and his spirit no longer fit inside his body correctly.

One hand slipped down to his chest. Somehow, I knew his core—over his belly button—was how he was meant to return to his body. A few breaths and I was able to ease his soul back into his body, fingers drawing a shape over his navel before dragging them up to his chest and pressing against the center of it—sealing his spirit inside.

I was still hovering over his body when the doors were thrown open, Alistair and Adrien charging inside and stopping short when they saw the sloth's body lying in a puddle of its own blood and me hovering over a man.

I slowly withdrew from the connection I had formed with the man just as his eyes fluttered open and finding me above him.

"..Have I died?"

I slowly shook my head as I leaned away from him. It was strange. I should be beyond exhausted. A normal person would be tired. But I wasn't.

I was coming to realize.. I was not normal. Perhaps I had never been truly normal.

Wynne moved into the room, quickly taking everything into account before taking my place at Niall's side as I excused myself. I moved away from my party, looking at them in a different light. I was not like them—it was something I had always known, but I didn't think it would be to such an extreme. Was the knowledge I held not enough? I had to be this.. I didn't want to call myself Godly, but I might as well have been.

I was absently brushing myself off, my bloodstained armor glaring up at me, when arms wrapped around me tightly from behind.

" _Never_ again, Rosie." The words were hushed, whispered into my ear huskily. I blinked as the hard line of his armor pressed against my back, leaving no doubt in my mind who embraced me. I quickly wrote it off as worry for a childhood friend.

"It was something.. only I could do," I explained quietly. It was certain that Adrien had told him what I'd coerced him into accepting.

"I don't care."

I let out a breath, shaking my head. "Let go, please? We need to move on."

He released me as I had asked and I peered up at him from over my shoulder. I wish I hadn't, his amber eyes dark as they stared down at me with fury and worry and.. something I thought I read wrong.

After all, he didn't care about me in _that_ way. And he had not denied it.

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(And the next chapter, just because I love you guys.)

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"Ensure we retrieve the Litany," I reminded Wynne as she checked over him once more. "We will need it to ensure the mages they've taken to the tower do not succumb to the temptation."

I looked over my companions. They looked just a bit worse for wear, but I hoped they have fared better than they would have with me at their side, warning them and directing them. I liked to think I was useful.

We began moving steadily upwards after sending Niall down to Owen to wait with him until we returned. We did not get far until I felt it and recalled someone I had forgotten. How could I have forgotten my favorite Templar?

I held up my fist as we neared the door I knew would house Cullen, surrounded in a pink light. His prison. My company stopped behind me, each looking at me confused. "There is a man going mad from torture within. I do not wish to cause him pain with a large group. Remain here and I will do what I can to ease his mind."

Alistair looked as if he would argue but I quickly cut him off. "He would never harm me, nor can he! This is not like last time. He is scared, alone, and all his fellow templars have been murdered before his eyes. You will not argue with me on this, Alistair."

I could feel how badly it upset me that Cullen had to endure this and I know my companions could hear the emotion in my voice. Alistair mutely nodded, eyes worriedly staring at me. I shook my head at him before I opened the door and left them at the doorway, quickly crossing over the threshold.

He was there, pulling himself up from his kneeled prayer to the Maker. His face twisted in agony at my appearance, eyes similar to Alistair's in so much pain that I could have cried.

I had always liked Cullen through the games, so excited when I met him again in the second installment and ecstatic when he returned as a leading man in Inquisition. Looking at him, his closely cropped hair and bloodied uniform.. I wanted to save him. I _could_ save him.

"This trick again?" he questioned, "I know what you are—it won't work." He lowered himself back to his kneel, "I will stay strong!" His breathing was labored. He had been through so much all ready and I was going to have to ask him to wait longer.

I silently pulled a water skin from my pack, knowing he must have gone without for quite some time. I lowered myself to the ground, speaking softly. "Cullen," I started but was quickly cut off.

"Enough visions! If anything in you is human," he grunted, in pain. "Kill me now and stop this game!"

I started to push the water skin towards him and it caused an equally panicked response.

"Don't touch me! Stay away! Filthy blood mages, getting in my head! I will not break! I would rather die," he spat.

I hated seeing him—or anyone for that matter—like this. Delirious and tortured.. Magic twisted under my skin with a feverish need that I had to push down. I would murder Uldred.

"You're not going to die!" I shouted, his eyes suddenly snapping up and staring at me. My eyes softened slightly at his bewildered eyes. "I won't let you."

He rose, looking down at me. "Silence! I will not listen to anything you say. Now begone!" He stared at me long and hard, confused that I didn't disappear. "Still here? But that's always worked before."

I let out an angered breath before picking up the waterskin and pushing it through the barrier. Somehow it didn't harm me, falling away from my hand like water.. Just like the water of the lake. He let out a sharp gasp when he saw that I could invade his prison, moving away from me as if I had a disease. It frustrated me and I stepped into his cell, pressing the water skin into his hands.

"Poison?!" he questioned shrilly.

"Cullen, I swear to God that if you don't find a way to calm yourself and drink that water, I'm going to force it down your throat and you're not going to like my methods one bit," I growled, glaring up at him.

It probably wasn't the way to treat a man who's been starved and tortured but I was his savior here! I sure as hell didn't look like I was going to kill him!

My words somehow calmed him—perhaps it was my otherworldly cursing that had confused him—I was something that couldn't be an illusion or a demon if I entered so easily, right?

"D-Don't blame me.." he said quietly as he looked down at the very tangible water skin. "For being cautious.. The voices.. The images.."

"Shut up and drink. You can tell me after." I put my hands on my hips in a stereotypical female stance and it seemed to calm him even more. He did as I said, pulling the top from the water skin and draining its contents quickly. "Easy," I murmured, reaching out to touch his arm. "Slowly, or you're likely—"

He choked.

"—to start choking." I sighed quietly, mourning the loss of the water he'd spewed on the ground as soon as I'd touched him. I knew it was my fault, however, frowning. "Apologies, Cullen."

Once he stopped sputtering, he looked at me, "Did.. Did Greagoir send you? How? How did you get here?"

I looked at him dully, "I walked up the stairs."

"But there were so many—"

"Abominations? Yes, they are no more."

"Who.. who are you?"

I looked at him with a sad smile, "My name is Rosalind Cousland. I am a Grey Warden."

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I was afraid Uldred died far too quickly for the pain he had caused to the Circle. But I had ensured he had felt the extent of his injuries and justly tortured him just a little before wrenching his magic from him and allowing Leliana to shoot him in the chest with her bow. It seemed fitting he would become tranquil just before he died.

Irving saved thanks to Wynne's skill with the Litany, Alistair helped him down the many stairs while Adrien aided Cullen. I watched the backs of my companions as we moved through the tower faster than the progression we had moving upwards despite Cullen's psychological injuries and Irving's... oldness.

I listened quietly as Irving and Greagoir spoke, silently fuming as the older Templar put Cullen in his place. He was rightfully worried—I would be as well if I had been powerlessly subjected to torture and watched all my friends die before me.

Adrien joined into their conversation and I was fine with that. Had I been allowed to speak for the group, there was no telling how passive aggressive I might become. This entire situation just pissed me off.

Greagoir quickly excused himself.. But I wasn't going to let that be the end of it.

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(And the next one.)

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"Greagoir."

"While I am very grateful for what you have done for the Circle, there is much I must do now, Miss."

"If you were truly grateful, I believe you would offer me some of your time for doing what you had thought could not be accomplished. Do you not owe me that?"

"I—Yes. Indeed, I see your point."

He had folded quickly, no compulsion needed to make him see reason. Perhaps he would be more amendable than I thought. Either way, I would use whatever method in my arsenal to ensure I changed things for the better. And there was no other better time.

I offered him a diplomatic nod and we moved a ways from my party as they spoke with Wynne and Irving. Once out of earshot, I eyed him carefully. "You accept that I had prior knowledge of something I should have known nothing about, yes?"

He eyed me in return, frowning. "..Yes.."

I folded my arms before me, holding myself as a Teyrna would. "I know of the one held below, Anders. Caught for yet another escape attempt. He has remained there during this entire instance, yes?"

"Yes..."

"The man is on a great crossroads, sir. He requires a guide to ensure he will not lose himself to a path more convenient rather than one beneficial to the Chantry."

"And you are that guide?"

"Indeed."

"And I'm just to.. give him to you?" He sounded incredulous.

"Would you rather I invoke the Right of Conscription?"

"Ah.. That would cause quite a great deal of paperwork..."

"There is one more thing I require for the aid I have bestowed you."

His brows furrowed, glaring at me. "It is not as if you can just demand a payment—the Circle will aid you in this war—"

I held up my hand and somehow that silenced him. I suppose I look rather indomitable covered in blood as I was. "One of your Order, in particular, has been scarred by this event. He will carry these scars of a thing you should have prevented. You will relocate him to Kirkwall in a crucial time of its future.. The inevitable bloodshed he will be unable to prevent will be on your hands. Hundreds of deaths, Knight-Commander."

My words seemed to make headway with him as he bit his bottom lip in thought.

"You will send him with me to watch over Anders. Should Anders become a Grey Warden, and out of your jurisdiction, Cullen will be returned to you. He requires time away from this place which is so full of horrors to him." I took a breath, sealing Cullen's fate in my hands. "He has withstood torture that would break a lesser man." I glared at him, holding back myself from using compulsion. "You owe this to the man."

He nodded slowly and I knew I had won. I did not let the relief show in my visage.

.

Anders seemed to quickly find his place between Leliana and Wynne, falling into easy conversation with them. Cullen had a harder time adjusting in comparison, either keeping to himself or falling in step next to me. He was a quiet companion, but considerate and kind. He pushed shrubs and branches away before they could brush me. He listened quietly when I could no longer stand the silence and would murmur quietly in response.

We were resting from a long day of walking when I turned over to look at him as he leaned against a nearby tree.

"You realize everyone is going to think you are stuck up, right?"

He shrugged.

"You know I'm a mage technically, right?"

He shrugged once more.

"You know I'm going to smack you, right?" I threatened, already standing from where I had been sitting.

His lips twisted into a slight smile as he shrugged again. I took the four steps required to smack his arm.

He let out a quiet laugh, honey eyes peering into me. "You don't feel like a mage to me," he stated quietly. "Being around you.. makes me feel okay again."

I smiled sadly, patting the arm I had smacked lightly. "You'll get there one day, Cullen."

My mind got away from me for a moment, thinking of mages and Cullen. The future.. and lyrium. I quietly cursed, gripping his arm as I stared up at him intensely. "Lyrium—how much do you have? Will you need more?"

His eyes took on a harder look as he stared down at me, face drawn and bewildered. The smile he had carefully nurtured slipped from him, hand raising between us before it fell at his side. "Why is it you always seem to know everything?"

I shrug a shoulder in a lazy manner, "Some call me an Oracle, y'know," I tried to joke before I quickly shook my head. "The Chantry makes you addicted to it, I know. How much do you have? How long—"

"Do I have?" He cut me off, his large hand raising this time to rest atop my head, gauntlet fingers ruining my braid as he slid his fingers through my soft hair. "Enough for a time before I will have to return to the Tower."

It dawned on me. "That's why Greagoir let you leave. He knew you'd have to return." I cursed under my breath. "Damn the Chantry."

He hushed me, lips twisting downwards in a frown. He still believed in the Chantry.

"There are some things you shouldn't know, Miss Oracle."

I grimaced. "Because Templars are not meant to complain about their abuse? Is that in the Chant?"

He snorted, patting me. "Yes."

"Bull," I muttered. "I promised to take care of you. If you need lyrium, I'll find a way to get it for you."

He looked touched, carefully pulling his hand from the mess of my hair. "I.. Thank you, Rosalind."

It was probably the first time he had spoken my name. It made my heart just a bit lighter as I smiled up at him. "And next time you feel like patting me on the head, take off your stupid gauntlet."

"Yes, yes, Oracle."

I felt someone's eyes on us, and I turned my head, finding suspicious amber orbs watching us from afar. I tilted my head at Alistair, raising a brow. Adrien came into view as he said something to Alistair, a large grin on his face. He curiously looked over at what he was staring at, blinking over at me. He turned to pat Alistair on the back with a grimace.

.

My efforts to make Cullen and Alistair friends was useless it seemed. I had asked Cullen to take on Alistair as an apprentice—knowing he had the potential to use the abilities of a Templar. He's background story was different—instead of being sent to Eamon and the Chantry, he'd gone to the Couslands which gave him a loving home.

I absently wondered how I would be able to stop my passive aggressive feelings for Eamon's wife, Isolde, as I watched Cullen and Alistair bicker as they trained. She had forced him to live in the barn, but she hadn't had a single say in Alistair's upbringing this time. I still hated her. I knew she hadn't done anything to Alistair, but I didn't care. She was a horrible excuse for a human being..

Shouts drew me from my thoughts, the clatter of swords hitting the ground reaching my ears. They looked ready to get into a fist fight—at least they weren't going to run each other through with a sword. Tender mercies.

"Stop it, both of you!" I yelled, moving quickly to separate them. I could see the Templar was frustrated over how quickly Alistair took to the training.. But something about the way they had kept glancing over at me and then glaring at one another told me it was more than training annoyances.

Boys.

I shoved at both of their tunic-clad chests, pushing them away from one another. I tried not to think about how solid they had been against my fingers. Alistair grumbled under his breath while Cullen apologized quietly. Annoyed with their childishness, I turned away from them, stomping my way to the lake.

"Reflect on your actions!" I yelled over my shoulder.

Adrien was there, waiting for me.

"My sister is too adorable and predictable," he frowned as he eyed me.

I let out a large sigh, running my fingers over my face. Couldn't we all just get along? I lowered myself by the lake, sitting on a large stone. He soon joined me, bumping his leg against mine.

"Excuse me?"

"D'you know that even Sten has joined their bickering in defense of you when you're not around? Must be since you're the one that told him where his sword is. And Morrigan has even approached me— _me!_ —to ask for help from something that you retrieved for her."

I blinked at him blankly. "They are my friends. Are you saying I shouldn't be nice to them?"

He shook his head, arm dropping across my shoulders. "You have Cullen and Alistair training together somehow—and everyone knows they _hate_ each other! Sister, your powers are endless."

I tensed under the weight of his arm, peering up at him carefully. I didn't want him to see how his words had unnerved me. I had yet to find an end to my potential.. And no longer trained with Morrigan for fear she might realize something off as well.

"Did you have some helpful advice under there somewhere, brother?" I questioned him quietly, wondering if I would get a moment of my own. He pinched my cheek, drawing an annoyed look from me.

"Sister dearest. Sometimes, you need to take time for yourself."

"What did you think I was doing by coming here?"

He continued on like I hadn't spoken. "And you should chose one."

" _What?_ " I hissed. Because that was such a good idea!

"Cullen and Alistair will never get along, probably, but... They would be able to exist without fighting every time you're out of earshot if you just chose one. The suspense is killing everyone."

I shrugged his arm off me, glaring up at him. "I can't," I growled, shaking my head. I would die after the last battle. My own feelings aside.. It wouldn't be fair to make anyone live through that.

He raised a brow at me and then excused himself. His words stayed with me, however. Fights with our companions were breaking out because of me. If I was no longer here..

I let out a sad sigh. I saw no other alternative than the plan forming in my mind. All they needed was my knowledge. They didn't actually.. need me. I helped no one by remaining here.

I could travel west and meet the Grey Wardens. Duncan had sent the messenger before the battle. They had to be within Ferelden by now.

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 **Author's Note:** _(Continued)_ And so, a five thousand word chapter! (Well, really just three chapters in one, but yeah.) We'll be taking a bit of a big step away from canon for a chapter and then get back on track. (Because diverging can cause plenty of ripples.)

Elven translations:

Ma serannas- My thanks; thank you. (Or literally: me grateful.)

Ir tel'him- I am me again.

Uthenera- Waking sleep; immortal.


	14. XIII: Flight of the Rose

I sat in my tent, keen ears listening for the sounds of camp. The dying fire, the soft murmur of my companions as they chattered and then in turn excused themselves for sleep.

On my lap sat a thick tome, leather bound and delicately cared for. I had put off reading it all this time, afraid of its contents. I took a deep breath before cracking the spine, randomly opening it to an entry.

 _Papa and Mother have decided on my future. I am not bothered by it—it was to be expected as a daughter of the Teyrn of Highever. Adrien told me if things had been different in the last war, we would have been the ruling family of Ferelden but insisted I not mention it to a soul. He told me such ideas could be seen as treason._

 _I told Alistair anyways, since Papa made him my betrothed. If we are to be married one day, there should be no secrets between us.. Or so I thought. He slapped me and declared he could never marry a girl like me._

The passage held no anger, no feeling. The me before.. felt dull. Without life. The memory came back to me, along with several others of Alistair and myself. Our dysfunctional relationship and his repeated rejection of me.

I didn't expect the pain to be quite so... Much. The old memories sparked feelings, as if I had just watched a childhood movie and was just now realizing the deeper meaning of things. Rosalind before me was a doll. A doll that came to life and was hurting.

 _Adrien and Alistair continue to train me, however Alistair has become against it. He argues with Adrien over the possibility of telling our parents about my abilities. He said it would be no different if I was tranquil. Adrien had stared at me with such sad eyes before attacking Alistair._

 _I did not understand why he looked so pained. Would becoming tranquil hurt him so? Why would it harm him while my betrothed wished for it?_

Moisture dripped onto the page as I felt Adrien's pain for the first time. A hand slapped over my mouth, smothering the sounds that raked my chest with such pain. Alistair had wished me to be tranquil. Adrien's words hit me so much harder now than that night in my tent.

" _You don't even like her."_

I took a deep breath, wiping the tears away as I closed the book and tried to think. Memories that weren't quite mine were fuzzy.. But I remembered a time when Alistair had liked me. Memories that were tinged with emotion from the time before Rosalind had become a doll. Was seeing the emotion on my face, the change in how I acted and how I spoke what changed Alistair's opinion of me? I could see his face, young and boyish, with a look of disdain and hatred. And yet, when I found him in the large receiving room.. He was concerned for me. From that moment on, he'd shown me a different face.

I likened it to Odette and Derrek from Swan Princess and groaned. I had no life experience with relationships like this. I had always been a loner—I had never had so many friends as I did now.

And I was going to leave them! Maybe I was just resorting to old habits but.. They would do better without me. I was positive of it.

I reopened the book and found a bottle of ink and a slender quill and quickly flipped to the back of the book. Inscribed within was a quick explanation of their quest to gain an army, the decisions and how it might affect things. I told them of Connor's possession, that they would need to call on the Circle of mages to save the boy if they did not wish to resort to blood magic.

The list was long and it was nearly dawn by the time I finished, massaging my hand of cramps. I warned them of Loghain's efforts to put an end to them and the assassin he would send along with countless bounty hunters. I also added the potential asset he could become if given a chance. He would be as loyal as they come if you only invest time and interest in him. (And be extremely platonic about it.)

I looked over my numerous pages of text, promising him that if he followed in this order I would meet him in the Brecilian Forest to secure his last allies before heading for Denerim and the Landsmeet.

Hopefully with the Grey Wardens, but I kept that to myself. I would not give them false hope until I knew it for certain.

I closed the book slowly, pausing as I realized I would need to leave something in the pages that would make him look inside. My eyes moved around the small and cramped tent before looking down. My unbound red hair tumbled around my arms. I gathered a lock of it longingly, braiding it tightly before I pulled one of my daggers from its sheath. It cut smoothly through the bundled strands, leaving me with one clump of hair that was shorter than the rest of it. I slid the braid into the pages as a bookmark and closed the book a final time, once more listening for the signs of camp. I was met with silence.

Taking down my tent was easy after all this time of putting it up and down, quickly stowing it onto Bodahn's cart. I didn't want them to have to put it down, cursing my name as they did so. I was confident that I could get away quickly without any trace that Leliana would be able to follow.

My pack strapped to my back along with my quiver, bow and daggers, I left the book in front of Adrien's tent, pausing when the wind pushed the flap opened to reveal Leliana's red hair nestled against Adrien's dark curls.

The sight gave me comfort that I held onto as I crept away from the camp, heading further westward than my party had planned. My brother would have someone to comfort him, to reassure him I left by no fault of his own. Because I knew he wouldn't believe the words I had wrote for him.

.

I covered more ground than I thought I could, especially when I had not slept the night before and was running on fumes. I ate as I traveled, reminding myself that this loaf of bread wouldn't last forever and it wasn't as if I knew how to skin and gut animals. At the very least, I supposed, I could cook a fish. If I could manage to catch one. I shook my head, pushing out the thoughts of how I would eat. All that mattered was that I kept moving—as soon as I stopped, I was certain Adrien would find me, ignoring the instructions I had left for him.

Of course, my singlemindedness left me open to other dangers. A lone girl traveling in the wilderness was a prime target, it seemed.

I had barely a moment's warning—I managed to stop just as I was about to trip a wire that had been placed between two old oak trees, spying a poorly hidden rope trap. And if there was a trap here...

"Oh, looks like we got a smart one."

..The would-be trappers wouldn't be far.

I spun around, notching my bow with an arrow faster than I had before and let it loose before I truly aimed. It flew true and sunk into the man that had spoken.

Down he went without little ceremony while his friend turned to watch him hit the forest floor in slow motion. It was his hesitation that allowed me to notch one more arrow—but then he was racing towards me. I let the arrow fly but it went askew. Instead of pelting the bandit to stop his charge, it grazed the scratchy looking shirt he wore, the pain hardly registering on his outraged face. They had been friends then—and he was looking to claim his vengeance.

He was before me faster than I thought possible, wrestling my bow away from me before shoving his knife into my shoulder, inches away from where my arrow had hit his friend. I let out a strangled scream—it was the most pain I had felt since I'd come to this world. The wound burned as he twisted the blade before yanking it out, pulling another shriek.

"I'm going to make you pay," he sneered down at me, his eyes frenzied and crazed looking.

I didn't even think about what I was doing as my body reacted to the attack, my survival instincts taking over. Somehow, I managed to wrap my fingers around my dagger and slammed it up and into his chest, my arm jarred as I scrapped against a rib not quite reaching my mark.

I watched the expression that flickered through his eyes as he glared down at me—my dagger hadn't reached his heart but I'd done enough damage that he and I knew it wouldn't be long before his lungs were filled with blood. He stared at me with the expression of pure hatred, a look I had never truly seen pointed at me—not even my fuzzy memories of Alistair's rejections. The expression changed as he gave a small cry as I yanked out my dagger and he started to fall to his knees. I should have ended his life then, to ease his pain rather than allow it to be prolonged and full of pain, but I couldn't move. My muscles locked up and I was forced to watch as the light in his eyes slowly died, the hatred turn to fear of the unknown. I watched as he slipped away, the only noise in the small clearing they'd ambushed me in was the ragged sound of his breathing as it slowed and then finally stilled.

The smell of urine and other bodily functions reached me first. It had me gagging, forcing me to step away.

This death was so much more different than the ones I'd dealt in the past. I had always made it a point to attack from a distance—if I had to fight with my daggers, I made shallow cuts so that they didn't bleed excessively. I didn't think I had the stomach to take it. I'd never truly watched a man die, see the whites of his eyes as I stab him to death. See the skin tighten over his bones and the muscles relax.

It had never felt this real when I'd fired my arrows. I could still separate that in my mind, put off all the thoughts reminding me that I am a murderer now. None of the deaths had been of my own accord as they attacked us, but even so, the fact remained.

I was a murderer.

I heard a snort, sudden and sarcastic, my eyes quickly moving from the bandit's lifeless eyes and to the man behind him, the one that I had shot.

His eyes were open as he pointedly stared at me. _"All we wanted was your money. We wouldn't have hurt you."_

Had he somehow survived? Had I truly not killed him with my arrow?

" _Murderer."_

The word hits me harder than when I thought it and I looked down at my hands as if I couldn't believe I'd used these digits to do a crime so horrendous as that. Drops of a dark liquid had splattered over the leather, slowly seeping into it. I catch sight of the other stains on my uniform, blocking out the rich blue of the wardens. They varied between a reddish-brown to gray, from new to washed out. The stains seemed to grow until I could see no blue whatsoever, even covering the plate that covered my hips.

I felt a heavy weight push me down, arms slowly wrapping around myself. A detached part of me knew I was hyperventilating but I couldn't seem to get enough oxygen.

" _Monster."_

My head snapped to the man I had stabbed, my eyes wide as his blank stare drilled a hole into mine. It jolted me into action, digging my fingers into his underarms and forcefully dragging him around the tree and dumping him on the poorly concealed trap so that he wouldn't trip it. I quickly returned to the one that I shot and stared at him long and hard before I decided he was certainly dead. I did the same with him only this time I threw him so that his legs landed on the wire. There was a spray of dirt and leaves as the rope net suddenly raised into the trees, carrying the two bandits with it. It was harder to make them out in the jumble of bodies within it and that was fine with me.

I took a deep breath and held it as I stared for a moment before the air left me in a gust and I quickly turned to follow the sound of the flowing river in the distance. The bodies were gone—no body no crime. I just needed to wash off the blood and it'll be like it never happened. I'll be clean.

I repeated that as a mantra, saying it louder as I heard the two bandits mocking me, their voices never quieting no matter how far I walked from them.

My knees slam against the edge of the river, fingers shaking as I tried to undo the latches and snaps on my gloves. I let out a gasp in horror as my hand slipped out of it. What should have been the creamy tone of my skin with no imperfections but for the hard calluses on my hands was covered in blood. Blood was everywhere. On my palms, on the back of them, even under my nails.

Suddenly, I was crawling, racing into the river, the water cold as it permeated through my uniform. On my hands and knees, it swallowed me whole quickly. The pain that surged through my shoulder brought me an abrupt moment of clarity as my chest burned with the need for air. My head broke the surface, the flow of the water around me pounding in my ears.

I didn't understand how I had forgotten about my wound, something that should have taken precedence over my breakdown. Maybe I had been putting off thinking about everything for so long that it was all bottled up until I couldn't handle it anymore? The logical side thought that wasn't possible. There had to be some kind of catalyst that brought that on.

My sight went fuzzy around the edges then, the colors around me blurring.

Poison. There was no other explanation.

I barely made out the sound of splashing—something entering the river—before everything faded around me, the sound of the water, the cold sensation that was wrapped around me, the burning in my shoulder, and the insistent reminders that I was a monster. A murderer.

In its place was darkness, an oblivion I gratefully slithered under.

.

The throbbing of my head was the first thought on my mind as I awoke, entirely confused with my surroundings. The pain didn't allow me to focus on much else, much less piecing together what had happened to me. I almost wished I could return to sleep but something.. was very wrong.

I kept my breathing even as I slowly became more aware of my surroundings. After that painful morning with Alistair and Adrien, it had become a habit. I was on a mattress, not in the forest like I should be.

Bits and pieces came back to me—I had been making good time as I made my way west to the Orlesian border, moving further away from from the lake we'd been skirting. I had been nearing a small river when...

Bandits. Blood on my hands, on my armor. Murderer. Monster. Water, pain clearing my mind from the insanity that had wrapped around me. And then... nothing.

I feigned sleep for a moment more, listening carefully to ensure I was truly alone. Once I was certain, I slid open my eyes, fighting the darts of pain the soft light in the room caused.

Daybreak, perhaps?

The room had a regal bearing, expensive tapestries, large wardrobes... It took me a longer than it should have to realize where I was.

It was my old room, one I had seen with my own eyes only once before I began this quest to end the Blight. I slowly pulled myself up, looking around before throwing the blanket off and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I was contemplating who'd done this—not that it was hard since I was in my childhood home—when fabric fell to my ankles, catching me off guard.

Gone was my comfortable leathers and plate of the Grey Wardens, replaced by a flimsy night gown smothered in lace. It sickened me, the thought of someone changing me while I was vulnerable and unable to defend myself. The fury that awoke in me caused my magic to crackle in my veins, begging for release. My fists clenched at my side repeatedly. They had taken my weapons, my beloved armor, but they hadn't known to drain me of magic.

Someone was going to die.

I took a deep breath to calm myself as the door was unlocked and forcefully shoved open. An armored man entered unceremoniously, tossing a bundle of cloth onto the bed.

"Teyrn Howe wants you dressed and down for dinner," he grunted, face scrunching unattractively as he finally turned his beady eyes to me.

Dusk, then.

I spared a glance at what was a garment, feeling like a cornered animal. I could not lash out yet, however. Once more I berated myself for my foolishness. I had not – could not have foreseen this. I had never been separated from my party in the game.. I knew it would come with its own set of dangers and challenges. I should have known.

I picked up the offensive garment, holding back a groan and a hiss. While it was made of an alright quality of material, the dress was wholly unflattering with its abundance in ruffles, lace, and the low cut of the neckline. The dress was a joke to someone of my station of life here in Ferelden. Howe wanted me to know that I was lower than him, a helpless damsel in distress.

The hiss was in reaction to my reminder of my wound I'd received from the bandit. I lifted the neckline of my nightgown, seeing a square patch covering it. At the very least, they'd patched me up.

Very well, I decided. I would play his game. My angel had told me, " _Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant."_ I would do just that. I peered up at the man, deciding that killing him would be far too easy. And I needed to look weak. He took my stare as one of defiance, puffing out his chest.

"Teyrn Howe wants you dressed as a woman and not a pretend Grey Warden."

"Excuse me?" I hissed quietly.

"Everyone knows the Wardens don't accept women," he nodded, staring at me with a crude look. He saw me as a liar.

Killing him would be too merciful.

I sauntered slowly up to the man with my best seductive look. From the way his eyes glazed over slightly, I could tell his mind was weak. Easy to control.

" _You will tell me everything you know."_

After all, knowledge is power.

.

"Ah.. Miss Rosalind Cousland," Howe greeted from the head of the table, dressed in finery that didn't suit his weasel face. The 'miss' was another way he tried to show his delusional superiority. "How pleased I am to see you alive and safe from those traitor Grey Wardens."

I let my eyes drop to the ground and my arms wrap around myself, the picture of demure and weak. I recalled that he had only know of doll-Rosalind. It was what he expected, easily underestimating me. Perhaps my slowly forming plan would work after all.

I kept my mouth shut, not entirely sure how to respond to that. While I could easily pretend that I had been captured by them, it wasn't likely that doll-Rosalind would feel this way. Adrien was still her brother.

I let my eyes gloss over the dinning hall, fuzzy memories flashing through my mind of Adrien and I playing with our food, the hall full of laughter and love.

It was empty, cold and dreary in comparison.

"..When can I leave? My brother.. I am sure he is worried." The voice came easier than I thought possible. I spoke barely over a whisper, eyes slowly raising to look at him from under my lashes. The look on his face reassured me that he had bought it. Hook, line, and sinker.

"My dear girl," he sighed, raising from the table to move to my side. "You must see that your brother is not the good Warden he has led you to believe." He had a sympathetic tone, as if he truly cared about my well-being. His hand wrapped around my elbow, leading me to the seat right of his. He pulled out my chair before guiding me to sit and pushed it back in.

Had I not known of his true nature, I might have bought it. His mask showed sincerity, yet I could see his wickedness in the softening of his eyes. I turned my orbs to my plate as he returned to his seat, reminding myself to be downcast.

"Forgive me... Good or bad, he is still my brother." My voice broke over the word 'bad', playing up the weak princess. There was something about this act that made it so easy for me... I took a deep breath, remembering. This was how I used to act around my father.

Playing a damsel came naturally to me.

"Poor child," he tutted, arms reaching out to pile food onto my plate.

I absently wondered if he thought me so oblivious not to see the insignia his soldiers bore as they attacked my family. My hands clenched in my lap under the table before I calmed myself. I am a weak girl. Be a weak girl.

"Please, do eat," he invited as he dug into his own food. He had no qualms about speaking with his mouth full. "It seems they have been starving you, my dear."

He had a bad word every so often throughout the meal, no doubt trying to wear down my defenses until I agreed with him. I decided I would hold out for at least two days before I agreed with him. My immediate agreement would be questioned, seeming suspicious no doubt.

.

A different servant seemed to appear every time my company was requested, something I took advantage of.

" _If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them."_

It was not difficult to plant a few seeds in their minds, turn them against Howe. These were the people that were most likely brought from Amaranthine and made to clean the bloody mess his soldiers had left behind. His abuse of them was easy to pick up on – and I knew he had to. The man liked to torture his prisoners, after all.

A subtle compulsion was all that I needed to slowly amass a small group of followers. They provided me with information discretely, all I heard lessening the guilt over making sleeper agents out of Howe's men. It was easier than I had thought. One word was all it would take now for soldiers and servants alike to champion my cause. My shrewdness was justified – the man was evil.

I would drag out my revenge slowly, raking him over the coals.

I would enjoy every second. No one would kill him, however. No, death would come when Adrien dealt it and not before. I wouldn't take that from him. After all, he had known our parents longer. He feels their loss more acutely than I.

.

"My dear girl," Howe greeted me when I entered the study with yet another servant on the second day. The old man continued to use pet names for me, never truly calling me by name or by the title I was deserving of.

He sat in an overstuffed armchair, looking up from his book as a slow smile curled his lips. The sight revolted me. "How good of you to join me. I was just entertaining the thought of coming to find you when you appeared!"

I tried to smile, yet failed on purpose, trying to look just a bit conflicted. "Is.. Is there something bothering you?" I asked quietly.

"How perceptive of you!" he clapped after closing his book. "I could almost believe you can read my mind, child." He winked before continuing. "I was thinking of your future and your safety and I believe I have come up with a favorable plan." He gestured to the chair on the other side of the hearth and I slowly eased myself in it, sitting on the edge and letting my shoulders roll forward in an attempt to make myself look smaller, timid.

My eyes stayed on the book in his lap knowing it wasn't safe to look any higher than that. I was meek and demure. "A plan, ser?"

"Yes," he smiled. "I know my youngest son was interested in you, child, but Nathaniel will be returning home within a few weeks. If you wish to be safe and not lose your ancestral home, you will marry my son."

It made sense then, the reason he was keeping me here, his ultimate design. Once you steal something, you spend your whole life trying to hold onto it for fear that someone else might steal it. Not to mention tenants that would refuse to pay their rent. But should he obtain Highever through say.. legal means, he would be safe. Cousland blood gave him Highever and Cousland blood will allow him to keep Highever.

My words were meek and uncertain, my face twisting with worry. I worried I had settled into this old character a little too welll – that leaving it might be extremely difficult. "Ser... My family had wanted me to marry—"

"As admirable as it is that you wish to follow the wishes of dead traitors, you must see the foolishness of it."

Magic crackled under my skin and I tried desperately to keep it from lashing out at the old weasel. No, I'd have no trouble leaving this persona behind.

"No, my dear child, to survive in this world, you must cut all ties with your horrid last name or the people of Ferelden will burn you alive. Please try to see that I only have your interests in mind. I offer you safety in my House, the protection of my name."

No doubt I looked like a stupid girl as I let my hands drop into my lap, fingers fisting into the material of my skirts.

"I..."

"Do not worry your pretty little head, girl."

And like that, the conversation was over and Howe was under the impression that I would follow his words. I was nothing but a doll to him and I was content to let him underestimate me. For now.

I spent the rest of the afternoon nodding softly to his words, mind mostly focused on the book I had obtained from the library and how long I had until I could escape his presence. I jumped up at the first excuse I could come up with—afternoon tea. Howe thankfully did not wish to join me, allowing me to plant more of my seeds and gather information. I could not stay here much longer with his intent to marry me to his son.

I learned of Riordan's presence in the dungeons that night. My plan quickly changed to make up for the different things that could occur when I escaped with Riordan's dead weight slowing me down. The list of things I needed to do just got larger. Free Riordan and locate our things. Steal enough food from the kitchen that would keep us alive long enough to find more. Drag him to the Grey Wardens.

.

Three days I spent in Highever playing the weak princess. Three days I endured Howe trying to turn me against my brother, promising to protect me, and sitting in clothes that made me feel uncomfortable with his beady eyes staring. Three days I waited, turning more and more weak minded fools into my agents.

The fourth daybreak brought the end of my patience when he sent a tailor with plans to fit me for my wedding dress.

I thought not. I endured one more day to prepare before I began my escape in the early hours of morning... Just as Howe had when he slaughtered my family.

The lock of my bedroom was simple enough to get around, the heavy door swinging open into the courtyard. It was still, not a soul to be seen and the torches dying. It gave me the perfect shadow to creep into, nearly unseen.

All Grey Warden armor, symbols, and weapons had been placed in a vault in the dungeons along with Riordan. I steadily made my way there, putting a stray servant to sleep before continuing on.

I crept into the dungeon, hearing the faint rustling of chains and the soft awareness of being near another of my people. I could feel the taint he held and realized just how much I had missed it—the constant warmth of knowing Alistair or Adrien were nearby.

And he knew I was here, too.

I found his lone guard, relieved when I realized he was one of my sleepers, the first man I ever encountered.

I stepped out of the darkness and shadows, startling him. He looked at me bewildered, letting out a breath.

"It's you.." he sighed like a love struck fool. Side effect from too much compulsion.

I held up my hand like a Jedi. _"You never saw me. You feel very tired. Sleep..."_

He yawned widely, repeating my words. "I never saw you.. I feel very tired..." he slowly lowered himself to the ground and let out a prompt snore.

I imaged Riordan was surprised with the way he watched me as I appeared before his barred cell clad in only a night gown. His dark brows scrunched up over his blue eyes as he sat on the floor, shackled to the wall.

"Hello, Riordan," I murmured before turning from him to take the keys of the guard's body.

"Who—"

I winced as the door creaked as I opened it, quietly moving into his cage. I sat at his side, nightgown billowing around me. "I am one of Duncan's recruits," I mutter quietly as I worked on the manacles on his wrists. "You don't need to speak—I expect you have been tortured. Save your strength and I will get you out of here."

The shackles on his ankles were easier to manage as I stayed focused on my task. After he was completely unbound, I helped him onto his feet as his eyes watched me carefully and he swayed.

I ducked under his arm, wrapping mine around his waist and helped him move further into the dungeons, quickly locating the vault. I used a familiar key on the jailer's key ring, quickly sliding it into the vault and turning it to the left. It gave a groan as it was unlocked, the large door opening towards me. I quickly caught it and opened it up further, thanking whatever god existed in this world. From what I could tell, everything I owned was in this chest. My beloved leathers, potions, poisons, bow, arrows, dagger and such. I was disappointed to learn that I was missing one dagger and one glove—How's men couldn't have been bothered when they captured me. Bastards.

Forcing Riordan to down a health potion, I turned my back to him as I quickly threw the night gown over my head and pulled on my comfortable leathers. I felt so much more confident as I secured the last buckle, smoothing my gloved and naked hands over the scaled tabard. I let out a soft sigh of contentment before quickly holstering my lone dagger and throwing my quiver and bow over my shoulder.

I turned back to Riordan, his uniform nearly in place as well, offering him one more health potion so that he could move on his own. He stared at my visible hand, eyes flickering up at my face in question. I shook my head—that was not a conversation I wanted to have yet. He followed behind me, both of us taking to the shadows like fish in water, blending in with our surroundings.

While I liked the feeling of having someone in the shadows with me, I knew my senior warden was going to have.. several hundred questions for me as soon as we were out of here.

I lead him to the servant's passage I had once used to escape in the larder, stopping him once we reached the kitchens. Something felt.. off. I could hear voices coming from the larder, soft arguing. I glanced up at Riordan with a conflicted look and he held out his hand, as if to say 'ladies first'.

I flicked his arm with my fingers and drew my bow. Notching an arrow, I nodded at him to open the door.

The sight that awaited us had me lowering my bow, watching as a templar argued with an assassin about the best way to storm a castle, ignoring us staring at them blankly.

Titan noticed me first, looking over as he wiggled his entire butt in pleasure at seeing me. I cleared my throat. "Excuse me, you're blocking my way out, Cullen, Zevran."

Titan barked, moving to my side happily. He shoved his entire body into mine and I patted his head, somehow managing not to fall over. I held a finger up to my lips with a stern look. He quieted down, looking down before back up at me again. He knew our reunion would have to wait.

Cullen didn't get the idea, striding over to me and wrapping his arms around my form as he lifted me into the air. Rio was the one that plucked me from his arms. "We are in the middle of escaping... Perhaps later?" he reminded him.

Zev just looked at us like we were confusing fools.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** It's been about a month-I'm sorry for that, everyone! Between getting my heart shoved through a shredder, nearly failing my classes (in college, I'm old), and the holidays, I've been a bit swamped. I'll try to get another update in before the new year! In apology, I hope you enjoyed the nearly six thousand word (ten pages) chapter!

All my love~

JaneSwan


	15. XIV: Duncan Returns

When you're in the middle of an escape, there's not a lot of time for introductions and 'what are you doing here's. No one said a word until we'd put several miles between us and Highever, and even then it was 'I gotta take a piss' and 'slow down, Red'.

Not exactly what we needed to talk about, but we'd get there.

No one really spoke until the sun hung low in the west, marking the end of our travels for that evening. Bed rolls were laid out, a fire built with a well placed fireball, and rabbit roasting on a spit. It was awkward.

"So," I said loudly, clapping my hands. Everyone looked over at me, huddled next to Titan. "There are several things that need to be discussed and a watch rotation picked before we sleep.

I got a nod from Cullen. "Indeed."

I nodded back. "Abducted or not, I have no intention of returning to my brother."

He shrugged. "My goal is to be useful to you. I couldn't do that if you were gone." He eyed Titan. "The dog followed me."

"And Zevran Arainai? An assassin from the Crows?" If the elf was surprised I knew his name he didn't show it. "Why is he with you?"

Cullen shrugged once more. "I hired him."

"Alright..." I rubbed my face, feeling drained. Which made sense after all the soldiers, servants, and random nobles I had brainwashed. Howe would soon find it very difficult living in Highever. He would feel the need to relocate to Denerim sooner than later where he would be in a prime location to face my brother.

My eyes found my fellow Warden from across the fire. He was watching me closely before he stood. "I wish to speak to you in private, sister. Warden business."

I could hear the command in his voice and quickly rose, eyes moving to Cullen's tense form. Was he worried I'd disappear once more?

We walked a distance before Rio found a tree to lean against, arms folding and eyeing me curiously.

"I would begin by telling you who I am and from where I hail... But you already know that, don't you?"

I nodded slowly.

"Duncan informed me about you. I was curious why his promising recruit had reappeared in Highever. You seem to be gifted with favorable timing and foresight."

I blinked at him. "Then Duncan-"

"Alive? Yes. Your warnings gave him ample time to prepare. He and the King are gathered just a day's journey from here." His brow raised, "I had expected you to know this as you seemed to be headed there."

I shook my head as I let out a sigh. I had made a difference—I could change things. While I knew he was alive, having someone of this world reassure me of this made it all the more real. "I can not see everything. Only how it would have turned out without my influence. I can not see the repercussions of my own actions."

I only knew the timeline of the game and I'd just learned the hard way that things can change should I decide to branch out and do something outlandish. Like leaving my friends and brother, being poisoned, kidnapped and almost married off to the enemy's son.

"Your foresight allowed for a small contingency of Wardens to arrive in Ferelden before crossing the border became an impossibility. I was scouting ahead when I was captured."

Nodding, I said, "I need to tell Duncan of Adrien and Alistair, his other recruits, and their progress in securing the aid of the peoples of Ferelden."

He eyebrows rose. "Indeed. Very impressive for three recruits... Though I expect you've a great deal of information hidden behind that fair facade."

"You could say I am at least a junior member of the Order."

"I think you could give me a run for my money."

"Perhaps," I replied, lips curling into a smirk.

.

We knew we were close to our destination as the typical sounds and smells reached us. Unwashed bodies, meat roasting on a spit, metal on metal of armored movements and the rumblings of the inhabitants of the camp. It made me uneasy—it was far too similar to the camp I had left behind a week ago. What if Rio had accidentally steered us in the wrong direction and the Maker or Andraste or whoever thought it funny to reunite us with our abandoned comrades? My hand moved to the pouch I had pilfered from my old room on my hip. I could throw down a smoke pellet, I decided as I saw the scenario in my mind. I would be able to get away as long as Sten or Alistair didn't charge me. I felt cold at the thought of Alistair's furious face as he ran after me, my stomach dropping painfully.

A heavy hand rested on my shoulder, drawing my attention to him. The blonde looked concerned, his presence calming me. He was telling me I wasn't alone. They were getting good at reading my face. I'd have to learn to better mask my emotions.

"Thank you, Cullen," I smiled softly.

Rio slowed down just a little to walk on my other side. "There is no need to be nervous. Duncan will be glad to have you back." His hand rested on my head, my neck not prepared for the extra weight. My head tilted forward as he ruffled my hair. I smacked his hand away, groaning.

"Oi! Bad Rio!"

Titan barked, shoving Rio away with his massive head before looking up at me expectantly. I knew what he wanted, my smile widening into a grin.

"Who's a good boy?"

His entire butt wiggled as we walked, making it look like he walked with only his front legs. He barked up at me and I scratched him behind the ears.

"You are! Yes, you are!" I made cooing noises as I spoiled Titan, calmer now. I needed these people with me. I was lucky Cullen had followed Titan to me.

"If you like, I will offer my services to any that offend you," Zevran suggested from behind me, his brows raising up and down when I looked over my shoulder at him. Quiet laughter bubbled from my lips.

"I'm going to hold you to that. For a different situation than this one. We kind of need all the Grey Wardens we can get, even if they turn out to be pompous." I threw Rio a wink before bracing myself. "Okay, let's do this."

.

Riordan dropped off our companions at the main campfire with promises of food before he led me to the main tent. I almost groaned when I saw who was standing guard outside. I realized I was a horrible person as I thought about how it wouldn't have hurt if this one Warden had perished at Ostagar.

The man was just as unsightly as before, his face souring as we drew near. I found myself naturally keeping behind Rio and out of sight.

"Riordan. We thought you were dead," Lotherine stated with a sneer. I could read the implication that he wouldn't have minded if it was true. It made me sick to my stomach as I realized I was the same as the Sloth.

Rio let out a soft sigh before ignoring him and moving towards the tent entrance. He was trying to be an adult, the bigger man. He wasn't easily provoked. My opinion of him raised—I knew he was mature, I just didn't know he was _this_ mature.

Lotherine's arm snapped out, brows drawing over his beady eyes as he barred the way into the tent. "Duncan has asked to not be disturbed."

I pulled myself from Rio's shadow then—Rio might not be easily provoked, but I was. (Probably not something to be proud of.) My sudden appearance unnerved him as he had been so focused on upsetting Rio and made him jump as if he'd seen a ghost.

"He will want to be disturbed," I growled.

But of course, he wouldn't just _let_ us pass.

"You should be dead!" He exclaimed loudly, drawing attention to us from the Grey Wardens milling about.

It was also loud enough to draw Duncan from his tent, throwing back the opening of the tent. "Lotherine, I told you—"

The words died in his throat as his dark eyes fell on Rio and myself, blinking a few times as if he wasn't sure we were truly there.

"Sir, I wasn't going to—"

I cut off Sloth as I threw myself forward and past him, arms wrapping around Duncan's neck as I hugged the older man tightly. His own arms slowly wrapped around me as if he hadn't been hugged in quite some time, his hands lightly patting me on the back.

"I'm so glad you survived," I said quietly, my voice breaking as I tried to control my emotions. It was useless, however, as tears leaked from my eyes. Duncan relaxed as I cried, his hand smoothing over my hair like a father would to a young child.

"It is thanks to you," he said quietly.

After a moment, I pulled away from him, rubbing my eyes with the back of my ungloved hand with a sniff. My cheeks flushed just a little, eyes dropping to the ground bashfully. "I just gave you a warning."

I forced myself to look back up at him, his lips curved into a small smile before looking over at Rio. "Old friend, word had traveled that you had been captured and killed. I am thankful to be wrong."

Rios eyes flickered down to me, giving me a rueful smile. "Our dear oracle came for me."

My lips twisted. "I was captured myself. He just happened to be there when I made my escape."

Rio snorted, moving forward as his hand weighed down my head once more. "Sure," he replied, not sounding convinced.

"Come, Rosalind. Tell me of your journey. After you will eat until you burst and sleep. Tomorrow, I will call on you for your opinions."

I nodded slowly, Rio bidding his farewell for the evening and Lotherine sending me a glare.

He was totally jealous.

.

I leaned over the map, my long braid falling over my shoulder as I frowned. Titan panted a few paces behind me, the elven assassin leaning comfortably against the wall and Cullen standing to my left. It had been a little over a month since my escape from Highever and Duncan had worked me to the bone as a strategist, something I wasn't sure I was cut out to be. We worked tirelessly plotting the final battle against the Archdemon. He and Rio both wanted to be the one to deliver the final blow—their Calling was getting close.

I was forced to tell them about my dreams for them to understand that the one that needed to end the Archdemon was myself. It was a long night of arguing, ignoring their reminders that I still had a long life ahead of me. I had to remind them that to sacrifice was to be a Grey Warden.

It had taken an attack of darkspawn for them to concede defeat. The darkspawn had ignored every other Grey Warden and fought tirelessly to get to me. It was either destroy the Archdemon myself or risk becoming one.

I frowned at the map, staring at Redcliffe. Zevran had just returned earlier to tell us that Adrien and Alistair's party had completely saved the village and castle—the Circle had been called upon to save Connor and Eamon had been revived with the ashes of Andraste.

They had already set out for Orzammar and we would soon be leaving, staying one step behind them on purpose. It had taken some explaining, but Duncan agreed that we would keep the Grey Wardens that had been slowly arriving every day for the last month a secret. The less that knew about our presence, the more likely we were to keep off Loghain's radar.

"We'll be leaving after dusk. Cullen, will you remind Rio that he needs to prepare that pampered king for travel?"

The templar gave a soft sigh before offering me a bow. "If my lady commands it."

I rolled my eyes, turning my head to give him a frown. "You really don't need to call me that."

He throws me a wink before moving out of the tent. I returned my eyes to the map, drawing out our path with my finger. It wouldn't take us long—we were constantly moving our camp to keep from being discovered and had relocated two days from Redcliffe. The entire camp would be gone, moved on, a few hours after our departure. They would continue on Soldier's Peak, to deal with Avernus—who I believed could be an answer to curing the Calling. If Duncan could see passed his blood magic ways, that is. My party and I would continue on after we ensured Cailan's safety with his uncle, Eamon, and head for the Brecilian Forest to secure the elves' aid in stopping the Blight.

We had decided it would be best if we separated, or rather that I go my separate way from Duncan's small army of Wardens. It seemed that after my arrival, the skirmishes between Warden and darkspawn grew more frequent. It was as if I was becoming some sort of beacon for them. It would be best if I did not put the Wardens in danger more than strictly necessary. (To which Rio strongly disagreed and thus invited himself to travel with me.)

It was strange, how one can adapt so easily. The throbbing in my chest had lessened to a dull ache and I tried to keep myself busy so that I didn't focus on my ragtag group of misfits I had left behind.

There was a shout from across the camp, one that I easily recognized as Cailan. I rolled my eyes up to the heavens, sighing. He didn't like the idea of dressing as a peasant, obviously. Well, _too_ bad.

I pushed from the war table, stretching my arms above my head as I turned to peer at Zevran. He was eyeing me appreciatively which made me snort. And feel just a little flattered.

"After we've gained the elves' support, the next order of business will be dealing with the Crows. What Crows are lurking in Denerim, that is."

"That is unless your brother has beaten us, how do you say, to the punch."

I smirked at him, leaning against the war table and crossing my arms under my chest. His eyes had a smoldering gleam in them as they glanced downwards then back to my face. It had taken some time to get Zev and Cullen to admit that my brother had actually sent them after me and it truly hadn't surprised me. Cullen had forcefully added that he would have come after me even if Adrien hadn't sent him.

"The eternal optimist suddenly has a pessimistic view? I am rubbing off on you, Zev. Though, I have told you that you don't need to be present. You care for Taliesen. I wouldn't put you through something so heartbreaking as that."

"I can think of other ways I would prefer you to rub against me," he flirted, brows waggling before he became serious, letting out a sigh. "Your gift of foresight inspire both fascination and dread."

"I am sorry."

He pushes off the wall then, stepping over Titan to come to my side. "Ah, there is no need for apologies. You did not ask for it and this is something I must face."

I reach over, placing my hand on his shoulder as my brows furrow in worry. The possibility that Zevran could betray us weighed on my mind and there was no way for me to check his approval rating, either. In the end, I have simply tried to be his friend. It was all I could do.

Zevran, who was slightly shorter than myself, looked up at me before taking my hand into his and pulling it from his shoulder. He looked down at it before his nimble fingers begin to knead the heel of my hand. "You worry?"

"The future is not set in stone, Zevran."

His thumb presses into a pressure point and I wince, trying to remember that my hands will feel better after it is done. "Then do tell me what you have foreseen."

"There are three possible outcomes."

He looked up from his work, a brow arching for me to continue.

"You could walk away, to not fight with or against your former comrades. You could fight with me against Taliesen. Or.. You could betray us. You cannot escape the Crows' forgiveness without killing all Wardens within Ferelden." I gave him a careful look before shrugging, feigning nonchalance.

"There is not a very cheery outlook on my future, is there?" His fingers stilled on my hand for a moment before releasing me. The massaged limb fell to my side, heavier than before.

He knew that to go against the Wardens would be suicide—something he had wished for before meeting my brother. I'm sure he wondered if he would receive mercy once more from the small army of Wardens that surrounded us. Silence permeated the air for a few more heart beats before he reached other and grasped my other hand. He went to work on it, eyes narrowing at the appendage in concentration.

"There was a fortune teller among the prostitutes that raised me that said I would live a long life. So tell me... Could that be true? Thus far you have given me no reason to doubt your abilities as she has." His voice was careful, carefully stripped of emotion.

I took a deep breath, letting my head fall back as I inspected the ceiling of the large tent. I gathered my thoughts for a moment, teeth sinking into my bottom lip. "Do you truly wish to know the future, Zev? It is an awful weight to bear."

He finally looked up at me, eyes serious and holding none of his usual flirtatiousness. He didn't say the words, but I knew what he wanted.

"I believe so. At least for the next twenty years or so. I do not see much past that." I kept it to myself that he would begin to kill other high ranking members of the Crows, slowly taking his revenge.

He raised my hand to his mouth, pressing his lips against the back of it. I blinked, my skin flushing as if it had a mind of its own. "I thank you, my lady."

I couldn't help to feel it was symbolic, however, as if his act was an intention of pledging support to me. My lips pursed—another person to call me by a title. "Zev—"

He straightened, letting go of my hand and taking a step from me, a mischievous smirk curving his lips. "I shall ready the troops, my friend." He looked as if we'd been joking around rather than speaking about anything serious.

He turned and sauntered out, a frown pulling at my lips as he left the war tent. The elf's acting skill made me uncomfortable, but I knew he was unlikely to betray me. Unless he truly decided he had a death wish. I tried not to think about how much that would pain me to do so.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** So, who loves me? Two chapters in one day within thirty minutes of each other! Go me. I might post a couple more before the day's over. I got all the time right now!

Throwing my lovely readers love~

JaneSwan


	16. XV: Preparations

Three days with the supposed dead king of Ferelden had me wishing he was actually dead. Which I quickly reminded myself that him being alive was for the best—with him, Alistair would have a future.. A short one unless we could convince the blood mage grey warden to help cure the calling. (Which would help everyone in the long run.)

The moment I was free of Cailan's company was the moment I could finally breathe. The trip to place him safely with his uncle felt like weeks rather than days. The man had been far to pampered and it wasn't until I smacked him around a bit that he realized it. If the Archdemon didn't die by my hand (and me with it), it was likely that Cailan might try to sentence me to death. I might have taken too many liberties with him. What can I say? Americans don't care for self-entitled punks who were born into power and didn't work for it. We might fuss over a royal marriage, but we had a problem with authority and kings. It came with the American dream.

I rubbed at my face, sighing as we began our long trek to the Brecillian forest.

"Are you tired?" Rio asked quietly at my side, frowning down at me. "We can make camp—"

"No, that's not necessary. I'm just tired of all this traveling we have to do. It feels like I haven't had a true moment's rest since Howe attacked my estate."

His heavy hand fell onto my shoulder, tugging on my braid that had found its way over my shoulder. "And no amount of me saying it's for a good cause is going to make it any better."

I shook my head, the braid smacking him in the arm. He chuckled softly, tossing the braid over my other shoulder. "Careful there—that could easily be a weapon."

"Ah, yes. A weapon of mass destruction. A dark spawn behind me? I'll whip my hair back and forth!" I sputtered with laughter at the accidental quote of a song that no one would understand, drawing the eyes of our companions. "Take that, darkspawn scum!"

"Ah, you have cheered up then, my friend," Zevran commented from behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder at him, raising my brow.

"You have been in a sour mood since we started dragging—I mean, escorting the king to Redcliffe," Cullen helpfully added from in front of us. Titan barked in agreement, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Can you blame me? The man was a pompous ass."

"Insulting your ruler. You would fit in well in Antiva, you know. Now, if you assassinate him you will truly fit in."

I couldn't help but snort at Zev, stretching my arms above my head. "Sorry I've been in a mood," I offered quietly, looking shyly at all of them.

Rio offered me a kind smile, rolling his shoulders. "Not at all. Despite your status as a seer of sorts, you're still human."

The way he said it made me pause. I was human. Humans are known for reaching a limit and then having a break down, reminding me of my bout with the poison from that bandit. I looked down at my hands as I walked along with my companions. While I had gained another glove in place of my missing one, I did not don gloves or my gauntlets, the paleness of my palm visible. It almost felt wrong—that my hands were so white. I remember when I had thought they were red, front and back and dried blood under my nails—all the blood I had spilled. Something like that should have traumatized me. Did I just not take it seriously?

Or maybe I wasn't really human at all. My heart dropped suddenly, my fingers curling into fists.

.

Autumn was starting to creep up on us as we reached the edge of the Brecilian Forest, the colorful canopy of leaves bursting above us. I had to stop for a moment and just enjoy the view. It was like someone had been rather generous with a paintbrush or I was staring into a kaleidoscope.

My companions kept going, not realizing I had stopped. They went a few paces before Titan bounded back to my side and nudged me forward, as if he was trying to herd me. I nudged him back with a smile as I continued on, trying to burn the image in my mind. I'd never seen such majesty in my first life—it was drab in comparison, my priorities so different and the rewards I received so small. Not for the first time, I sent a small prayer of thanks to my angel of death for giving me this experience.

"How refreshing." Zevran's voice came from my shoulder.

I gave him a rueful smile as I peered over at him. "Oh, thank you. I know I am."

He grinned at me, sending a wink as he moved from my side and appeared to dissolve into shadow. My eyes scarcely followed him as he went to scout ahead. Rio took his place, Cullen dropping back as well as the two stared at me.

"How do you intend to find the Dalish camp? They are a nomadic people."

I peered up at Rio with a secretive smile. "We aren't."

Cullen blinked. "Do you mean to let them find us?"

I shook my head, "Nope."

Rio's lips pursed as he tried to read me in vain—I didn't give anything away. "Pray tell exactly what we _are_ we doing here then?"

"We're going to find the werewolves."

Cullen's brows lowered over his eyes while Rio looked mildly constipated. They shared a look over my head before regarding me once more.

My brow arched, lips twisting. "You live in a world where people can turn into ghastly abominations and you're going to tell me you don't think werewolves are real?"

.

I felt at home in the woods that surrounded me but I couldn't say the same for my companions. While I could see Zev, Rio, and Cullen were on edge, Titan had it the worst. At every howl, every cry of a wolf, his entire body would tense up and I could practically see him fighting against the need to cry out in response. After the urge would pass, I would make sure to lower myself to his height and wrap my arms around his neck and thank him for not giving away our position yet. I didn't know where exactly I wanted to be when we confronted the werewolves for a meeting—one that I would most likely have to use compulsion to gain—but I knew I wanted to be further into the forest first.

We hiked through the forest until the sun began to sink, quickly setting up camp. The further inland we moved, the further from any reliable water source we became. We had at least two more days of water—three if we rationed—before we would need to replenish our supply. We would need to reach Witherfang tomorrow if we wanted to reach the Dalish camp before it ran out.

"Y'know, you're muttering again."

I blinked, looking up. Cullen had seated himself next to me in front of the fire, his plate discarded and dressed in a formfitting tunic and trousers. My cheeks flushed of their own accord as I rolled my eyes away from him. "If you don't want to hear it, you can go to your bedroll."

His soft laughter was lost to the cracking of wood in the fire, hazel eyes softening around the edges. He looked comfortable, more at ease than when he was in the Circle. His arm was resting on a bent knee, his other hand supporting his weight as he reclined next to me. The light of the flames seemed to lick at his form, giving him a more mysterious air than I recalled him having. When looking at him like this, I could almost see that black fur he would wear about his shoulders, the scars he'd yet to gain on his face. I could see the man he would become in the man he was.

He was staring back at me in a way that made my chest tighten and, in my inexperience, I quickly lowered my eyes. My experience with the other sex was limited to Alistair and he didn't even _like_ me.

A finger tapped my chin, directing my chin up. If felt like he was so much closer now, his entire body leaning towards me. "Sometimes," he breathed, his warm breath fanning my face as he removed his hand from my chin, "I forget how young you really are."

A soft snort was pulled from me, a brow arching at him. "Oh? Is that a compliment, I wonder?"

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "You're a natural leader, Rosalind. You're always looking at the bigger picture, always considering everyone around you. You're fearless and just a bit crazy." He blinked rapidly, his expression freezing as if he couldn't believe he had just used the 'c' word around a female. "In a completely good way, of course!"

"And he was doing so well, too."

"Pay up."

Cullen stiffened before quickly shoving himself two feet away from me and looking over to where Rio was handing Zev a few coins. My entire face felt like it was on fire, burning me to my very core. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a perpetual blush for the rest of my life. I shot to my feet, mumbled something about getting firewood before making a hasty getaway from everyone.

Once I was out of sight of the camp, I picked up speed, jogging over the uneven terrain for a few minutes until I found a perfectly good tree to slide down and over-analyze everything.

The entire quest of defeating the Blight was bad enough without throwing romance into the mix. My fingers wrapped around my braid and tugged. Should have just been ugly so that I wouldn't attract attention.

I let out a sigh, reminding myself I didn't believe that. I let my head fall back on the tree trunk, eyes peering up through the branches at the stars. There were so many of them—it looked like the sky could burst.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax, to ease the burn that had traveled down to my fingertips and toes. Hazel eyes awaited me there, making me feel warm until they darkened into amber. A groan left me, shaking my head as if it would dispel the image. If there was one thing I knew was that Alistair didn't really care for me. My fuzzy memories explained that in perfect detail. The doll-Rosalind was hated. Why should he change his opinion just because I'd become more forceful and independent? Game-Alistair had always been my favorite but when faced with this 'real-Alistair'.. I didn't like him.

My heart squeezed at the declaration, willfully denying it. My heart and mind couldn't see eye to eye on this. I _knew_ the man was no good for me. Even if doll-Rosalind had no emotions, she was still Rosalind. If he couldn't handle Rosalind at her worst, he didn't deserve Rosalind at her best.

I took a deep breath, solidifying the decision in my mind as I pushed myself up onto my feet and started picking up small sticks as I made my way back towards camp.

When I returned, Zev and Rio were already in their bedrolls, Titan comfortably resting his head on what I assumed was Rio's stomach, and Cullen still sat next to the fire that he carefully tended with a long stick. His head snapped up as I stepped on a stick, relaxing as he realized it was just me. I moved to his side, setting down my sticks in his small pile before I huddled down in front of it to suck up a bit more warmth before curling into my own bedroll.

"I'm sorry."

I peered over at the blonde, head tilting. "What for?"

"You were embarrassed."

I shrugged. "So were you."

"Yes, but I... You're not mad?"

My brows furrowed and his expression turned sheepish. "Why would I.. Oh, because I walked off?" I let out a soft giggle, shaking my head as I offered him a small smile. "Just embarrassed. I, uh.." The blush that the chill outside of the camp had cooled was returning. "Well, I don't have much experience in general." The admission had my eyes falling from his, shyly returning my gaze to the flames that seemed to offer solace.

A snort escaped him, quickly covered up with a clearing of his throat. "You, uh, have experience where it matters."

I rolled my eyes and nudged his shoulder playfully with mine. "Flatterer."

He returned the nudge with his own, "Mutterer."

I let out a fake gasp, twisting at the waist as I stared him down. "Take that back," I hissed.

His lips rolled upwards in a grin, flashing his teeth. "Make me."

I shoved at him with a growl but I was too obvious with my attack. His larger hands wrapped around my wrist and yanked. Abruptly, we were falling—one of us had thrown the other off balance horribly—away from the fire. I immediately registered that I had fallen on his chest, finding myself in a very compromising position as I laid on top of him.

If I was blushing earlier, I was on fire now.

Cullen's eyes were smoldering as he stared up at me, his hands still wrapped around my wrists and my fingers fisted into the collar of his tunic. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and absently wondered if he could hear it too—or if his heart was beating just as fast as mine. I wasn't aware he'd let go of one of my wrists until his hand was cupping my cheek, his thumb carefully brushing just below my eye.

"You're beautiful, Rosa."

I watched as his eyes flickered downwards to my lips before back to my eyes several times, my stomach doing several hundred flips. I had never even kissed someone on the cheek, let alone on the mouth! A sudden fear gripped me and I squeezed my eyes shut, not sure what to do.

"And you should sleep."

My eyes snapped back open as he pulled us both upright. I stared at him stupidly as I sat between his legs, unsure if I was being rejected yet again. My heart made the decision for me and I jerked away from him as if I'd been burnt, letting my hair fall over my face as I pulled myself onto my feet.

"Right, sorry, okay," I muttered, forcing myself not to let my voice break. I hadn't expected I would be so hurt.

I was halfway to my bedroll before my arm was grabbed. He didn't pull me back, just stopped me. I kept my eyes firmly on my feet, tracing the lines in my leather boots.

"I didn't—Maker—you don't—" He let out a sigh, pausing in his stammering. "Rosalind." The sound of my name pulled on me, the way he spoke it in an almost reverential way. "Rosalind, please." He took more care in my name than he did with the Maker's.

I turned slowly, eyes traveling the length of his form before I could manage to reach his eyes, lips twisting as I fought against my watering eyes. He looked apologetic, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"You said it, yourself, didn't you? You don't have much.. experience."

My jaw clenched as I slowly nodded my head.

"I don't want to just.. You deserve it to be done right, Rosa. Especially if.." He looked away, unable to bear the weight of my stare. If I stared really hard, I could see his cheeks had been stained pink. He was just as embarrassed as I was. He looked back at me abruptly, brows furrowed. "I'm not going to do anything when I'm supposed to be on watch and either of those two could wake up and interrupt." He let out a soft sigh, the hand on my arm releasing its hold to thread itself into my hair, running down the length of it in a comforting manner.

I slowly let my head nod as I tried to grasp what he was saying. His expression relaxed into a softer one and he leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead in a light kiss.

"Goodnight, Rosa."

"Goodnight, Cullen," I murmured in response, ducking my head in embarrassment. He turned me and nudged me forward with an airy chuckle. I crawled into my bedroll and curled up, the heat of my blush keeping me warm for quite awhile.

.

Zevran burst from under a bush, startling poor Titan into a frenzy. While Cullen calmed the hound, I looked at him expectantly for his report.

"There are what looks to be large wolves walking on two legs ahead." Zev looked pale but otherwise didn't show any signs of surprise.

I looked over at Rio and Cullen blatantly. "Well, let's go say hi, shall we? No attacking them unless they strike first. We only fight them in self-defense. Nothing more. If you can help it, don't kill the poor things. They're cursed, it's not like they chose to be crazy werewolves."

They gave me a look that suggested that they thought I might be crazy, though I think Cullen always gave me that look. I threw a wink to them before sauntering further into the forest.

I heard them before I saw them—and I expected it was the same for them from the snarls. "Hello!" I called out, glancing over my shoulder at my men. Titan growled at my side and I curled my fingers into his brisk fur. He wouldn't attack unless I willed it. "I wish to speak with Swiftrunner!"

We stayed where we were and waited for them to come to us. Titan's ear perked to a sound I couldn't hear, his head turning just a bit. They were circling us.

A being more beast than man pulled himself from the dense forest, pulling his form far taller than any normal man could hope to be. He was covered in corded muscle, as if he were a love interest in a romance novel.. Only covered in fur. My lips curved at the hilarious image of him posing for the cover of a trashy novel, a swooning damsel leaning against his broad chest.

He made a strange noise that was a cross of a grunt and growl making me half wonder if he was suffering from eating too much raw meat—or if he had heard my thoughts.

"The watchwolves have spoken truly, my brothers and sisters," he rumbled, making another weird snorting noise. "The Dalish send a human of all things to repay us for our attack to put us in our place. What bitter irony."

I blinked up at him innocently, head tilting. "I think the irony is that you think the Dalish sent us." I turned my head to frown over at Zev. "Did we meet any Dalish since journeying into the Brecilian Forest?"

Zev tossed me a smirk, shaking his head. "Not at all. I believe we purposefully avoided them."

I nodded to the werewolf, Titan giving a small rumble of warning as two more wolves drew themselves from the forest. I patted his head, scratching behind his ear. The scars on the wolf's face seemed to scrunch as his expression became suspicious.. But it could have been any emotion, really. It was hard to discern expressions when one's face is covered in fur. And when you have a snout that looks like you're perpetually snarling. I decided to push the conversation forward, keeping control on the situation.

"I heard from the old stories that were-beasts were savage creatures, however you walk just as any man and have more presence of mind than most I've met."

"We are beasts," he rumbled, "but we are no longer simple and mindless. Let that thought chill your spine."

My brows raise, nose twisting. "Actually, it gives me warm, fuzzy feelings. Why do I get the idea you are stereotyping me?" I shake my head, directing a smile at the large wolf. "My name is Rosalind. And yours is Swiftrunner."

His eyes narrow and my attention is grabbed by a sudden movement from one of the wolves surrounding us. I quickly found myself holding up a hand to block him, cheeks flushing brightly. The wolf had been scratching a _most_ embarrassing place! Certainly still beasts!

"I do not know how you know my name, but yes. I lead my cursed brothers and sisters. Turn back now, return from where you came."

I let out a soft sigh, trying once more to have him do it of his own free will. "Swiftrunner, I am a Grey Warden. You were once a man, were you not? A Blight has come to Ferelden—we must stand together if we wish to keep our country—your forests—beautiful and free of the taint."

He gave a snarling grunt, lowering his upper half in a menacing gesture.

I didn't let him complete the demand I knew he would have for us, yanking on my magic so quickly it seemed to snap out of my hands painfully before coating my words and my throat.

" _I must speak to the Lady. I want to help her end the curse, to end your suffering."_

Compulsion didn't seem to affect him the same way it did humans, but it did make him pause, his large eyes staring at me as if trying to measure my worthiness and truthfulness.

"You know of the Lady, outsider," he growled.

"Indeed," I returned. "I know a great deal of your curse. I wish to speak to the Lady about a ceasefire—a parley—until I can end the curse once and for all."

He grunted, head turning to that of his pack. There was silence for a long moment and part of me wondered if he was communicating with his pack quietly.

"Very well."

Titan gave a happy bark and Swiftrunner turned his head to the hound, snapping his jaws at him. Titan barked in response.

"A mabari's loyalty is not easily won. Your hound says you are trustworthy and so shall we trust you."

My brows raised—I hadn't expected them to _actually—_

"But only you."

There was always a but.

Cullen and Rio were quick to object but I held my hand up, turning to frown at them. "No matter what, I need to speak with the Lady. Camp here and I will return soon." Cullen opened his mouth but I cut him off once more. "Titan will accompany me. I'll be fine."

Rio pursed his lips, looking rather displeased with me. "I do not like this, Rosa."

"Nor do I!" Cullen seconded.

"Has she not proved her merit as a capable woman? I believe she has had both of you on the ground, several times." Of course, when it came from Zevran's lips it sounded like some kind of innuendo. The two of them grumped, frowning harshly.

"We go now," Swiftrunner barked.

I gave them a little wave. "Don't kill each other while I'm gone!"

Cullen looked at Zev with narrowed eyes. It would all depend on how often Zev made overly sexual remarks.. Which was all the time.

The other two wolves that had shown themselves both walked on either side of me, each leering down at me as we followed Swiftrunner deeper into the forest.

.

There were so many wolves, all howling and roaring in what seemed like resentment that Swiftrunner would bring a human in their midst. Their cries drew the Lady out, however, the woman's hair longer and darker than I remembered in the game but every bit as unclothed. Vines traveled up her legs and arms like an ashen version of poison ivy, her hair providing a veil of modesty over her breasts. Luckily, anything I'd rather not see wasn't on display and I was only mildly uncomfortable standing before a woman who was basically in her underwear or swimsuit. She stares at me curiously as she moves with such grace that I can only hope to achieve, walking past many of her wolves as leaves seemed to fall in her wake. She gives them the lightest of touches with her vine hands, the simple action calming them. It had a ripple effect, one wolf's serenity spilling over to the next like glasses under a steady downpour. Each fell onto one knee as if they were giving the due respect their queen, their Lady deserved. All was silent but for the sound of her feet on the stone floor as she finally reached me and the wolves' loud breathing.

"I bid you welcome, outsider. I am the Lady of the Forest."

Her voice echoed around me but it was more like I was hearing her speak from a few feet away and also in my mind. She swayed like a tree would in the wind and it almost seemed like leaves were dancing around her in circles.

"Thank you.. I am-"

"I know who you are. An immortal being.. having a mortal experience. It is you who has come to be the savior of my children."

Her words reminded me of the spirit I had saved in the Circle, the name she had called me.

"I know of the pain you have endured and your wish for an end. I shall retrieve Zathrian so that we can bring about the end of this curse and your people's suffering."

Swiftrunner looked as if he were seeing me for the first time, the rage in his eyes lessening but only just.

The spirit looked on me kindly, her blank face softening. "It seems wholly unlikely that an outsider would appear to help us, but you are no simple outsider."

I looked around the room, at all the creatures that were more than beast and less than man. They were just like me. While I had chosen this for myself, they did not. They didn't deserve that kind of life.

"No.. I am not. No one deserves to live as this, cursed. I will find Zathrian and tell him of your plight. Those he wished to punish have been dead and gone for centuries. What right do you have to pay for the sins of those long since have died? I shall end this blood feud Zathrian has desperately clung to. I came to you for this reason, to ensure no more lives would be lost."

I see that my words have had some kind of affect on her as she turns to look at each of the wolves in turn with a fondness no one could deny. I could see that she would risk anything for her people. Even herself. She turned her head back to me, pupils silver and black where there should have been white. "We will await your return. Swiftrunner will guide you back to your camp safely."

.

"All that is left is to decide how to approach this."

My companions all stared at me blankly, as if I'd just started speaking in tongues rather than in common. Even Titan, who's head was resting on my thigh, looked up at me with his large eyes.

Creepier still was when they all blinked at me at the same time as if they were of one mind.

"What?"

Cullen cleared his throat, hand raising to rub against the back of his neck. "Normally.. You already have a plan. It just seems out of character for you to open it up for debate."

"You have an insight that we cannot contend with," Zevran nodded as he stroked his chin.

I rolled my eyes at them. "This is a bit of a deviation from the timeline I have 'seen'." I held up my fingers, making quotations around the word. It wasn't quite lying—I was simply making them believe it was a different type of _seen_ rather than just haven't seen it on a computer screen.

I'm a horrible person.

"Can we not just go to the Dalish camp and speak carefully with the Keeper?" Rio asked, a frown crossing his lips. It almost looked like they were displeased with me asking for their opinions—like they were simply content to follow my lead blindly.

Somehow, the thought did not sit well with me. That was a large amount of trust they were placing on me.

I folded my arms, staring into our fire as I contemplated it. Even in the game, Zathrian had not consented to ending the curse until after you'd beaten the daylights out of him and conveniently beating sense into him while you were at it. If at all possible, I would prefer to avoid fighting as much as possible—less bloodshed and more likely to secure more people in the upcoming battle of the Blight—allowing me to be more useful than harmful to my brother's purpose.

"You are making this far more difficult than it is required to be. Roza and I should use the dead of night as a cloak, capture this old man, and return to the wolves. We can reason with him along the way."

While there was certainly disapproval for that method from our comrades, the idea did seem preferable.. But then his clan would know he was kidnapped and killed. Doesn't quite make them sympathetic to my cause.

"While I would prefer that, Zev, it would be better in the long run to reason with him, I believe."

Cullen nodded. "Yes, I am sure that could cause less problems in the long run."

I let out a sigh as I stretched my limbs. "Well then, we all best get some sleep then. We'll deal with the Keeper bright and early tomorrow. Hopefully, we can have all this unpleasantness behind us by tomorrow evening."

I knew it wouldn't be simple, however. Rio and I shared a glance and a frown—the darkspawn that had found their way from Ostagar into the forest would sense me soon enough. I could only pray that Duncan had reached the crazy bloodmage in the north by now and was forcing him to come up with a way to protect me from darkspawn detection.

The longer I continued to put people I cared about in danger, the flimsier my resolve came to not try to seek out the Archdemon alone. I guessed that made me a runner.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sorry if this chapter seems a little choppy and all over the place. I'm having a hard time taking the Brecilian Forest arch slowly—I just want to reunite Rosa with Adrien and Alistair! Thank you for my lovely reviews—they never stop bringing joy to my heart! (And my soul, if I had one cause ginger.)

Those of you that prefer Cullen to Alistair—good things come to those who wait. That's all I'm sayin'.

Toodles~

Jane.


	17. XVI: The Beginning of the End

There was something strange in the air here—in a place so wholly untouched by man. It called to me, as did the trees and halla. The forest made me feel safer than I had in months—there was something about this place that made it harder for darkspawn to find me. Perhaps it was the natural energy from the earth, the forest accepting me and giving me shelter from the storms.

Fire cracked and snapped, the soft light allowing me to work on my potions. It was strange, sitting out in the open without fear of the darkspawn and the forest absent of howls. The once werewolves were gone, traveling North in search of a better life than what they had known as beasts.

"If you keep it up, you'll have nothing left," a gruff voice grumbled from my side, causing me to pull myself from my thoughts as I blinked down at my motar and pestle. It was true—what I was trying to make into a powder had become so fine that there was nearly none of it left. "'S'alright to think about other things, so long as you don't think so hard."

I looked over my shoulder to the man seated on the log, his eerie yellow eyes practically glowing as he stared down at me. His face had grown familiar in the last few weeks with his feral expression that never seemed to leave him. He smirked at me, brow raising as I glowered up at him. "Swiftie, you can always take over if you think you can do better."

Swiftrunner's smirked grew more pronounced, lips pulling up to flash sharp teeth as he rolled his eyes. "There would be no point in that, would there?"

I added more elfroot and started over again, keeping a more careful eye on the plants. I glanced once more at Swiftie from the corner of my eye, not for the first time wondering why he decided to stay with us. Everyone was supposed to go, to live their lives and find their way in the world—not insisting on following me on my road to hell.

He oversaw my herbalism attempts for a while longer before he retired for the night, saying something about not staying up with the moon anymore, leaving me to my thoughts.

I could make out the Dalish campfires in the distance—they were having another ritual as they honored the memory of their now deceased Keeper, Zathrian. It was the second one this week and probably the seventh since the werewolves had been freed. The sounds of the party drifted over to us and I was thankful that in the end we'd simply talked it out with the old elf. The Dalish were not welcoming at first—but then, they never really are. They keep to their own, trying to preserve their history and failing miserably. They were suspicious of outsiders and more so towards humans.

Everything worked out for the better despite the Keeper's and the Lady's deaths and the elves regarded us as heroes for our role in saving those infected with the curse. I leaned back against the log, head falling back to stare up at the moon. I didn't feel like a hero—I felt like a liar, saying words not my own to get what I wanted. It made me uncomfortable that so many people looked at me with awe in their eyes, as if I could do no wrong. Didn't they know how manipulative I'd become?

My gaze dropped to the tents that my companions slept in. How long had it been since I'd slept deeply enough that I woke feeling rested? Nightmares plagued me, filled with darkspawn and death, the beasts letting out disgusting laughter as they made me into something tainted. I knew exactly how it would feel, the blood lust painting my sight in red, wishing nothing more than to destroy, taint, kill...

My arms wrapped around myself as I let out a shaky breath, fingers rubbing over my arms to fight the goosebumps that rose. That wasn't me, I vowed silently as my brows lowered over my eyes. Anger at this situation boiled within me, the flames of campfire shooting to the sky in response.

It took several moments to reign in the black rage, the flames dying. I watched it until it became embers, slowly releasing my grip on myself. I needed to make lists, plans. It forced me to be rational, to see things from a calmer point of view.

The elves let out a large whoop in the distance, distracting me. And then I knew—there were mages here. I didn't need Morrigan or Wynne to learn and cultivate my abilities. Resources were at my fingertips.

All I had to do was reach out and grab them.

.

The days blurred into weeks and I did what I could to keep myself busy. I contented myself with learning from the elven mages, scavenging plants in the forest, Swiftie's gruff herb lessons, and imaging what Adrien must be going through. I kept thinking it could only be a few days before my brother finished his business with the dwarves and lead his party here.

The thought terrified me. It made my defensive magic snap from potential energy to kinetic, attacking those who stood too close. It made me grind my plants to dust. It made me snap at Titan and cry myself to sleep. How would they even react to seeing me? The fact that he sent Zev after me said that he was worried about me, but what if the time apart had changed his mind? Would he forgive me when he realized I'd ensured a small army of Grey Wardens had survived Ostagar? Adrien was no doubt preparing Alistair for the possibility of him becoming king. Would he appreciate me after ensuring his half-brother survived? Or was he so different in this strange version of Origins that he _wanted_ to be king?

The what ifs and multiple scenarios I could visualize only tormented me as the end drew near and I tried to make peace with my approaching death.

I tried to ignore the regret that twisted my stomach into knots. I had a limited time in this world and yet I had decided to separate myself from the one person that could offer me the familial love I had always longed for. It was easy to forget that I'd left to protect him when I had the forest protecting me and firm wards that would protect me as soon as I left.

I stabbed my trusty stick into the dying fire, coaxing the embers to feed on the logs Rio had so kindly tossed in. My hand hovered over the embers when the traditional manner did not give me the results I wanted, pulling on my magic as I twisted my fingers about. The fire fed off my magic energy, fanning out over the legs and offered me a satisfying crack in payment.

My simple pleasure from the fire did not last long, however, my head snapping up as my ward at the entrance of the forest was breached. My comrades noticed the change in me immediately, my small band around the fire tensing as they looked to me for explanation. The ward could not be bothered unless it was a warden.. or darkspawn. Either way, it felt like an enemy was certainly approaching.

I let my head fall back, finding the strange moons high in the sky. Had there only been one, I could have kidded myself into believing I was still on Earth. The strange spheres seemed to call to me, filling me with a sense of calm that I didn't possess on my own.

Climbing to my feet, I slung my quiver over my back before gathering my bow. I turned from my companions almost in a trance, moving towards where I had felt the breach.

"Rosa?" Cullen called from the fire, standing.

His confused voice pulled me to a stop, turning only enough that I would be able to look at all of them. "Sorry, I need a moment to myself. I'll be back soon," I promised, the lie of omission slipping off my tongue easier than it should have been.

They nodded at me though Swiftie inspected me as if he sensed something was off.

"If you can find one of those rabbits—"

"Yes, Zev, I'll pick it up if I see one."

I could see his grin without looking at him as I turned away, his response lost in the swirling of my thoughts. I moved through the Dalish's camp with measured steps, nodding to those still up that acknowledged me. I found myself wishing it was a group of Darkspawn that had decided to tread too close to the Dalish. The stress of waiting for my brother and Duncan's groups to rejoin me was driving me to distraction and I very much needed to kill something that might cry out in pain.

Sick, but it would make me feel better.

The scouts I passed on the way out gave me a strange look as they watched me go. As soon as I knew I was out of their sight, my legs could no longer take the slow pace. I broke out into a run, racing forward—careless of how much noise I was making and no doubt announcing my presence to anything that cared.

I skidded to a stop as soon as I could feel the presence of two Grey Wardens and nearly broke down right there. I had to lean against a tree and catch my breath. I could feel the two presences stop—they felt me as well. My mouth went dry as my heart continued to pound despite my stillness, my insides twisting as if I had an ulcer. All the what ifs and scenarios forced their way to the forefront of my mind, immediately making me regret not bringing anyone with me.

I'd hoped a little too hard that it would be darkspawn.

I stopped breathing as I felt one of the presences suddenly charge forward, leaving the other behind. It was only a matter of seconds before I could hear the sound of someone in heavy plate thunder through the forest. Maybe it was the rumored twin telepathy I had always heard about, but I _knew_ it was Adrien running towards me.

And then he was there.

The man that appeared before me was not the same brother I had known. He drew up short as he caught sight of me, panting heavily as he eyed his runaway sister. He looked like he had aged over the months apart, his face covered in a light beard and his eyes those of a seasoned warrior.

And then he blinked those green eyes and I saw all the pain I'd caused him.

My bow clattered to the ground.

I didn't know if I raced to him or he to me or if we met somewhere in the middle. All I know was there was a moment of incredible pain and the next it was being soothed by the strength of his arms around my slim frame. I barely noticed the metal planes of his armor digging into me, the way his gauntlets had snagged my hair, or that we'd sunk to the pine needle floor.

.

It felt like ages that I cried against his chest but as soon as we were separating, it felt too short. Once more, I was reminded of how close we were to the end—how close we were to my death. Once I died, I'd be off to the next adventure, but would this be the last I would see of my brother? I might not be truly Rosalind Cousland, but Adrien was mine. He was more family than the ones I had on Earth, the first to show me unconditional love.

Would I recover from the blow of losing him?

Fingers brushed tears that spilled, dampening the tear tracks that had dried on my cheeks. "Rosie, your crying face isn't cute at all."

The brotherly jab had me giving him a look that was in between a grimace and a glare. "Yeah, well at least I don't have snot dripping from my face."

He gave a good-natured chuckle, the pads of his fingers wiping at my cheeks. I hadn't even noticed he'd taken off his gauntlets. "I am glad you've stayed safe."

I gave him a watered down smile, rolling my eyes. "I've stayed alive. And busy. The elves are prepared to go to war."

His brows raised, his hand smoothing over my hair. "I did not think you would have enough time to finish. Your notes said there would be problems with the Keeper and the spirit."

I shrugged my shoulders, stilling as I felt the other warden presence start to move towards us. It had hung back, giving us privacy for our reunion. Adrien's eyes caught mine, shaking his head just a little. He knew I wanted to run.

I always wanted to run.

He helped me to stand and we waited for Alistair to step into the clearing. He was much like Adrien—he was older after saving Arl Eamon, facing Dwarven politics, and the Deep Roads. His amber eyes stared at me as if he were looking at an apparition, eyes wide and mouth slack.

And then the rest of their companions materialized behind him.

"Move, you big oaf!"

Morrigan's voice was just as cross when it came to Alistair, her raven head appearing behind him as she forced her way in front of him. She crossed the distance between us quickly after her golden eyes fell on me and in a very un-Morrigan-like manner, she drew me in for a hug.

It only lasted a few moments before she drew back and stared at me with anger and worry clear in her eyes. "I dare you to pull such a stunt once more, Rosalind. You shall not enjoy the consequences, that I promise you."

Even as she threatened me, I knew she was just caring at me loudly.

I smiled softly at her, nodding. "No worries, Morrigan. I won't run away again." But I would die.

The corner of her lip twitched and her eyes narrowed just a bit. She knew I was hiding something. But she didn't have time to draw it out of me as Leliana was suddenly there, wrapping her arms around me and Wynne behind her to lecture me about how my rash actions affected everyone.

I heard a loud belch and I turned away from the females to grin down at the dwarf. "Ogren. It is good to see you."

He glared through his drunken haze. "D'I know yew, human?" he grunted.

I shook my head. "No, but you will."

Anders's hand rested on my head, the mage smiling down at me. "I'm glad to see my liberator is safe." And then he did a quick scan of the area, paranoia making him anxious. "Where's that templar? Did you ditch him somewhere?"

I laughed quietly, shaking my head. "He's back at camp. I came to collect you so that you won't have to deal with the Dalish threatening you in their usual 'outsiders are evil' routine."

Soon enough we were heading back to my camp, easily passing the scouts after offering them a few quick words. It didn't escape my notice that Alistair had not attempted to speak to me. From the way Adrien glanced between us, he hadn't either.

.

I had expected a large uproar when we returned, Rio and Cullen to stare at me distrustfully and Zev to shoot me an admirable look. What I got was the exact opposite. Loud barking announced my return which quickly changed into excitement as Titan tackled Adrien into the ground before quickly moving to conquer Alistair as well. My companions were still sitting where I had left them, each of them looking comfortable and at home with the situation. Their return was something I had prepped them for, after all.

They all seemed to stare each other down for a solid moment, Cullen being the one to break the silence. "Anders, good to see you kept your word."

Anders immediately bristled, brows furrowing in a look of disdain, "I am a man of my word, unlike your order."

I let out a sigh, holding up my arm, "No fighting from any of you, if you please. It is late and they have been traveling for quite awhile. Cullen, Rio, help them settle in. Zev, gather more wood—I doubt they have eaten and will need a few more hours of fire."

Cullen, Rio, and Zev gave me a nod before separating to do their assigned tasks. Adrien and Alistair started pulling things off Bodhan's cart, my brother looking over his shoulder at me with a pointed look. I let my eyes flicker to Alistair before looking back at Adrien.

"Come to the brook to the east once you're finished." He knew that I had made that command for both him and Alistair.

Nodding, he went back to getting ready to pitch his tent.

I caught Alistair staring as I turned away and felt his eyes following me as I made my way to the brook. Once again, we would have a warden meeting where I would shatter their worlds by telling them what to expect. Explaining to Alistair he no longer would be pushed into the position of fighting over the throne—that he was once again master of his life (for the most part).

Only a few moments and yet my now complete party was already causing me to stress. I let out a sigh as I left my camp behind, every step closer to the babbling brook bringing me more comfort and peace. The sounds of the water bubbling and spilling over rocks drew me closer until I stepped around a large tree to reveal the natural wonder.

It was serene and beautiful—the moon's light was reflected on the black waters and I was surrounded by the sounds of nature. Owls called out, crickets chirped and the leaves of trees swayed in the wind. I brought myself to the edge of the water, lowering myself to cup my hands around a mouthful of water.

I could feel my soul soothing as the cool liquid traveled down my throat, filling me with a sense of ease. One of the one things that never ceased to amaze me was the water in this world.

I was still drinking my fill when I heard the sound of sticks and plants snapping underfoot. I pulled back from the stream and wiped my face as I pulled myself up onto my feet and turned to watch them pull themselves from the dark forest.

Alistair stopped a few paces back while Adrien came to my side, placing a hand on my head with a look that clearly spoke of how much he missed seeing my face. "So, what did you need to tell us, Rosie?" He got a stern look on his face. "Not going to leave us again, are you?"

My nose wrinkled—I wasn't, not yet anyways. My hair flew around me as I shook my head, frowning up at him. "No, I have news though." I looked up to meet Alistair's eyes. "You'll want to be sitting for this, however."

They looked at me with slight distrust in their eyes, a look that I deserved but hurt me nonetheless. They lowered themselves to the ground, Alistair still keeping his distance. I followed suit, quickly recalling another time we'd had an only warden meeting like this away from the others. A time that was less tense to be sure.

I looked between the two before settling on Alistair. "Did Eamon make any suggestions about the possibility of you taking the throne?"

His frame went rigid and I could practically see how his thoughts whirled, fighting against anyone trying to tell him who he had to be.

"Yes," Adrien answered for him.

I took a breath before trying to offer him an understanding look. "You do not have to worry, Alistair. You will not be king."

His lips curled downwards into a frown. "How?" It was the first word he had spoken to me since I had left. My memory had not done the timbre of his voice justice.

I folded my hands in my lap, glancing down at them as I hesitated. I shook my head, calling myself a coward for the hesitation. "Cailan and Duncan are alive."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** It's been awhile.. But the gangs all back together finally! Bit of filler in here and I'm sorry about that. We'll be hitting the streets of Denerim soon and there will be a question I'll need to take a poll over- whether you want to stick around in Thedas for a bit longer or move on to somewhere like.. Lord of the Rings? Huh? Eh? Think about it, dear readers.

Until next time!

Jane


	18. XVII: Teasing and Failed Romancing

The flags of Denerim waved proudly in the distance and suddenly everything became that much more real to me. I felt like I was a lamb, being led to slaughter. And in a way, I was. Before I came here, Rosalind Cousland probably wasn't meant to be the savior of this blight. I stared at the backs of the men striding proudly in ragged armor. They might as well have been strutting in regal attire with all the confidence they held between the two of them. It didn't matter that they couldn't don the colors of the wardens proudly—they were wardens on the inside. One of them was supposed to save this world.

Adrien turned his head as trudged forward, catching me watching. He slowed enough to walk at my pace, his arm dropping over my shoulders in a very brotherly gesture as he pulled me flush into his armored side. The plate dug into my leather clad shoulders and I gave him an irritated stare. "Now I _know_ Mother taught you not to stare," he teased, earning him an eye roll.

"I don't think you want to play this game, Adrien," I warned as my lips curled into a good-natured smile. "We could talk about the time," my eyes slid from him to the redhead in front of us chatting amicably with Anders as I stalled to sort through the fuzzed memories. "When you—"

Adrien had caught where my eyes had darted, quickly shaking me to cut me off. "Okay, okay, okay," he muttered quietly, glaring down at me. "You win, as always, Rose."

Alistair's shoulders shook in front of us, and Adrien grumped. "Something funny, Al?"

The ginger turned his head slightly, sending a smirk towards me. "Were you going to bring up the time he shaved your mother's cat or the time—"

"Shut up!" he hissed, his glare darting from Alistair to me as giggles escaped me.

"No," I laughed, my head shaking. "The time when he thought Gil was a girl and tried to woo him," I snickered as the memory became less fuzzy.

Adrien groaned loudly, drawing the curious eyes of our party. Alistair slowed his pace, walking next to me. It was at the perfect timing as well, as Adrien had raised his gauntlet covered hand to gift me with a nuggie, Alistair swiftly plucked me from his grip, becoming a human shield as we both laughed.

"I remember that," Alistair continued much to my brother's chagrin. "Gilmore actually just thought he was trying to befriend him, poor kid. His mother should have known better than to send such a girlish looking boy to the castle with long hair."

"Adrien forever had a reputation, too!" I recalled, grinning up at him. He smiled down at me, his eyes softening as we gazed at each other, our laughter slowly fading out as we realized how awkward this was becoming. We'd not had such a light conversation in ages and it showed.

"Rosalind," Alistair began quietly, his eyes suddenly darting about, remembering we were not alone. Our party surrounded us as we moved north, the end finally in sight. My end in sight. "Can we talk tonight? Just you and me?"

Anxiety rushed through me for a moment, jaw clenching at the typical man way of saying 'we need to talk'. He should know better than that. I wasn't sure what exactly he wanted to talk about, though. What was there to say?

"..Alright," I agreed, nodding. I knew I was going to regret this.

.

It made sense for us to divide our group. Those that could easily pass for normal commoners and travelers were sent into the city (Leliana, Wynne, Cullen, and Swiftie) to find us a place to stay while the rest of us waited for dark to enter the city. Of course, Morrigan, the dwarves, Shale and Sven set up camp outside of the city permanently. It would be hard to go around unnoticed with three dwarves, a Qunari, a witch from the swamps, an elf, and a sadistic golem.

With the encounters that could occur within its gates, the worst of it would happen with any warden or Zev. Titan was sent with them to make a full party, leaving me feeling just a little lonely. Cullen had sent me a long stare before leaving, looking as if there was something he needed to say but thought better of it.

Once they were gone and the rest of us went about doing upkeep on weapons and the like, Alistair shot me a meaningful look from across camp. "Rosalind, would you help me gather wood?"

It was a ruse, of course, but I nodded anyways as I stood and moved to his side, following him deeper into the forest. We'd found a nice clearing on the edge of the forest, invisible from the outside looking in. Perfect to hide from patrols with.

Alistair made nearly no sound as we moved further away from the camp, his heavy plate back at camp. He carried a single short sword strapped to his side as he kept a respectful distance next to me, neither of us saying a word.

The sounds of camp died away with each step we took, and even then Alistair traveled further, filling me with anxiety. Just what did he have to say that forced him to go so far? I was imagining hundreds of scenarios in the time it took for us to travel from camp to where Alistair deemed far enough. He caught me by surprise when he suddenly stopped and turned towards me, towering several heads above. His eyes were filled with longing and worry, his fists opening and closing rapidly.

"Why did you leave?" Accusation smothered the words, his amber eyes baring down on me. He shook his head—that wasn't the question he wanted answered. "Why did you leave _me_?"

I blinked up at him, brows furrowing. "My presence had become a hindrance."

He shook his head once more, taking a step forward. His large frame had blocked out the sun, and I instinctively took a step back as he attempted to enter my personal space. "That's not what I asked you."

My eyes narrowed at him, annoyance rising. What right did he have to question me? Someone that had treated Rosalind like she meant nothing until I took her place. "My leaving wasn't about you. I left because it was causing contention. And it was good, too—"

"How was it good?" He questioned, cutting me off. "You were kidnapped!"

"Yeah, and look what came out of it! I got Rio out! We know about Duncan and your half-brother!"

"That means nothing at the expense of what it did to you!"

My face was red, my shoulders shaking as I gulped down deep breaths that did nothing to calm me. "What do you know about that?"

"You're different," he said, his voice lowering. "You're.. Sometimes.. I feel like you're going to change back to who you were months ago."

"Afraid I'll become a doll, again?" I sneered, anger raising even higher. "What do you care? _You don't even like me."_ My voice had come out as a hiss as I spat out the one statement that I had carried with me for weeks, slowly poisoning me.

His hands wrapped around my shoulders so quickly that I couldn't dodge and he shook me just a bit to get his point across. "Because I do care! _I love you!_ "

The words stopped the world as we stared at each other in disbelief and bewilderment.

He was the first to draw away, snatching his hands back as he started stammering. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," he muttered, hands rubbing across his face. "I had a plan with a rose.."

I took a deep breath, calm settling over me. "Your newest weapon?" I murmured.

"Yes!" he nodded before he shook his head. "Take that darkspawn," he muttered before looking up at me with wide eyes. "Wait, did you already _see_ that?!"

I blinked at him before giving him a shrug.

"Dammit!" he cursed, hands moving to his hair, attempting to pull it out.

I took a deep breath, my answer already made before I reached out to save his hair. He stilled as my fingers brushed his wrists, his eyes opening to look down at me questioningly.

"..How long?"

"Forever," he answered instantly. I raised my brow in disbelief.

"You wanted me to be tranquil."

"I wanted to get a reaction out of you."

"You didn't tell Adrien otherwise when he said you didn't care about me."

He let out a breath, his hands releasing his hair and slipping to cradle my head between his palms. "You were awake," he whispered, thumbs brushing over my cheeks. He let out a sigh, quickly drawing me into the circle of his arms, tightening his hold on me. Escape was impossible and I wasn't sure if I wanted to anyways. "Of course you were. I left your tent that morning, dragged your brother out into the woods and beat him up. Because he _knows_ how I feel about you."

"Why.. then?"

"Because he never approved of my childish way to get you to react."

"..Well, you did slap me a few times."

"I got a worse beating, believe me. I was hoping it would be from you." He drew back, pushing my darker red hair from my forehead before resting his own against mine. "I'm sorry I was a dick as a child. Will you forgive me, Rosa?"

The decision had already been made, of course. The moment I reached out to him, it had been made. I wrapped my arms around his neck before tilting my head and sealing it with the softest press of our lips.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I figured a short chapter would be okay since the end is coming and I need to get back into the swing of things. Would you all accept my excuse of _**getting married**_ as an adequate reason to be AWOL? No? Drats.

Anyways, the end is upon us but I still have lots of stuff planned. Anyone interested in watching Lillian travel to DAII? What I love about this series of fanfics that I've started is that I'm gonna be throwing her into _tons_ of fandoms. And she's just going to become more of a beast. Soooooo, thoughts dear reader? (Especially since I literally have about nine fandoms planned with over 200k words written in all. I just get nervous when the end gets closer and procrastinate with future stories. Like Legolas.)

I promise you will see me soon! Until then,

Jane Swan


	19. XVIII: The Assassin's Closure

Just how often did I tell myself I was stupid?

 _All the flipping time._

Cullen. Why had my encounter with Alistair made me forget all about him?

 _Because I had always loved Alistair._

Even when he was just a video game character.

Alistair clung to my side at all times, shadowing my every move and making certain Cullen knew just how much of an item we had become. I could see just how hurt Cullen looked at it.. but I didn't know how to broach the subject with him.

" _I've always loved Alistair and when given the choice, I went with him."_ Yeah. I'm not that horrible.

I'd romanced Cullen once in Inquisition—I'd always loved seeing him pop up in each of the games, happily accepting him as a consolation prize when I couldn't have Alistair in DA:I.

Ugh. Just thinking of them like they were still video game characters made me sick. These were real people with _feelings._ Or at least they seemed like it to me and the pain was certainly real.

Oh, I was so screwed.

The feelings of self-loathing weren't allowed to stay around for long, however. They were banished the moment Alistair took my hand, throwing me the sweetest smile along with a soft peck to my cheek as he pulled me along. My anxiety lessened as we walked under the gates of Denerim, Adrien frowning at the two of us as we kept to the backroads.

"Try to pay attention to your surroundings, will you?" he grumbled, muttering something under his breath.

I didn't have it in me to feel chastised.

"You're just missing Leliana," Alistair smirked, hitting the nail on the head.

It didn't take long to get to the shady inn Cullen led us to and even less time for us to be settled in our respective rooms. Alistair walked me to my room, smiling sweetly down at me when the door opened, Leliana standing there with a packed bag.

"I see you've outdone yourself, Alistair," she grinned and the two of them _high-fived_ before she squeezed out of the small room and Alistair ushered me inside, closing the door behind him.

It didn't take long for me to connect the dots. "..You planned that."

He raised his brows at me like he didn't know what I was talking about. "Planned what?" he asked as he dropped his pack next to the bed and plopped down with a pleased sigh.

I didn't take long before I pounced, landing next to him on the bed and bouncing him slightly. "This—with Leliana!"

"Hmm, did I?" he asked with a small grin before reaching up and dragging me down on top of his chest, fingers running through my hair in a comforting manner. "If I did.. I must be a genius, no?"

"Pfft," I snorted quietly. "Your ego is big enough, I think."

He yawned, rolling over with me wrapped around him. "Mmm, so sleepy," he murmured before burrowing his head into my shoulder. "Go to sleep."

I pulled against him—I was still in my leathers and he still had a sword strapped to his side. I definitely wasn't going to sleep like this.

"Alistair," I groaned as I strained and struggled to free myself. "I can't sleep in my armor!" I grumped.

"Oh?" One eye popped open, staring at me in a way that made a blush rush to my cheeks. "Shall I help you out of them?"

"No, thank you," I groaned, shaking my head furiously. That was one thing I didn't want to think about yet—losing my virginity. It's not something I've ever done—in this life or the first. The thought scared me.

He smoothed his hands over my hair, hushing me. "I'm kidding, love." He released me, sending me a sweet smile as he pulled himself up as well. "Take your time. Can I sleep with my shirt off?"

My lips twitched, my face catching even more fire at the thought of him shirtless. "...Um. Yes. Please. I mean, you can." I let out a soft groan, trying to turn away in my embarrassment. He didn't let me hide, of course.

A hand slipped behind my head to grip the hair at the base of my neck, the other cupping my cheek to keep my head in place. "You're adorable, Rosie." His eyes were soft, almost almond honey, as he gazed down at me. His head dipped downwards, pressing his lips against mine.

I was going to keep count of how many he gave me. Number two was just as sweet as the first.

.

I could feel his warmth as he held me close, Alistair's nose nuzzling against my collar. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressing my face into his hair.

"I want you," he breathes against me, hands roaming over my body. The last vestiges pulled at my form and I couldn't think of a single reason why not as my body arched up into him of its own accord.

He raised his head, amber eyes gazing down at me. I let out a breath, startling at the look in them. There was something wrong, off, about their golden depths. I couldn't that soft affection he had looked at me with when declaring his love, lust taking its place like a parasite. Only lust and the need to dominate and possess.

This wasn't my Alistair.

Instantly, I was aware that this was a dream as I struggled against the impostor, the room around us disintegrating into darkness. All I could see was him, his lips curling into something cruel and sadistic as he realized his hold was lost on me.

"Oh?" he murmured quietly. "How curious.." His voice took on a deeper tone, losing Alistair's accent. It was less garbled than usual, but it was still the voice that starred in my nightmares. I blinked and the eyes that stared down at me became so dark a green that they looked black, his face morphing from something lovely and pure to evil and sinister.

He held a face I'd never seen before, handsome yet tinged with darkness. Dark hair, dark eyes, straight nose, square jaw. He chose this face for its symmetrical beauty, banking on it to aid him.

"Perhaps I will kill that man.. then you will have no choice but to become mine," he sneered, his tongue slithering out like a snake and swiping up the length of my cheek.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

"I'm going to kill you," I growl out with more force than I felt I had.

He laughed, his fingers traveling once more and pinching me harshly on the thigh. "I will enjoy breaking you, my queen."

"Who's your queen?" I hiss as I lean forward and sink my teeth into the Archdemon's shoulder with all the mental strength I had.

I awoke, air hissing through my teeth and the flesh I had chomped down on—my arm. It took a moment to force myself to release it, drops of blood welling up in the divots my teeth created. I let out a soft sigh, glancing over at the form sleeping next to me, Alistair's chest rising steadily. I thanked whatever deity—my angel of death, perhaps—watched over me that I didn't bite _him_ instead and left him blissfully unaware as I slipped out of bed and padded quietly to where my pack was. Moments later I was dressed enough to take a stroll through the back roads, daggers hidden on my form and my longest one—a short sword really—strapped to my side.

I needed to clear my head, get fresh air. Pretend the Archdemon wasn't taunting me in my dreams. Pretend the end wasn't coming.

Early morning Denerim was calm, the hustle and bustle missing that left me feeling invigorated. It wasn't anything like the woods where I truly felt comfortable, but the air was still clean.. if you could ignore people throwing out their chamber pots. At least that wouldn't start for another few hours.

In my mindless wandering, I'd gone a tad bit too far and quickly set about to return to the inn where my friends and brother probably still slept.. But it was too late.

"It seems I hit the jackpot," a voice from the shadows stated, a tall man appearing before me just as I turned around.

I cursed myself—shouldn't I have noticed his presence at the very least? Was I so shook up from the Archdemon's visit in my dreams? It took me a moment to place his face, his study leathers covering lean muscle as he rested his hands on the hilts of the daggers at his sides.

I was only in cloth and while I'd lined my clothing with daggers.. I couldn't afford to be hit. Those wicked blades would be covered in poison—I could guarantee that. Zevran did the same.

"The Crows send their regards, my dear. As well as Arl Howe." He tsk'ed at me, shaking his head. "You've made powerful enemies. How unfortunate for you to be without your wardens. No matter, all I have to do is follow your tracks." He grinned, looking rather pleased to find me alone.

I casted my eyes about the empty alleyway, finally taking notice of two other presences. He'd not come alone. At least they hadn't come prepared with a Templar in tow. Howe didn't know about my abilities yet, then.

"Now.. Come along quietly and I _promise_ to make their deaths fast."

I could smell the lie on his breath—he was excited for the act of murdering everyone I cared for. I saw red.

"I have told you often," a voice called from the darkness next to me. It shattered my grip on the magic I was gathering, forcing me to focus on the intruder. It took me a moment to recognize whether he was friend or foe in my fury, blinking as a blond elf drew himself from the shadows with a disappointed look in his eyes as he stared down the man that was once his friend. Information trickled into my mind, reminding me that he had once been romantically involved with this man. " _Never_ underestimate your opponent, Taliesen."

The Antivan raised his brow, his eyes flickering from the elf to me, measuring me and finding me wanting. "This little girl? Have you been training her, Zevran?"

"She did not need it."

Taliesen shook his head, overlooking his words. He was calling his bluff, a fatal move. "Thank you for saving me the trouble of tracking you down, old friend. You can return with me—I know why you did this and I don't blame you. It's not too late—"

"Ah, but that it is," Zev spoke up, shaking his head as if there was nothing to be done about it now. "I have allied myself with the Grey Wardens—I have allied myself with this woman."

The look on Taliesen's face told me that Howe _still_ didn't realize I was a Grey Warden. "Do you wish to die so much?"

Finally under control, I stilled the magic in blood, fingertips playing with the tip of my short sword's hilt. "Zev will have no issues surviving. The same cannot be said about _you_."

Taliesen's brows rose, a condescending smirk pulling at his lips. "Ah, that is why you are interested in this one. She has Rinna's fire."

That was a mistake. His last one.

At the name, Zevran let out a roar of pain. One moment he stood near me, the next he'd disappeared and reappeared behind Taliesen. Obviously, the man had never truly sparred with Zev while he was serious—the assassin did not waste time in slitting his throat.

I could hear his accomplices attempting to flee—they knew not to go up against Zev by their lonesome—but I could not allow any to escape. Hidden daggers flew faster than I ever had before, hitting home in each of their backs. Dissatisfaction welled in me but I knew it was best for Zev to take the kill—for his closure.

He stared at the body—he hadn't bothered to move away after killing him, even with others that needed to be put down. The man was sure to be feeling so many emotions—betrayal, depression, anger, all of it clumped up in a massive pile of pain.

"You are uninjured?" he asks quietly, his accent thick.

"Yes."

He nodded, slowly looking up at me. "He deserved a quick death. He was a good friend.."

"I know," I murmur, taking a deep breath to calm myself more. I was grateful that he had stopped me from showing anyone my true potential—I had been so close to razing everything to the ground. Nothing else mattered except that he was threatening my family. "We need to get back. Howe knows we're here and he made the first move."

Zev nodded, shadowing my steps just as I was sure he'd done on my way out of the inn.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Welp, I'm back after a day. Here to shove more entertainment your way! 2k words this time but I'll probably not be back until 5k words later for the next chapter. We'll see if I can get past Denerim quests. Thanks for your reviews, they always help propel me forward!

Toodles!

Jane Swan


	20. XIX: Tomorrow We Die

Blood was smeared everywhere. How does one man bleed so much? Absently, I registered the crowd moving around me as everyone hailed the returning king and the death of a traitor but I couldn't focus on anything.

The end was near.

I could feel it, like a thousands of mosquitoes sinking their tiny straws into my flesh and robbing me of precious fluids while leaving behind pain that would hurt me for days to come.

Alistair caught my eye, shooting me a grin. He was so pleased that wasn't him up there on the throne and had me to thank for it. His smile pulled a small one from my lips in return, my heart breaking just a little at the gesture.

Once more, I called myself an idiot. Why did I allow myself to become involved with someone so close to the end? If I was going to put myself through so much pain in the first place, why didn't I just let it happen in the very beginning? At least then, I would be able to enjoy being with him and _maybe_ I wouldn't die a virgin!

It had been a bit less than two weeks since we'd reached Denerim and had completed so much already. Howe was dealt with (Adrien enjoyed it too much), contact made with Duncan—who had news from the crazy blood mage warden in the north about aiding in the Calling—dealt with Anora and her scheming ways, and now her father's blood decorated the king's court. We even ran into Isabela—and I drunk her under the table. She wouldn't be able to live that down for months.

Through everything, I had been less than aware for it, running on autopilot as I slowly shut down. I wasn't even sure if anyone had noticed anything was adrift. I hadn't noted anyone giving me strange looks.

Everything was handled and now I was going to face my death in three days time. Or less.

How was someone supposed to act when they _knew_ they were about to die?

Probably like me, going through the motions as I curse myself that I hadn't been smarter. Maybe it would have been better to be colder, enjoying smaller relationships rather than just throwing my heart into a grinder because I was selfish.

But what was done was done. Now I had to decide if I wanted to burn bridges—make people hate me so it would be easier on them.

All I could do was stand there as Duncan announced Cailan's return to the throne and everyone around me screamed their praise. No one knew I was breaking. No one knew what was coming.

But I did.

I always did.

.

The festivities carried on for days. It was like the people were so happy their true king had returned that they had forgotten the threat on Ferelden. I knew Duncan was getting antsy about putting it off as well but there was nothing that could be said to King Cailan. He was no longer in real danger from Loghain and did not need to be hidden away for his protection, following orders to keep himself alive. For all he cared, he was back where he belonged and the Blight would just cease to exist.

Childishness is what he was.

The sounds of eating and revelry of the feast soon became too much for me, forcing me to leave quite early. I slipped out, deciding I didn't care for a celebration when I wouldn't walk away from the next battle.

"Why aren't you enjoying yourself?"

I paused in my retreat, a few corridors away from my room. I turned, my heart tightening in my chest when I spotted Cullen there, dressed in noble finery and his hair pushed back with some sort of gel. I hadn't been alone with him since before Alistair and I became a couple and I could still feel the residual emotions from that night in the forest. Once we might have been as close as I was now with Alistair.. and I didn't know how to handle that.

"The battle is tomorrow. I can't.. relax knowing that," I replied truthfully, my eyes resting on his shoulder. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Do you.. already know who will die?"

The question startled me, causing my eyes to dart to his face before looking away. That was all he needed to read me. He crossed the ground separating us faster than I realized he could; his armor couldn't hold him back. His hands were around my arms, holding me in place as his golden eyes blazed into mine. "Who?" he hissed.

"No one.. important," I spat out, his face twisting, growing darker. Somehow, he could read me better than all the others. He _knew._

"Rosalind?"

Alistair's voice chilled me to the bone, Cullen releasing me as if he'd been burnt and staggering back. He looked haunted as he leaned against the wall, unable to keep himself upright as the knowledge sunk in.

"Alistair," I replied, turning towards him. He looked between the two of us, lips displeased. He wasn't happy to find us alone, but he also didn't have the same insecurity that fueled his rivalry with Cullen.

"I saw you leave the party," he stated, moving to pull me into his side and continue walking towards our room, pointedly ignoring Cullen. "Are you feeling well?"

I nodded, my gut twisting with my silent lie. Alistair didn't look entirely convinced, but he didn't comment on it.

We passed Rio on the way and he gave me a meaningful look, his eyes tormented and pained. Duncan had told him and by the way he wasn't stopping us to inform us of what killing the Archdemon would take, I knew the Wardens would respect my wishes. They wouldn't stop me from doing my duty and making the sacrifice asked of me.

It didn't stop them from looking at me like they were the ones to pull the trigger.

Morrigan was waiting for us at the door.

She looked bone tired as she clutched a large book, bags under her golden eyes and hair falling from her up-do.

I knew exactly what she wanted to say.

"Alistair, I need to ask Morrigan something—I'll be right back, alright?"

He looked at me like he didn't want me to leave his sight but conceded anyways, pecking me on the cheek with a sneer to Morrigan. "Don't keep her too long."

"Sickening," Morrigan complained, tilting her nose up as if she smelled something rotten. "Wouldn't dream of it, miscreant."

My lips slowly curled at them, searing this to memory. I didn't want to forget their interactions, what made them different from the video games.

The door closed firmly behind Alistair and I followed Morrigan to her room, all the while thinking of what I would tell her, how to explain there was no way I could allow her to perform the dark ritual.

She didn't wait—the moment we were behind a closed door she set down her book and opened it directly to the ritual.

"Morrigan—"

"I know you're going to know what I'm asking," she quickly cut in, turning to shove her hair back and off her forehead. "I know.. you know. I just want you to think about an alternative to a wasteful death."

My brows raised, head tilting. It didn't sound like she knew who was taking the death. "Who's wasteful death?"

She paused, eyes narrowing. "A nameless Grey Warden, I'm sure. The three of you have been far too helpful to the cause to be allowed to off yourselves."

I slowly nodded, "Alright. Go on, Morrigan."

"The ritual I wish to preform would require one of the nameless Grey Wardens, preferably not your brother or that _toad_ , and male. It would allow me to take the soul of the Archdemon without anyone dying."

I seated myself at a table against the wall. It was stacked high with books, potion ingredients and the like. I wish I had taken the time to stop her before she'd researched so much. I didn't want her to think it was all in vain. "Morrigan, I am grateful you went through so much effort to find an alternative. The fact you did it thinking it was for a nameless Grey Warden is amazing."

I could see her eyes narrowing before I allowed mine to become downcast. I just couldn't face anyone about what I was about to do. I didn't give her a chance to voice what she feared.

"Have you ever thought of the possibility that someone _needed_ to die to save Ferelden? That it was predestined?"

Her face was twisted as she tried to understand my meaning, her hands fisting at her sides. "Rosalind.. I wish for you to tell me plainly in no uncertain terms what you are implying."

I leaned back in the chair, hands folded over my stomach as I stared up at the ceiling. "Do you know of the Archdemon's background?"

"Rosalind—"

"I know, Morrigan. I'm trying to explain."

"Very well," she sighed, clearly not amused. "I know that they were once Old Gods before being tainted by the Blight."

"Yes. Did you know it is possible for Old Gods to take a vessel?"

"In theory, yes.. Wait.. You mean to tell me.."

I closed my eyes, blocking everything out. I didn't know if I could really tell her all this, but in their lore, it was the only way to explain. "Yes, Morrigan. That is exactly what I am telling you. And the Archdemon knows as well. He means to ensure I am tainted.. That I become his 'queen'. This is how I can call myself an Oracle—a seerer. This body is my vessel and once I die, I will simply take another. But I _must_ kill the Archdemon.. Or I am lost. I will become dark, twisted, just like it. The Archdemon's name is actually Urthemiel if I recall correctly. Tevinter god of beauty or vanity or something. It all blurs after everything that's happened."

Morrigan was uncharacteristically silent after my reveal and after awhile I was forced to look up at her to gauge her reaction. She was simply staring at me with something akin to determination in her eyes, her lips pursed as she held herself up proudly. "Alright."

And just like that, she was on my side once more, ready to take on the world just like when we first met.

"Alright?" I questioned, brows raising.

She nodded, shrugging a bit. "It makes sense and I'm not about to question someone claiming to be a God. Either you're insane—which I'm less inclined to believe, or you are what you say you are. Either way, I do not make a habit of pissing off someone I recognize as my better. What would you have of me?"

She didn't expect me to fling myself off my chair and at her, and much less my tears that she actually believed me—as much as Morrigan could anyways. Besides, her mother was Flemmeth—Mythal.

"Oh, and just so you know," I quickly added as I hugged her tightly. "Flemmeth is Mythal. So there's that."

She groaned, "I knew sending your brother wouldn't be the last of it. Crazy old hag. That's what I would be a vessel for, isn't it?"

"Yup."

"Crazy old women who have too much time on their hands," she grumped into my shoulder.

"That could technically be us."

She pulled me away from her suddenly, eyeing me intently. "Yes. Rosalind, you will _promise_ me you will return. You said you'd just take another vessel—so just take another."

"It doesn't quite work like that.."

"Promise, Rosalind."

I let out a sigh—I could tell she wasn't going to release me until I did. "I will try my hardest, Morrigan."

"Not try, do."

My lips quirked upwards, recalling a Yoda quote. "Do or do not, there is no try."

The quote went over her head but she still nodded, accepting it. "Exactly."

"Okay, Morrigan. I promise."

"Very good. Now, how do you plan to get past the bodyguards you've created around yourself?"

.

I was back in my nightmare-land, trapped in the Deep Roads with _him._ He was grinning at me, letting out a few random cackles.

"Soon, my sweet," he growled, once more a masquerading as a human man. If not for those eyes, he would be rather handsome, representing his position as god of beauty.

"Counting down to your death, are you?"

"At least if I die, I will bring _you_ with me."

My brow arches, pushing my hair over my shoulder in a typical popular girl move as I snort. "I'm afraid it will not be so, _Urthemiel."_

He stiffened at the name, surprised I knew him. He was suddenly before me, a quiet rage in his eyes. "You think you have everything figured out, do you?" His tongue—far too long and forked—swipes over my cheek, covering it in salvia.

I shove against him, disgusted. _"_ Come alone, Urthemiel. Try to taint me. _I will kill you, myself,"_ I hiss before I force my dream to end by sinking my teeth into his shoulder.

I wake with a start, breathing heavily. I take only a moment before I pull myself out of bed, carefully moving with all the finesse of a rogue as I prepare myself for the battle ahead of me.

I am buckling my Grey Warden armor at record speeds, pausing before leaving to look over Alistair's form. He looked so peaceful as he slept on his side, his chest bare and his pants peeking out of the blanket. His hair fell over his forehead, looking so much younger and innocent now.

Looking over him, I knew there were so many things I wished I could have done differently. I wouldn't have left the party when I did—I had missed out on so much of the adventure by running from my feelings. And it still was going to hurt just as much if I'd never gone back to them.

 _"I'll come back to you,"_ I whispered quietly as I pressed a kiss to his brow.

I hated myself just a bit.

With nothing but my magic, weapons, and armor, I stole out of the castle, once against running from my feelings (probably) and facing the end alone.

I didn't do goodbyes. I wouldn't be able to go willing to my fate with a goodbye.

.

I was expended. I had pushed myself past my limit. It had taken everything I had to not let the demon win, to not lose myself to his dark promises. Even now, my magic was spilling from some unseen wound as the wound on my chest spilled my life blood.

It was like the courtroom all over again, but it wasn't a traitor's blood that stained everything, it was _mine._ I had thought dying would be more painful, but I was going out rather peacefully, laying on the head of the dragon. It would make quite the picture, the Hero of Ferelden had managed to get the Archdemon alone and had somehow killed it. No one would doubt a woman Grey Warden again.

"You had to make things difficult, Lillian."

My head lulled to the side, seeing only blue. I threw him a lopsided smile through all the blood, cuts and wounds that covered me. My angel of death, here to deliver me. "I did it," I whispered, my throat raw and my breathing watery as my lungs filled with blood.

"That you did.. Are you ready?"

I took a deep, prolonged breath. Was I ready to say goodbye to Rosalind Cousland? No, I really wasn't. She was my first and I will always be grateful to her and Adrien for giving me my first real adventure. I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to go on, to fall more in love with Alistair, to build some semblance of friendship with Cullen, to talk about knives and spar with Zev, to sing and play music with Leiliana, to make healing poultices with Wynne and Swifie, to joke and laugh with Adrien, to be there when Sven becomes Arishok, to stop Anders from being an idiot, and to play and nap with Titan. I loved these people—they were my family.

They taught me to care for others.

They taught me unity.

"Yes."

I took one last breath and felt my soul detach from the dying body.

 _Rosalind Cousland, Grey Warden, Cousland Survivor, Hero of Ferelden has died._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** **WE ARE NOT SAYING GOODBYE TO THESE CHARACTERS. I REPEAT, WE ARE NOT SAYING GOODBYE TO THESE CHARACTERS.** Now that I have everyone's attention.. We made it! It's choppy, it's short, it is nearly a year later, but we _made it_! Stick around for the first part of the next chapter of her life in Thedas-I'll add the first chapter here and then create a new story for it. So please! Keep an eye out for it!

As always, thanks for reading!~

Jane.

Next time:

 **The Laws of Unity: Embers in the Dark**


	21. LoU:The Champion's Sparrow

_Please enjoy this preview of:_

 **The Laws of Unity: Embers in the Dark**

My first breath was full of pain and relief—it was weird to be alive and know that I had died what felt like moments ago. I didn't know how long I laid there, eyes closed as I became acquainted with my new body. It spasmed around me as my soul tried to slip into all the little crevasses. It felt as if it wished to reject me—and with the pain that blossomed in my chest, I wished it would reject me to.

I could still remember watching Alistair as he slept, unaware that I was about to sacrifice myself for his world and my freedom.

My eyes slowly opened, telling me what I already knew: I was alone.

Alone and unsure just where I was. _Who_ I was.

My head lulled to the side, light hair falling into my eyes. The strangeness of it struck me—I was supposed to have dark red hair, not these curls of gold. I willed it to change, to take on the attribute of fire and burn but it denied me that comfort.

Slowly, the desire to lay there and waste away slipped from my grasp. Each time I blinked, I saw Alistair's face on the back of my lids, my promise still on my lips.

" _I will come back to you."_

I slowly pushed myself up, my body slow to respond to my commands. I pulled myself from the bed unsteadily, legs shorter than what I was used to. A new body meant a new reach. The problem now was.. who was I supposed to be pretending to be?

Memories slowly trickled in as I thought harder, familiar and fuzzy just like Rosalind's was once. The more I concentrated, the more clear they became. The more I remembered, the more likely I would be able to pretend to be someone I was not.

I glanced down, thanking my lucky stars that I hadn't accidentally become a man. That would have sucked.

"Finally awake, are you?"

The voice was familiar in a way that I knew I had heard it before but I didn't really.. _remember_ who it belonged to. I looked to the voice, blinking at the man that stood in the door way, leaning against the door frame as he eyed me.

Hawke. I had given him a pouch of coins in my last life, told him to desert. Seeing him now, did that mean it worked?

I inwardly cursed as I tried to force the memories to come—why was I with him? Who was I supposed to be? I prayed it wasn't that I was his sister. If there was one thing I knew about Hawke, he loved his family. He'd know if I wasn't.. Bethany?

Pain seared through my mind, causing my hands to quickly raise, catching my head. I tried to stabilize myself, but it only helped to send me to the bed, flopping over uselessly.

"Hey, take it easy," I heard the gruff man murmured worriedly as his hands rest on my head. It wasn't a moment later that I felt the soothing mana easing the pain, reminding me of Wynne. "You were passed out when I found you, just rest."

As the pain cleared it became apparent that I didn't have many memories available from this girl. She boarded a boat from Ferelden but had nothing but the clothing on her back and..

My eyes casted about the room, worry inciting anxiety.

..and a small bag that held everything that would ensure her survival in the Free Marches that was conveniently missing.

Well, that's great. She was robbed by the Lowtown lowlives.

"Shit," I muttered, eyes pulled to Hawke's as he raised his brows. I tried to get up, to no avail. Hawke held me down. "I need to kill someone—let me go."

"And here I was thinking you were going to be the sweet damsel in distress."

"You just want to get in my pants."

He let out a soft—and fake—gasp as he released me. "How crass! And completely true. Tell me, spitfire, how do you intend to kill whoever _clearly_ got the drop on you?"

"You're just bored, aren't you?"  
He shrugged, his hand dropping onto my head, ruffling my hair in a familiar manner. "Guilty, I suppose. I just can't let a little thing like you go off on an adventure without me."


	22. Game Over

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 **GAME OVER.**

 **do you wish to continue?**

 **yes**

 **no**

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* * *

 **Author's Note:** The sequel to A Blighted Beginning has been posted! Go to my profile to read it. I hope you'll follow Lillian to her next adventure in Kirkwall in The Laws of Unity: The Champion's Sparrow. (I know I said Embers in the Dark but this is better, promise!)

Thanks so much for joining me on this adventure!

Jane.


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